It’s already January 3rd and I’m fighting something inside myself to sit down here.
The only thing I know for certain is that there will be no New Years post in this corner of the internet. At least I don’t think there will be. And I want to write it out, and put it into the world, if only to absolve myself of my own expectations.
Things with my friend have been hard. And heartbreaking. It’s hurt me and hurt my marriage. I’m feeling pretty lost and alone.
But I took today to recoup. And I’m feeling a little better.
I’m going to step away from the situation with my friend for a couple days. It’s clear to me now that I cannot help him. It’s just beyond me. And it doesn’t help anyone, least of all him, for me to let myself get taken down with him and his mental illness.
So that is where I am at. And I wanted to check in and let people know that I’m okay. Or I will be.
I’m so thankful my break is not over yet. I really need the next three days.
YES, you Do need these next few days and it is going to be super wet and you need to be self caring during this time. Hopefully you can get a run in tomorrow first thing in the morning before the sky lets loose.
Mental illness cannot be fixed by friends. I am glad you are seeing this and acting to take care of your self because THAT is something you can and must do. Doing that will be hard for you but it is necessary to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, so, please, keep yourself and your family safe.
Sending so much caring and support your way.
Such an incredibly tough situation to be in. I’m proud of you for knowing that you need to take that step back and take care of yourself in the meantime though. Hang in there. xoxo
Not pouring, hope you ran yesterday and can do same today though it will be damp. Thinking of you and sending support.