Well, I did it! Everything on my big list. Except for picking up meds, because my Rx was never filled, despite ordering it on Monday. The ADHD meds shortage is no joke. I hope it gets filled before I run out.
Today I mailed my last return (I’ve had that envelope in my car for weeks!) I bought pet food (for the kittens and the bearded dragon). I ran on the Great Highway. I had lunch with my husband. I watched my Spanish-language series. I cleaned up my daughter’s room (she took the bus to swimming for me one day, so I told her I’d help her with her room). I ironed my Ki. I wrote out and emailed my one steps.
I feel ready for my test. More ready than I’ve ever been. At this point I just want to get it over with because it’s long and grueling and I want it to be done.
I’m quite pleased with how this Spring Break went. It can be a bummer to have a different break that my kids, but this year I made good use of it. I’m really glad we ended up with staggered spring breaks.
I also wanted to write a bit more about the “time debt” I mentioned in my last post. I wrote this in response to JJ’s concerned comment on that post (I’ve edited it slightly):
The time debt thing is absolutely my own weird stuff that I’m working through. And I think ultimately it comes from a place of trying to be fair. Like if I am asking for a lot during the week, I should try to offer time during the weekend. I know I would want to be offered time during the weekend if I were on all week! And it can help me to ask for my own time when I’m doing more than I normally would. It makes me better at asking for time when I’m giving a lot of it.
The reality is my husband just can’t manage as much as I can – he gets exhausted and eventually moody and sulky if he doesn’t get the time he needs to recharge. So part of what I’m doing is trying to avoid that, because it will happen even if my husband wants to support me. These past two weeks he has been very supportive of the time I wanted/needed to spend at the dojo. But when it came down to his ability to actually manage covering for me, it was a different story. He just can’t always deliver what he wants to offer. So I’m always mindful of what I’m asking for and try to offer opportunities for him to recharge, because he isn’t as good at recognizing he needs to, and making the space to do it himself – this is definitely a big part of it actually, that I’ve practiced recognizing when I need time and asking for it (as a run or drinks with friends) and he has not, or doesn’t have ready ways to make it meaningful.
I do think there was a time, when I felt a lot more resentment about how much more I did, when I did think of it as a debt to be owed. But now that we both are contributing so much, it’s more about me trying to be fair, and safe guard against his burn out. I never feel like he is tallying time or anything, but I can tell when he’s overextended, and needs a change to reset. It happens more now, as he’s managing mental health issues. So I’m really glad he’ll get almost a week in NYC, away from his normal responsibilities and routines. I really hope it helps him feel better.
And with that, I shall hit “Publish,” because I want to get to bed early even though I don’t have to be on the bus until 9:45am.
By the time I write again I will (hopefully 🤞) be a blue belt!
Well done, it’s so satisfying to get everything done but frustrating about the medicine shortage. My Easter break overlapped with my sons’ and while I got very little done on my enormous to do list, we have had a really nice time. Husband and son went into town to get haircuts, library, etc and I really should be finishing grading a few papers but it’s quite nice to be alone at home for once.
I work away about 25% of the time – but not the same days throughout the year, some months I’m gone 50%, some I’m home for months… and I do feel a lot of pressure to do all the things when I am home to make up for it. And I have a tendency to run myself ragged which isn’t good for anyone.
Are you expected to iron your ki? I never iron anything!!! Do you iron frequently? My kids think the iron is just for perler beads
Interesting. Especially your awareness of the difference in biological needs between your and your husband. YOU SEE he needs a break/breather/refresher when he hasn’t identified it and called it yet…… I think that is so close and knowing and loving!
Know you are prepared, hoping for the celebration news. Thinking of you at test.
I’m proud of you for getting your entire list done! That always feels great.
Thanks for further explanation on time debt. I still can’t say I find it to be a good thing to feel stress about (one more “mental load” thing you’ve taken on in the marriage is how it feels when I read about it), but kudos to you for doing it if it seems to be helping your family dynamic and not just causing more stress for you. That’s all that matters in the long run. 🙂
I am late with my comment, still getting to know your blog. My spring break did not overlap with my kids’ (different school districts) but I took my kids out of school so we can travel. I congratulate you on wiping your list (almost) clean. Well done, big fan of lists over here. Keeps me focused. Daria from NJ.