I feel it would be disingenuous, after my previous posts, not to mention that I’m feeling a lot of ambivalence about the changing public health policies happening right now. Turns out I really did write those posts because I really do need to prepare myself for what next steps will look like. And while I feel my resolve oscillating, I keep trying to remind myself that I live in an area with very high vaccination rates, and that hospitalizations have never overwhelmed our health care infrastructure here.
And that my mental and emotional health has taken a massive hit. I really do think this part is important for me to take into consideration when I’m making choices for myself and my family.
My husband asked me today how I feel about being indoors in public (my parents are taking the kids one night this weekend so he’s planning our evening) and I honestly didn’t know how to respond. Finally I decided that I was okay with being inside right now. I do think this is a lull, and that things will get worse again, and restriction will have to be reinstated. And I feel like taking advantages of the months when it’s relatively safe (for us) to enjoy some semblance of normalcy will be key to our mental health in weathering the future waves. We haven’t always taken advantage of the months of normalcy, which made the subsequent wave that much harder to endure.
I do feel some relief in this mindset: I am willing to participate in a version of my life that feels more normal now, but I’m also aware that the ability to do so is probably fleeting and I’m mentally prepared (or preparing) to return to a more restricted existence when that is necessary.
I just wanted to come here and say that it’s hard. And if you feel yourself withdrawing from efforts by friends, family or public figures to return to normalcy, you are not alone.
And of course, if you think those efforts are folly, that is your prerogative. I’m not a public health official and I don’t mean to present my choices as the “right ones.” I’m just trying to explain where I’m coming from, even as that position constantly evolves.
We are not going anywhere this weekend, though it feels like everyone else is. But we are looking forward to the extra day. And I get all of next week off! Which honestly I’ve barely thought about because this week at work has been ROUGH. I’ve been counting down the days to the end of “Outdoor Ed at school” week without remembering that next week there is NO school! I’m grateful for the break because I really do need one. And I’m grateful to be home to support my husband because he needs a break too.
What do you have planned this weekend? Anything fun?
UPDATE: I realized I never clarified what “retuning to normalcy” looks like to me. I will continue to wear a mask in all indoor settings, especially in supermarkets, pharmacy and other places that provide essential services. But, I will stop wearing a mask outside. I will consider larger indoor events like movie theaters or live music shows (with a mask). I will consider eating indoors and maybe even going to a bar. I will train at my dojo without a mask when that is allowed. I (we) will let our kids play indoors with select friends we know are fully vaccinated. That is what “retuning to normalcy” looks like for our family.
I will keep wearing masks due to my personal situation. BUT with a n95/equivalent I shall go to a few more places. My local area is well vaccinated, and the other area where I go is even more vaccinated. But I will be masked outside in dense areas and inside spaces with strangers; because agoraphobia needs to be beaten back. It is not easy. I am afraid. I understand there is a significant risk still even with 3 shots on board. No easy answers but I do want to see my children and grands. No simple answers either. RIGHT NOW in SF Bay Area it is better but still not really good. And they say they second round of Omicron is here and simply even more infectious…. so I suspect this lull will be short lived. SO will take advantage.
Both Covid and Long Covid after impacts even from ‘mild’ infections scare me.
I’m curious how you determine your risk when you still feel that there is a “significant risk” as a double vaxxed + boosted person? The data is now showing that if you’re age 65+ (I don’t know your age, but just assuming based on your comments) and are vaxxed & boosted, your risk from COVID at this point is lower than from influenza or from a car accident. Do you feel a lot of fear from those things at this time? It’s so curious to me that some people’s feelings about COVID don’t seem to be evolving as vaccine have become widely available and strains have evolved.
I knew people who died of covid.
I know people with serious long covid.
The most recent death of someone I knew from covid (omicron) was a 44 yr old father of 2 under 10, fully vaccinated, very fit and in good health.
The VA study shows post (pre-omicron) covid infection there is a higher than expected incidence of circulatory damage (strokes and heart attacks and clots). The really long term impact of any covid infection is simply unknown (think chicken pox and shingles decades later).
We do not know what new variants will arise next but covid is clearly still mutating.
I think each person has to consider their risks and health issues and make their decisions accordingly. What is right for me now is different from what would have been right for me 40 yrs ago. Dr. Watcher (Chief of medicine UCSF) is again masking in many situations. He evaluates his risks and each situation. I am too.
What is right for one person is different from what is right for another. I find masks are like warm gloves in sub-zero weather, a nuisance but also not difficult to wear.
Wishing you all health and laughter and Life. ( Also safe driving and no serious earthquakes.)
I also agree that things will get worse again so I want to take some risks now. I haven’t worn a mask outdoors in nearly a year. I’m still baffled why anyone would wear one! But I haven’t been unmasked indoors very much at all and am willing to open up a bit. I have friends who think that this is it, COVID is over, there won’t be another variant and if so we just have to accept it. I disagree with that. And I find the disregard for the lives of immunocompromised people to be callous. But for now, I am getting ready to enjoy the decline.