Today is my husband and my anniversary: 3/7/11. We have been married for 3 years, domestic partners for 7 and together for 11. (Yes, we started dating the first week of January, which is why we had our DP ceremony on the 2nd and got married on the 4th, so they’d all correspond). I love odd numbers, so I do appreciate the numerology of this particular anniversary.
Unfortunately I’m not appreciating my marriage as much these days.
I actually wrote a long, venting post about things when they were really bad last week. I even scheduled it. But then I decided not to post it and cancelled the schedule request. It’s still sitting in my drafts folder. Let’s just say the “d-word” was uttered.
It’s the same ‘ole same ‘ole. We both bring negatives to our marriage. The day to day is kind of “meh,” and the good is few and far between (and basically requires us being away from our kids for 24 hours, which my parents aren’t so willing to give us these days–and fair enough!). All of that makes the bad hard to stomach.
I’m readying Alain de Botton’s A Course of Love right now. The way he so perfectly captures so much of the frustration that happens in my own marriage makes me feel a bit better; surely these issues are almost universal if a writer can portray them in such a satisfying way. It’s also helping me to recognize all the things I could be doing better, and all the issues I’m bringing to our relationship (so many!).
All that to say, marriage is hard. And not a lot of fun most of the time. I’m tired of so much effort yielding only minimal, temporary results.
Unfortunately we can’t manage a night away for our anniversary this year. Maybe next month.
We are getting together for lunch today. Hopefully that will be fun.
Happy anniversary to us.
Happy anniversary! And thanks for this post. Today, in particular, I needed to hear that it’s not just me.
<3 <3
Marriage is hard unless you are living in a ‘happily ever after Disney world’.
Hope your lunch is helpful and you both get less stressed.