I’ve been super in the weeds this week. Thank god I gave myself the grace of doing review games and watching a movie with my 1A classes this week, because even with that I’m way, way underwater.
There is just too much going on. I’m at the dojo all the time. And it’s not the fun, away from home getting my exercise kind of dojo time. It’s the stressed out, how much do we have to know?! test prep kind. I’m realizing that one hard thing about getting ready for a belt test is that not only is martial arts causing a fair amount of stress for me, it’s also taking away my main go-to stress management tool – exercise. The kind of time I’m spending at the dojo is not emptying my brain, or raising my heart rate, or releasing endorphins. But I’m using my workout time to be at the dojo (and then some) so that means I’m never getting to empty my brain and raise my heart rate and release endorphins. I went for a run last Sunday and it felt so, so good. I’m really missing that time right now, and it’s kind of when I need it most.
Having said that, I had a moment at the last green belt class where I felt like I got it, and it was even a little fun. Usually green belt class, which is at the end of the night, is challenging and interminable, but last time I barely looked at the clock and even enjoyed myself a bit. So that is probably a good sign.
But most of the time, I’m just really stressed out. And I know it’s for something I’ve chosen to do, but it’s still hard. Work has been stressful too, because our principal is out (her father just entered hospice) and they are asking us to do a lot of coverage. We also have a ton of high school transition IEP meetings, and I’m going to a bunch because they put a lot of kids with IEPs in my classes (I teach in a way that allows kids with IEPs to be very successful, despite the more academic nature of my elective classes). So I’m giving up prep time to sub and go to meetings, which means I’m getting less done during the week when I was supposed to catch up.
This weekend is busy. It’s 8pm Friday night and I’m just leaving the dojo. I assisted in the kids’ class and then went to open mat to do test prep. Tomorrow I’m at the dojo from 11:30 to 3pm, then we’re seeing the Mario Brothers movie. Sunday morning is Easter at my parents’ house, and then maybe the Cherry Blossom festival in Japantown (though we may punt that to the next weekend).
The only reason I’m not panicking about this weekend is that I don’t have to go to work on Monday. Man am I ready for this break.
I hope you’re all getting a little break some point soon too. And some sunshine. It only rained once this week (today actually) and it was so nice to see some sun.
Sending best wishes re the DOJO and testing. Glad you have ‘spring break for you’ next week. Hope your family is well the entire week and that you get to exercise, practice, catch up, rest, plan and flat out take a break so you can make the haul to school being out for summer. You really do need the decompression time. The winter year end break was super stressful for you and I think you have been paying BIG TIME for it ever since. AND TOTALLY COULD USE SOME WARMTH this coming week. Know the rain is crucial, but am in need of some sunshine and gentle warmth too.
Happy Bunny weekend! (Have 36 hard boiled eggs for the bunny’s helpers coloring event and then the bunny will hide them!)
I think it’s really good for you to be self aware that your dojo time isn’t refreshing you the same way, so you can find other ways to find that refreshment (ideally).