It went…

…okay.

It probably went better than I’m thinking it did (this is what my husband assures me). Who knows? I sure as hell don’t.

The good news… they said they will decide quickly. They also said that they would be asking finalists to do an example lesson and asked if I’d be available for that. I said I’d make myself available.

The truth is, I honestly have no idea if I have any shot of getting this job.

What I do know is that I REEEEEALLY want it.

It’s not just a Spanish position, although the Spanish part is perfect: two periods of Spanish 1 and Spanish 2 each. Exactly what I was hoping for.

But the other part is to be an advisor, which means I’d have a class of students for two years, and work with them on social emotional development, life skills, decision making, all kinds of cool stuff. It’s the kind of “teaching” that I get really excited about. And it’s what I probably have the most experience in (I’m guessing, because I really do have a lot of experience in that kind of student support, and I can’t imagine other candidates have it because I only do because of the jack-of-all-trades aspect of my current job).

I’m wondering if (actually suspecting that) as early as tomorrow, I’ll know if I’m out of the running.

It will break my heart.

But the one positive thing that will come from all of this, is that I’m more sure than I’ve ever been that I’m interested in teaching at a high school. Especially this high school.

I just worry I didn’t make that clear enough in my interview.

So many people gave me so much advice. I practiced SO MANY responses to SO MANY possible questions. And of course none of them were actually a part of the interview. It feels like I prepared for all the wrong things, and yet I recognize that I could never had prepared for the right thing.

In the end, as I keep singing to myself, Que será será, Whatever will be will be.

The good news is tomorrow a really good friend is coming in from out of town. I’ve seen him maybe three times since we graduated from college and yet he remains one of the few people I know in real life that I truly trust. So I took tomorrow off to hang out with him, and it’s honestly the only thing holding me together right now.

I promise I’ll let you all know as soon as I hear anything more definitive.

Oh, and I think it bears mentioning, that the only people (excluding my husband and parents) who actually wished me luck yesterday were “blog friends” and readers, either in texts to me or comments on my blog. I think that is really telling. So many other people knew, a few friends at work, some now far-away friends that gave my great advice on how to prepare… not one of them remembered to wish me luck the day of. Only my blog peeps did that.

I’m just saying… that is an incredibly telling thing.

I’m so thankful for this space, and for all of you. I literally re-read all your comments before I went in there today. They bolstered me when I felt alone and nervous and scared.

Thank you.