Here is the part where I confess that the this break has been very…bleeg. It has not been great. The snow was okay. The 11yo was sick and that really tainted the whole thing. Christmas Eve and Day were stressful. I have been kind of sick since we got back and the 14yo had been quite sick (sinus blockage and crazy coughing). My husband and I have not been getting along great. We’ve all been with each other 24/7 and it’s starting to wear on us.
The hot water attachment for the bidet failed and scalding water shot all over our bathroom. I had to crouch in front of the scalding water to turn off the attachment and it hurt and I got soaked. There was a half inch of water on the floor. This was after a small leak on the attachment at the toilet end (that was so infrequent we didn’t notice it), accumulate enough water in the floor boards that it was leaning into the garage. I think fixing that leak is what caused the attachment to fail under the sink. I guess our water pressure was too high for it to handle (this is not the first appliance our high water pressure has ruined). So we will have a cold water bidet.
Our two nights away from the kids at the end of this week is cancelled because my dad had been really sick for almost a week. We can’t even do anything tonight when the 14yo is at a sleep over because my MIL is sick too so they can’t take the 11yo. I guess the good news is we didn’t have anything specific planned. It would have been nice to spend some time together reconnecting after how poorly we’ve been getting along but it is not to be.
I ran today and felt awful. Well, the first third felt okay. I stopped less than on any other run! But then I had a weird coughing fit (like something was caught in my throat) and then I had a massive side cramp covering my whole right side for the second third and then I felt just regular shitty for the last third. When I came home I could’ve even do my favorite 10 minute Arms and Shoulders class with the weights I usually use! My lower back has been hurting again and my knee had felt weird ever since snow. I just don’t feel good physically at all. Which is exacerbating how bad I feel mentally.
I feel like I have nothing to look forward to this break except going back to work. Which of course I don’t look forward to at all.
It’s just not a great way to end 2024. But I guess this year has been a dumpster fire globally, so maybe it’s an apt way to end it. I was looking back at a post at the end of 2023 and I wasn’t looking forward to 2024 (mostly because of the election – god if I’d known how it was going to end up back at the start of the year, I’d have been devastated).
So yeah. I’m not in a great space mentally or I guess physically (even though I have no idea what is wrong physically). I hope things turn around in the five days before schools starts again.
At least I got the Christmas stuff taken down and put away. That had been stressing me out and now it’s done.
I’ll be posting a recap of my December goals and then maybe some thoughts for 2025 later this week. At least I hope to. We’ll see if it happens.
(And yes I realize these are all first world problem and yes I’m grateful for everything I have (which is so, so much). I’m just in a wonky head space and it felt disingenuous to post like I was feeling fine, when I’m just not right now.)
THANK YOU for being honest. helps.
I’m feeling rotten too. Also grief and discouragement and fear. Am working hard at counting my blessings. Am reminding myself that next year at this time I hope I am here and still have these positives in my life; that, maybe, the level of worry/anxieties/fears about the future will not ALL have ended up as frightfully as I imagine.
Sometimes I sell that better (to me) than other times. But I keep trying, over and repeatedly. It is better to not give up.
Your holidays had some wonderful parts as well as the hard parts. I hope the sick senior generation people go to their doctors on Thursday. There are a number of nasty things going around right now and we are all vulnerable … especially seniors.
I am super sorry you and your husband have not had some time off together, know it helps every time you do that.
Am very sorry re the steaming hot water and having to have an unheated bidet. Presume you have talked to a professional plumber about the water pressure. HOPE the wet in the bathroom all dries thoroughly without leaving any unpleasant, expensive problems behind.
I think there a great many of us who want to crawl into our beds and pull our covers over our heads. Hang on and hold hands, we are not alone. Thank you for holding my hands.
Hugs!
Thank YOU for always commenting. Things are bad in so many parts of the world right now. And sometimes I think it doesn’t touch me but it does. It touches all of us. I can only imagine how hard it is for the people actually affected by all of it. I really hope things are better at the end of next year, even though there is so little reason to believe they will be.
I’m so sorry that your break has been so crummy. I hate when everything is out of whack, so frustrating. I hope you start having runs that feel good again, instead of miserable ones. I think that helps so much with mental health.
Sure, they’re first world problems, but that doesn’t mean that they are not still valid problems. We can be grateful for our gifts and still be frustrated by circumstances. Hang in there. As purple and rose said, we’re not alone.
Thanks friend. I appreciate it.
I’ve said before that sometimes I feel like you’re me, and sometimes I feel like you’re my husband. You’ve turned into my husband again. He has had the CRAPPIEST winter break. He got sick (we think it’s Covid, but aren’t really sure because he didn’t take a test- this is just based on the symptoms and how he feels.). AND, he stubbed his toe and thinks it’s broken. This happened on December 23rd and he hasn’t been able to run at all (although, he’s also sick so he wouldn’t have been running anyway.) I feel SO BAD for him, and for you. The break is dwindling to a close- he goes back to school on Monday- and he really hasn’t been able to enjoy it at all.
Anyway… I hope everyone starts to feel better and things turn around for the end of your break (if that’s possible.). Oh, and the flooded bathroom story is AWFUL. Sheesh.
Ha! I am a shape shifter! The reality is that even if I haven’t enjoyed the break much, it has been time away from work and I’m thankful for that. I actually started doing work stuff again, and that helps me realize how nice it’s been to not think about it for ten days, even if I wasn’t loving the other stuff I was doing. 😉
And yeah, the bathroom drama SUCKED. No thank you.
Friend! Hugs. While these are first word problems, they are still valid, and it’s not pain Olympics. We all feel sadness and pain and discomfort, and it’s a OKAY to express it. I am feeling the need to be more authentic in life- no smiling when I don’t feel like smiling, expressing disapproval when something is bothering me, etc.
Anyway, hope it gets a tad bit better. I am at work today and tomorrow, but WHY, why? No one wants to be here 😉
How are you already back at work!? Are they PD days? We have always had a PD the day we get back from the winter break, that Monday, but this week we don’t because the union voted to take it on Nov 1. So now we have two five day weeks when we get back, instead of two four day weeks, because MLKJr day is also later than usual. I continue disliking how the regular calendars are messing with my academic calendar. Boo.