Me vs The Sink Clog

I’ve unclogged our sink before–taken apart the pipes and cleaned everything out with the diaper sprayer I still have attached to the toilet. It’s a PITA, but it’s better than spending a couple hundo on a plumber.

Our sink has been draining slowly for a while, but I didn’t do anything about it. Then I had the bright idea to plunge it and suddenly it wouldn’t drain at all.

So I took off the pipes and cleaned everything out. SO MUCH GROSS AND DISGUSTING.

Then I cursed a ton trying to reattach the u-pipe and turned on the water and watched it drain beautifully…until it stopped.

Evidently the clog was way back, in the pipes behind the wall.

So I took off the u-pipe again and stuck a hanger back there. But I couldn’t get it past the next turn in the pipe.

Next I bribed my tantruming 4yo to visit the hardware store with me, where I bought an auger and a special sink plunger, and where he got a “drain monster sword.”

I managed to get the auger a good five feet into the pipe, and it pulled out some gross stuff, but nothing that would explain such a tough clog. Still, I hoped for the best, reattached the u-pipe (with much cursing again) and turned on the water, which drained beautifully again, until it didn’t. Again.

Next I cursed myself for not buying some f*cking chemical drain cleaner at the f*cking hardware store, while checking to see if the internet had any wisdom to impart.

Many cups of vinegar and baking soda later, plus a few more plunges, and we’re at a standoff, and the clog is still winning.

We only have one bathroom and two sinks in our house, so this is really frustrating.

I’m taking a rest before going in for round five.

Recuperation

It can be hard, when I have a lot going on, to give myself the time necessary to recuperate. If I’m resting, things aren’t getting done. When things aren’t getting done, I feel stressed. It’s hard to rest when I’m stressed. Vicious cycle engaged. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I am trying hard to give myself the time I need. To rest my voice. To rest my body. To do these things I have to cut out the regular fun stuff. My husband and I haven’t spent an evening together in two weeks. First he was sick and going to bed early. Now I am doing the same.

I can’t believe it’s already the second half of November. I can’t believe Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday, and the Christmas mayhem starts directly after that. We will need to get a tree and decorate it. We’ll need to get the Big Box down and rummage through everything. We will need to make the calendars and ornaments and order them. We will need to do so, so many things.

I am excited to hide Heart, our elf on a shelf again. She has some new surprises in store for our kids this year, and I’m stoked to see them excited every morning to find her and her surprises.

I do love Christmas, but I don’t feel ready for it this year. I’m trying to get in the right head space, because it’s coming whether I’m ready or not. And I want to take advantage of this, the most wonderful time of the year.

Are you looking forward to the holidays?

Better

I felt better today. I still felt like shit, but I didn’t feel like shit on a shoe, that had been placed in a bag and lit on fire on someone’s doorstep.

So yes, today I felt better. And I was thankful for that, because yesterday I felt really, really bad.

All my students asked me why I was at work, when I was so clearly feeling like shit. I explained that it’s hard to set up for a sub, and it being the penultimate day of the trimester, there was a lot to do. So many of them owed me missing work, and I was trying to make sure it all got in. Plus we had a test to get ready for. I think a few of them recognized I was there for them, and some actually appreciated it. That was nice.

Now I have all those tests to grade, and late work to score and enter. I’m glad we have a week off to get it all done.

Except it’s not really a week off, not for me. A few of my friends didn’t have childcare for next week (it’s SFUSD’s first time taking the whole week off, so it was a new experience trying to get coverage, and there weren’t many options) so I’m taking three 2nd grader girls for three days. Their moms are paying me (I’m not that nice), and I’m trying to keep the whole thing professional. It’s a really nice group of girls, and my son will only be around on Wednesday, so it should be a okay. But we’ll see. It’s not like I would have been on vacation otherwise, but having a bunch of 2nd graders over is very different than dealing with my own kid. Also my house is small and it’s supposed to rain. We’ll see how it goes. I’m looking forward to having a little extra spending money over the holidays, too.

I’m sorry for the shoddy posting this week. I hope to make up for in during the rest of the month.

 

Sick

That cold I was worried I was getting this weekend finally hit, and it hit hard.

At this point I’m just trying to get through the next two days, because all that shit I mentioned having to do yesterday is still sitting there, waiting for me to do it.

In the weeds

It’s the last week of the trimester and I’m really in the weeds right now. I have a ton of stuff to grade, tests to create and scores to input. I’m trying to stay on top of everything so my students know where they stand at the start of the Thanksgiving break. My finalized grades are due the Wednesday we get back.

Posts here are going to be sparse this week. I apologize for that. I’m doing the best I can.

Con resaca

I drank too much at the mezcal tasting yesterday and woke up this morning with an incredible hangover. I haven’t felt that bad from drinking since before I had kids. I still can’t believe I made it through the day, on the drive to work I wasn’t sure I had it in me.

I had to get my allergy shot too and my upper arm is now the size of a cantaloupe. I just downed some children’s Benedryl which means I probably have another hour in me before I pass out.

I can’t remember the last time I was this excited to go to bed.

24 Hours

My husband and I are about to get 24 hours of together time. Without the kids.

It’s been a while since we’ve had this. A couple of months maybe? I know some people go years without a night out alone (how they manage to keep their marriage strong without one I DON’T know), but we try to take advantage of living close to my parents and take a 24-hour date night every once in a while. When it’s been over two months, it feels like it’s been a long time.

Things between my husband and I have deteriorated somewhat in the last month, which has been very stressful. I’m worried that it will take so long for both of us to decompress that we won’t manage to reconnect in any significant way, but hopefully the decompressing will happen, at least.

Of course my husband still has his man-cold, and my throat has felt scratchy for almost 24 hours now, so I’m worried I’ll come down with it at any point. I’ve watched four people I know get some intense laryngitis in the past couple of weeks, and my husband’s cold had it, so I’m really worried I’m going to start feeling horrible any minute now. Laryngitis always gets me.

My husband also rammed his knee into a wall (don’t ask, I didn’t) and is now limping around like a middle schooler trying to get out of PE. (Yes, I know, I’m not a very kind, nurturing wife.) So yeah, we’ll see how this date night goes.

The good news is tomorrow we are going mezcal tasting with my friend and her husband and I’m really excited about it. I love going out with my husband and other couples, because I am reminded how incredibly smart and funny he is when he’s being himself for other people. It’s almost like I get to see him through someone else’s eyes when we’re out with other people, which allows me to look past so many of our entrenched issues and remind me why I fell in love with him in the first place. If I manage to stay well until tomorrow afternoon, it could be just what our marriage needs right now.

Because the entrenched issues remain, well, entrenched. I haven’t brought up how hurt I was by my husband’s behavior on Wednesday: he DID sulk for most of the evening, finally declaring that he didn’t appreciate that I asked him to do pick up to teach him a lesson. Actually, what I said was I hoped it would help him better understand my perspective surrounding pick-up, but hey, I guess we hear what we want to hear. We definitely need to talk if that is what he heard.

And yet, I don’t want to talk. Or better said, I don’t know what to say. Even if I figured out what to say, I wouldn’t know how to say it. I wish I saw a therapist so I could go over all this stuff with her, and show up to a discussion with my husband armed with all the right phrases. I KNOW that how you say something is more important than even what you’re saying, at least sometimes, and I know I SUCK at saying things the right way. And honestly, I’m not even sure what I’d like to get out of a conversation like that anymore. It feels like we’ve had that conversation SO MANY times, and it doesn’t seem to get us anywhere. It’s hard not to feel hopeless about making any progress on that front.

Then again, maybe I’m not giving him, or us, enough credit. Things have changed, just very, very slowly. And I suppose every one of those conversations moved us incrementally towards positive growth. Still, each one has also taken its toll. It’s hard to know if we’re coming out ahead.

I try to remember how good things felt between us, just one month ago. When I can get a hold of that feeling, I know it’s worth talking it out. I just wish I had the right words ready when the time comes.

At Work

I’m at work today, trying to get caught up on grading. The trimester ends next Friday and I would like to spend a day during the Thanksgiving break getting ready for the next trimester, with only some final tests and projects to grade and enter. Grading and entering scores is definitely my work-kryptonite. I’m perpetually behind.

Obviously spending a day-off at work is a bummer, but I do appreciate the time to get a ton done. It makes me miss my classroom though. My room used to be like a home away from home. I had cool posters all over the walls, and interesting stuff everywhere. I had a mini-kitchen set up around the sink and an oil diffuser and an extra sweatshirt for when I got cold. My classroom was where I stored stuff from home I didn’t have space for, and where I put up pictures of my kids and friends around my desk.

I don’t have any of that anymore. I sit at a work table in one of the classrooms I share and I get done what needs to get done. It feels very different. It doesn’t feel like a home away from home.

I miss my room so much. Every time I walk in there (it shares a door with a room I teach in so I can visit it from time to time) I get that pins in the back of my eyes feeling, but I refused to cry. It seems silly, I’m sure–it just a classroom! I honestly had no idea how much it meant to me until they took it away.

Well, I better start grading papers. That’s what I’m here to do.

Too much to ask?

Wednesday are usually my one day to get a workout in during the week. Sometimes I can squeeze one in somewhere else, but Wednesday is generally sacred. Except yesterday there was a meeting to communicate our concerns about the delayed construction to the board, and well, I felt I should be there. Of course it ran late and then I didn’t have time to run before I picked up my daughter and her friend from a drama class they go to together.

I was feeling really frustrated, especially since I really HATE picking up from the drama class because it’s a PITA to get to, and there is no parking, and it takes forever to take the friend home and then get back to our house.

{Then why do the class? Because our daughter has been interested in drama and we aren’t very good at signing her up for outside classes, so when my friend said her daughter was going, and she could take them, I jumped at the opportunity, because I couldn’t get up to the city in time to get them over there. So my friend takes them from aftercare to the class and I pick up. Also, my daughter really likes it. So I suck it up and do it since our daughter never does anything while her friends are constantly taking swimming lessons, tennis, soccer, softball, art, and other fun stuff.}

So I was stewing in frustrating and anger about missing my workout, when I remembered my husband had attempted to go back to work but had come home after lunch because “that was a BIG mistake.” He could pick them up for me!

So I called him, and of course he was not at all interested in helping me out. First he felt too shitty. Then he didn’t know where it was or how to get there. (Um, GoogleMaps much?) Then I wasn’t going to be home with the car in time (I picked up our son AND was home in PLENTY of time).

I had already cancelled my call to Guatemala because I knew he couldn’t manage bedtime by himself, so I was feeling pretty frustrated that he wasn’t going to do this for me. I ALWAYS do afternoon pick up, I was the only one to drive them both to all their swim lessons, I took my son to his soccer, I take our daughter to Girl Scouts. I do freaking EVERYTHING afternoon or extracurricular, and he couldn’t do me this one solid?

{Also, once he had me take our son to school when I was staying home with the flu and it was FUCKING awful, and I had to stand in line at a Walgreens to get myself medicine and the line literally parted so I could go first and pay, after which the woman CHANGED registers because she didn’t want to be near anything I had stood in front of, that’s how bad I looked. So in my mind, asking my husband to drive when he has a man cold isn’t off limits.}

So I told him fine, I’d do pick up but he had to do bedtime, and I’d workout then. Except I HATE working out that late, and I knew he’d be slacking and I’d end up picking up that slack after working out so I called him back and said, nope, he was going to pick them up and that was that.

So I rushed to get our son and brought him home, then handed over the keys so HE could drive through that super annoying part of the city and HE could park four blocks away, and HE could herd the two girls back to the car and HE could field questions about whether or not there was a treat, and he could sit in traffic on the way to the other girl’s house, and then HE could drive back to our place.

{I was really nice in getting our son because he gums up every part of that sequence, ESPECIALLY the driving part because he wasn’t desperately to participate in their conversations and games and they want nothing to do with him, which never goes over well.}

I’m now almost done working out and he is probably just dropping off our daughter’s friend, if that, and I am SO HAPPY I stood my ground, even though I’ll end up doing bedtime by myself, and he will probably pout until he collapses into bed, the poor sick dear.

Things between my husband and I really have been better, which I think is why I’m so baffled (and frustrated and hurt) by our recent exchanges. I think it’s the cumulative effect of some stress at work for him, my increased responsibilities at my daughter’s school, and his parents glaring absence. They used to help us, and especially him, a lot, and they just aren’t here anymore. I suspect it’s hitting him harder than it’s hitting me (although I REALLY miss how they used to pick up our son once a week).

Whatever is going on, we’ll have to find some time this weekend to talk about it, because I don’t want things to keep being like this.