On an update on the last two weeks as we’ve moved away from masks for the first time where I live. (This turned out to be a looooong one. You’ve been warned.)
I continue to wear my mask in the classroom. Only a handful of students in each class consistently shows up without a mask. I’m honestly not sure why I am still wearing one. I want to say it is out of habit, or respect for those students who would feel uncomfortable if I were walking around without a mask, but there is more to it than that. And that is OK! I also want to make clear that wearing a mask out of respect for the feelings of my more cautious students would be an absolutely acceptable thing to do, and is probably where I am headed without regret or resentment. The reality is that, in our area, masks are still “strongly recommended” in school settings and, as a teacher in school especially, I generally follow guidelines that are “strongly recommended” so I will probably continue to do that here (I have lots of feelings about what a cop out it is to lift mask mandates but still “strongly recommend” masks, but that is for another post).
I do sometimes take my mask off at the front of the room, when I am trying to convey an important message to my students and I get the feeling that my muffled voice is contributing to their inattention. Or when my voice is just tired of talking through a thick mask. But this only leads to maybe 15 minutes of maskless time in the classroom (over the entire day) when other students are present. I have never had to wear my mask during my prep time and I am thankful for that.
It is interesting to see how other teachers are responding to the relaxed mask messaging. I asked my students if many of their teachers were teaching without masks and they said only one was. I know that the two unvaccinated teachers on our staff immediately took their masks off when the mandate was lifted (and one of them is the teacher my students mentioned). Otherwise I don’t know if any other teachers are teaching without their masks on. Both administrators continue to wear their masks, and I’m curious as to why, because I know they are not personally concerned about the risk to themselves. My guess is that since it’s still “strongly recommended“ they feel it is the right thing to do as leaders. And they are probably right. I’m sure the staff who are concerned about the mask mandate being rolled back are thankful that the admins have kept wearing theirs.
While I am not sure many staff are teaching without their masks, I would say the majority are attending staff events without face coverings. We had a staff meeting on Tuesday afternoon, and those of us still wearing a mask were in the minority. It was interesting to see who was wearing a mask. One woman who just had Covid in January was wearing a mask. A staff member I know has health issues was not wearing a mask. I haven’t really had any conversations with other staff about it.
I am trying to relay this information without judgment, and I hope I am succeeding, because I honestly feel no judgment toward anyone at this point (except the anti-vaxers of course). I think this is a complicated time, and people are receiving mixed messages, and we are all doing our best to navigate it in the ways that make the most sense for each of us. I almost said that “make us most comfortable,’ but I honestly don’t think most people are making these choices based on their own comfort. They are trying to weigh the facts, and consider others, as they make these difficult choices.
I continue to wear a mask in all public spaces that offer essential services. And if I am somewhere else and most people are wearing a mask, I keep my mask on too.
The public space where I feel most comfortable taking off my mask is at the dojo, where they have installed air scrubbers, and have incredible ventilation with windows open and fans blowing. They also require that all adults not only be vaccinated, but boosted. I also feel comfortable that my son is now taking off his mask at the dojo because only vaccinated students (5-12yo) can take off their masks. It is the only place I know of that is instituting a mask-on policy only for the unvaccinated, and I wonder how that is going over for the parents of unvaccinated children. I know that at the public school level, the mask mandate being changed to “strongly recommended” is for all students regardless of vaccination status. And while I selfishly would prefer the unvaccinated remain masked, I understand that as a public health initiative that is not possible in public schools. I’m curious what others think of that actually.
I don’t know what the right answer is for me personally or for our community at large. And again I will reiterate that I am thankful it is not my job to make those decisions.
I will also admit that I’m writing this post partly as a response to another post that disparaged “mommy bloggers (and their commenters)” who complain about children wanting to wear masks at school and/or wear masks outside. The rant ended with the declaration that “these (upper-middle class White) women,” are on a mission to shame healthy people for wearing masks because they are “over covid” and they and their families are healthy and/or already had covid and it was fine, and that they are “unbelievably selfish.”
I will admit that when I read the paragraph I assumed she was referring, at least in part, to me and this post (and its comment section). Except I never actually expressed those sentiments, and she didn’t mention masks being used to manage social anxiety or students being harassed for taking their masks off outside, which were incidents that I mentioned in my post. Having said that, those topics were mentioned in some capacity either in my post or comment section. So I do think it’s possible that her post was at least in part a reaction to mine. I also recognize that I might be incredibly self-centered to believe that it’s about me! Maybe it seems like she was unwilling to write a nuanced response because she is not reacting to my post at all! (In my defense, this blogger has absolutely published entire diatribes that were clearly in response to something that I wrote, so it doesn’t feel like I’m being totally unreasonable here.)
I bring it up because I’m really struggling with people responding to uncertainty about how to handle the current murky public health messaging with “how uncaring and selfish you are.” These responses seem to cast people who are willing to embrace new (in their area) public health guidelines as the cause of those new public health guidelines, or at the very least selfish and uncaring for following them. How should those of us who have real concerns and uncertainty about this next phase of the pandemic react when our uncertainty is responded to this way?
I know I should probably just stop reading this person, but I do like to expose myself to different points of view, and I do know that she will continue to advocate for more restrictive responses to the uncertainties of the pandemic, which is not the point of view I read in most other places these days. But maybe if I take what she says personally, I can’t really get anything beneficial from her writing so I should just stop.
But even if I stop reading there, I’ll still come across the sentiment elsewhere.
One thing that’s frustrating is, I feel like these people never articulate what the end game is. There is a very good chance that the low total-vaccination rates in this country mean we’ll never get to a place where community spread is low enough to ensure the health of the most vulnerable. Is it really fair to shame the people who have respectfully followed the most restrictive public health guidelines consistently, when you don’t agree with how those public health guidelines have changed?
{I guess if you have been masking in places where masks were not required you would want other people to do that even though their mask mandates are just now dropping, so maybe that is where the disconnect happens. I think it’s hard for those of us who have been in places where masks have been required since “Day 1,” to understand the mindset of people who have been wearing masks despite public health guidelines in their area not requiring them for over a year.}
It’s discouraging to know that others are more willing to judge people than participate in a meaningful dialogue with them. But maybe meaningful dialogues can’t happen between two bloggers when other people’s comments end up factoring into the conversation.
{I have tried to comment on posts of hers before that are clearly in response to my posts, and she hasn’t responded to me in the comment section, even though she does respond to many other comments there.}
But I’m curious what you all think? When I say I’m not sure what to do, or express concern that my community is not ready to take the next steps to resume a semblance of normal life, am I really saying that I am over Covid and am unwilling to make sacrifices for the young who are unable to get vaccinated, the immunocompromised, and those just generally fearful of Covid? Even if I don’t say it directly, am I implying that?
I honestly don’t think that I feel that way deep down. And I don’t think I would imply it without having that deep-seated belief somewhere. I honestly don’t feel “over Covid“ and I don’t feel like I know what the right answer is. I read plenty of articles that lay out the reasons why those of us who are vaccinated and boosted can return to “normal life” and those articles seem convincing. I also read articles arguing the opposite and those articles seem convincing. I don’t know what the right answer is and I’m tired of not being more sure of myself in the face of so much conflicting information (as I mentioned here)!
And I don’t feel like I want one of the answers to be correct, which would lead me to give more credence to arguments declaring that answer to be correct. But maybe I am just kidding myself. Maybe the part of me that just wants to be done with this, because of course we all do at some level, is subconsciously directing my thoughts and comments in that direction.
{This Atlantic article, which I saw after I wrote this, would suggest that I’m not the only one who is unsure of what our pandemic future should look like.}
All this to say, this is hard and I’m tired and putting one’s thoughts and feelings out into the world is messy business. I’m not always sure I’m doing it right, or that I should even keep doing it. I don’t know what the right answers are and I’m sorry if my point of view is dismissive or belittling to others (which I’m sure it can be).
This is ultimately about me figuring out how to manage people’s judgement, both real and perceived. I am definitely more likely to perceive other people’s judgement when I’m unsure of what to do. I also think I’m more sensitive to perceived judgment when my actions could possibly affect others’ health, and the guidelines and advice from experts and officials are so disparate. When it comes to the pandemic though, I suppose I need to consult with my husband, and my friends in health care whose opinions I trust, and make the best decisions I can for myself and my family.
And if other people are going to imply that I’m uncaring and selfish, but refuse to engage me directly, I need to determine if I agree with their assessment. If I do agree, I need to change my behavior, and if I don’t, I need to just brush myself off and move on.
