I did not mean to peace out for so long, and I am sorry. It’s been a rough couple weeks, but I couldn’t bring myself to come here and write about it because I know what I’m going through is not an actual health crisis, that most women have to deal with it at some point, and so I felt I shouldn’t come here and bitch. I mean, I thought that was why I wasn’t coming here (especially when I was thinking about SHU so much and all that she’s been through with her very real health crisis), but now I’m pretty sure it was something else.
I think the real reason that I didn’t come here to write about it was because I really wasn’t sure what was going on. It seems so obvious to attribute hot flashes, horrible sleep and GI issues to perimenopause, but I struggle to know if I am even in perimenopause myself. I am 44, and have diminished ovarian reserve. I didn’t cycle for most of my 20s, and when I did my cycles were short 16-20 days and my “period” was just spotting. Then I got an ablation (because my prolapse prevented me from wearing a tampon and I like to swim), and stopped having even the erratic bleeding I used to experience. I did eventually have some spotting, and sometimes it would line up with other symptoms like moodiness, bloating and tender breasts (that was always a big one for me) which led me to believe that hormones were fluctuating in a way that at least mimicked cycles. I had some minor hot flashes a couple years ago and my mood was all over the place so I assumed I was in perimenopause then. And it’s been over a year since I’ve had any kind of cycle symptoms or spotting, so I assumed I was in menopause already.
In the last year, when my sleep went to shit, I assumed that was also menopause because I heard that was a common issue for women pretty much forever after “the change.” So I was super surprised when I started having hot flashes (way more intense than last time) and really bad GI issues (sometimes the bloating was so bad I couldn’t do anything but lay in bed for several hours) and I thought, what the what? But I assumed it was perimenopause again, since I didn’t have a real lack of cycles to prove otherwise, and started reading up on all the trouble it can cause.
Except the really bad shit started not long after I started a new medication. I assumed the new medication would be no big deal because I’ve been on Ritalin forever, and Concerta is so similar that when I first saw the name of the drug on the Rx bottle I assumed the refill was a mistake, and I had been given Ritalin again (I swear there were only hour letters difference in the two). So surely starting that would be no big deal. I have literally never had adverse affects with any drug, except I always get a yeast infection when I take antibiotics.
(This is another thing I wondered about! Because I just took antibiotics for the first time in forever in January, for the sinus infection, and I def had some GI stuff after that, because I started taking probiotics to try to improve them. So was the really bad GI stuff just a compounding of that issue?!)
And maybe it was the antibiotics, or the Concerta!! And I realized that it was the not knowing that was driving me crazy. It was the not knowing that kept me from writing here. Because every symptom I have can be attributed to the Concerta, or to perimenopause, or even a really bad imbalance in my gut biome. So what the fuck should I suspect.
Oh, and I started thinking that my GI issues were a new lactose intolerance, which is also linked to perimenopause, and antibiotics (but not Concerta?). I stopped eating dairy for a few days and the GI symptoms dissipated, but when I ate some Thursday, they kind of came back, but not nearly as bad as before (though I slept HORRIBLY Thursday night – I was up from 2-4:30am and I was wondering if that was because I ate dairy that day). Everything is a possible sign, and none of them point anywhere.
So basically I have no answers. And I hate not having answers. I can accept a lot of things if I know what I am accepting. I even accepted lactose intolerance when I thought that might be it, even though I eat tons of dairy and would have to overhaul my whole diet, and not eat foods I love. I’d honestly rather stop eating dairy, knowing it would manage my GI issues, than not be sure of what was causing it.
But now I’m not sure again. I really don’t know. And it’s driving me crazy. I stopped taking the Concerta, and am back on the Ritalin and I guess I’ll see how it goes. I am taking notes on what I eat and how I feel. My guess is will be like the dairy, a suggestion of an answer but not a definitive one.
And I’m sad to leave the Concerta behind because I really liked only taking it once a day, and I think it worked as well as the Ritalin, even though I was taking a lower dose. So it will be hard to not have a definitive answer.
In the meantime, thank you to all the new commenters who shared with me their experiences with HRT after less than positive experiences (unapproved comments do not show up in my email so I only saw them Friday night). If stopping the Concerta does nothing for my other symptoms (mostly the heat flashes and sleep), I will definitely talk to my OB again about HRT. Maybe there is a concoction I can handle! Or maybe the sleep deprivation will make me more amenable to other side affects. Or maybe I’ll ask about the non-HRT prescription for hot flashes. Or Wellbutrin! I took Wellburtin when I was depressed and SSRIs weren’t working and thought it was the most helpful thing I had tried. I’m not sure if I can take any of these while on ADHD meds, but it’s just good to know there might options out there and I REALLY appreciating people sharing with me. THANK YOU!!!!
So yeah, that is where I’ve been. It wasn’t really that I didn’t think my issues were worth writing about, it was that I wasn’t sure how to write about them when I was so unsure of what was going on. I’m trying to accept that there will be no definitive answer, but that I’ll have to see how my symptoms change. The only truly proactive thing I can do is track supplements, food, symptoms and how I’m feeling. That is the only way to recognize the patterns that might provide real information. So I’m doing that. And I’ll keep you all updated when I have more information.
But I promise I’ll post about something else – anything else – before then.
It’s frustrating to have all these symptoms and not know what is really causing them. Do you read the newsletter from Emily Oster’s team? It’s written by a endocrinologist. The content is excellent so I recommend checking it out! I haven’t hit menopause yet, but I read it to know what to expect and how to navigate conversation conversations with my physician.
I was looking into perimenopause so early, because my RE said I could expect to start by 40! But it’s been slippery to figure out than I had expected. I’m glad you’re researching it now so you’ll feel informed when the time comes. I hope it’s easy for you!
Menopause is complex, varies from woman to woman, and can fluctuate in symptoms over time. Other stressors can increase the complexities of reactions. We have a great number of major ‘other stressors’ happening on a world scene, and you have two children hitting complex life stages, teach middle school students and have a spouse with their own complex pressured life. So no wonder it is hard to know what is throwing your body off it’s normal path.
Tracking foods, symptoms, fluids and exercise is smart, but it takes time (maybe even months) to really see patterns especially when hormonal fluctuations may be running on a 3-6 or 8 month variation. Not nice to hear, I know personally, and am sorry. Does not sound like one wave of magical fairy wand will be possible. DO HOWEVER, keep your doctor informed. Tell what you are tracking, ask what is helpful to doc and what is white noise. Ask for any suggestions and when you should come in again. Ask: if you might have developed sleep apnea, if caffeine could be part of it, about FODMAPS, vitamin B’s, drug interactions, and above all ask about low dose HRT esp patches rather than pills, and about starting with only a portion of the patch… e.g.1/2 a patch. Because you have no idea how steep or sudden your hormonal swings are …just a bit might stabilize the swing or moderate it’s impact.
Sharing the confusion and variations of chaos like you just did may help you sort out your thinking….but it also normalizes for the rest of us the chaos of symptoms of menopause AND AGING in general. Because puberty is chapter one, pregnancy is chapter two, menopause is chapter three …. and then the book continues for SEVERAL more chapters…. In other words: YOU’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN THE ADVENTURE!
Tremendous support. Women get through by holding hands with each other and I very much appreciate you. Hoping you find answers and help.
A friend just told me that probiotics can mess with you! I feel like nothing is safe and I need to keep track of everything. It’s hard. But I’ll get there. I hope.
Friend. I am sorry you’ve been going through that. I have no advice except that I am in peri-menopause myself. I get *some*night sweats here and there but I know it’ll only get worse. Bloat comes around my period which I still get regularly at 43. Mood? That is always fluctuating, but I am hyper-aware of the luteal phase. I probably mentioned it already but I started birth control for night sweats and that made me so tired that I had to stop. I need my energy.
Thanks friend. Thanks for the info about the pill making you crazy. I def can’t sacrifice any energy these days! I’ll keep that in mind when I take next steps.
I am NOT a product influencer in any way but I just want to give a shout to Boll & Branch sheets. My boyfriend suggested we order them and they stay so cool!! So if I’m hot at night and move to a different spot the relief is immediate. I’ve found that between going to bed in layers that I can remove, these sheets, and sleeping with an open window have really helped manage the night symptoms I have – as well as allowing my nightime routine to change as necessary instead of forcing adherence to one. Anyway. Get the sheets. They’re a splurge but man. Game changer.
Courtney, it’s Boll & Branch here! We just saw this and we love your passion for our bedding. It means the world to us that you took the time to share your thoughts on this article and we’d love to send you a special “thank you.” When you get a chance, send us an email to help@bollandbranch.com from the email address you use to shop with us — you can reference “For Kaitlyn” to ensure we connect you to the right team member!
Egads- this sounds awful. So frustrating to be feeling like this and not know what’s causing it!!! It’s like… you’ve got too many potential causes to choose from. How are you even managing to function and go to work??? I read Purple and Rose’s comment above- lots of really good stuff there.
Post about whatever you want, as often as you want. The good thing about putting it all out there is, there’s a chance someone will read it and have a solution for you. I always say- there IS a solution, you just haven’t found it yet.
Hang in there <3
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of weird medical things. As someone who always has something not-terminal going on that still deeply affects my daily quality of life, “minor” medical stuff that wreaks havoc on our lives is still so real. My fingers are crossed that your tracking turns up some patterns that you can act on.
It’s so frustrating when you have symptoms and can’t pinpoint what is causing them. And unfortunately, over the years, I’ve realized that we put WAY TOO MUCH trust and expectation in doctors because it seems like most are also just looking for needles in a haystack… especially when it comes to women’s health. We’re all our own best advocates. We know our bodies best and yes, it will throw stuff at us we don’t understand but – unfortunately, more often than not, it seems like we have to figure out patterns and reactions to things and bring that evidence to a doctor who is willing to dig deeper. Ugh. Being a woman is fun, isn’t it?