How do I title a post like this?

On Wednesday my friend texted asking if I’d heard from another friend who was up in Bay Area but missing. They had abandoned their car on the side of the road on Monday and it had been impounded. They were leaving disturbing voicemails on their friends’ phones, but wouldn’t pick up when friends’ called them. Maybe they will call you, my friend said. Since you’re the only one who still lives in the Bay.

They texted me (incoherently) that afternoon and I immediately called them back.

What followed was one of the most traumatic and upsetting evenings I’ve experienced in a long time. I spent over two hours driving around the airport trying to get my friend to tell me where they were. They kept saying Jesus was guiding me and I’d be there soon. As it became evident I was not arriving like they hoped, they because agitated and started saying disturbing things. Things that made me feel unsafe. Initially I had hoped to meet them in a public place and have law enforcement come to help. By the end I hoped to get eyes on them so I could relay their location to the authorities (their parents had reported them missing as soon as they could – 48 hours after the car was impounded).

In the end it didn’t matter because I never did find them. I just ended up driving home, in tears.

Nine of their friends went to work calling hotels and motels in the areas around where they had me driving, to no avail. We went to bed that night hoping they didn’t hurt themself or others while we slept.

I did not really sleep.

Thursday at work was horrible. My friend was posting threatening things on Instagram, but even that, coupled with what they had said to me the night before was not enough for police to ping their phone to find them.

A couple people were able to get a hold of them, but they couldn’t respond coherently to requests. We couldn’t figure out where they were, but it seemed like they were still in the Bay Area.

This morning their parents called me to say they has been arrested and were being taken to the hospital. They wouldn’t leave aconvenience store so the owner called the police. The police will not release them because of their mental state, so they will be 5150ed.

I am the local contact since I’m the only one who is up here right now. Their parents will be flying up from LA soon. I may be getting their car out of impound, but only if they hand over their keys voluntarily.

It’s been a lot. I am exhausted and devastated.

This friend was a really good friend of mine. In college, when I was kind of a mess, this friend was always there for me. We traveled around Europe together our junior years, when they were studying abroad in Florence and I was in Spain. I wasn’t always the easiest person to be around back then, but they were always there for me. They were always kind, and never judgemental. We’ve continued to be there for each other as adults too. Our birthdays are five days apart and we celebrated together a lot in our 20s.

I am so devastated that this is happening to them. Psychosis is not something one just bounces back from, even with the right meds (and they have stopped taking their meds before). I don’t understand how someone I know and love can become someone else entirely. It feels like, if it could happen to them, it could happen to anyone.

They have parents that love and support them. They have money and resources (and parents that have more of both). They have friends who care and are willing to help. And ultimately none of it will matter, because mental health is not a priority in this country and we don’t have the systems in place to truly help people having sustained, severe mental health crises.

They will be held and medicated until they are stabilized, but then they will be released and left to their own devices. And this will probably all happen again.

I want to write more but I’m tired. This has been such a drain on me mentally and emotionally. I’m glad they are relatively safe now and hopefully will be getting the help they need. I hope….