I am feeling SOOOO restless lately. The fact that we’re at school this week is throwing me. It’s not just that all the assignments I’m posting on Google Classroom from last year have next week’s dates, it’s like there is something deep inside me that feels like we should be on break. Maybe my internal clocks are so linked to the academic calendar that they can sense it’s been a week too long! Maybe I’m just crazy.
I am jonsing for the break though. And I’m trying hard to figure out what exactly I am jonsing for. Do I want to sit on the couch and binge watch something? Do I want to organize? Purge? I can’t really figure it out. I need to clean up the downstairs and make the calendar. But there are a lot of days next weeks and so far the only thing on the calendar is Thanksgiving afternoon at my parents’ house. I just want to make sure I’m taking full advantage of the first break of the year. That I feel like my cup is filled at the end of it.
Of course we’ll be back at school only 2.5 weeks before the big winter break. I hate this. My schedule is so screwed. I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to manage it. I’m already so behind and only having 2.5 weeks between the breaks is going to throw all the wrenches in my plans.
Today I had some space in my evening – just an hour or so – and I didn’t know what to do with it. I felt so restless. I did comment on some blogs! I’ve been meaning to do that for so long and I finally had the time and I did it! It wasn’t enough, but it was something.
I need to start thinking about presents and buying stuff but I can’t think of a damn thing to get. I’ve checked some of my favorite money-holes and nothing is catching my eye. My kids are older and it’s so much harder to get them things. It’s probably for the best, as we could use the money and I always spend too much at this time of year. It will be GOOD if I don’t find a bunch of dumb stuff to buy. That is a positive development. And yet…
The post-election depression isn’t helping. I haven’t written about it in a while, but it’s still bumming me out (understatement of the year). I feel like there hasn’t been much written (in the major news outlets) about what an absolute dumpster fire this country has become for women, but it’s been a big focus for me and my feelings. If my 20 year old self found out where this country would be at this point, she wouldn’t believe it. 44 year old me is incredulous. I just feel so lied to. Everything we were taught was a fucking scam. It makes me sick. And fucking furious. I really do not know how to process it.
Blerg. I didn’t mean to write such a downer post. Shit is not that bad (for me). I will be fine. I’m lucky that I live in a state that is more interested in protecting my rights than the federal government. We have resources. We are not being targeted directly by this hideous administration and it’s disastrous policies. We will most likely be okay. That is not the case for so many people in this country. I know I have it better than most people.
Okay, enough politics. I thought it might make me feel better to acknowledge it, but it’s just making me more mad. It’s having the opposite affect than intended!!!!
Four more days until Thanksgiving Break. I can make it four more days.
That’s funny Noemi, because I also wrote a post about the election today, kind of like “by the way I’m still upset about this!” It does feel weird to go about regular life with that always hanging over us.
So, is it that Thanksgiving is late this year so there’s an extra week of school before break? That might explain my husband’s mood as well.
I actually started writing a little about the election and then read your post and then wrote some more and then got mad. It just sucks.
And yes it’s because Thanksgiving is so late this year that the break is a week later than usual. We even have a week of Trimester 2 before the break! Usually the break ends Trimester 1! I’m NOT a fan.
I moved to this country 20+ years ago and now I am feeling kind of scammed…
Thank you for writing about the election. I’m feeling it too. And, I also live in California so I know we’re in a better spot than many. And yet… Adding to the weight I feel of this for myself is that since I started commenting all those years ago I’ve been widowed and now have a new love and am essentially step mom to his kids (he’s a widower) His 12 year old daughter has a lot of questions about the election too, including why we can’t just leave the country. Since this was my first thought as well I don’t have good answers. Adding to all this he’s an extremely LEGAL immigrant who has been so excited to become a citizen anytime now (Thank you covid for the delays!) And now, because of my worries that’s slowing down so we have an easier place to go if need be. It’s so hard to see everything we were promised going up in smoke, and to know that our fellow citizens are responsible. I cry a lot these days.
Yes.
you said it nicely.
Hope next week is good for you and you are refreshed at it’s end.
Always: thank you for writing.
I feel you on the post-election depression, Naomi. I cannot stop thinking about what a dumpster fire this is…. and everyone carries on as if it’s the most normal thing in the world that this *excuse of a man* will go back to the White House. It’s unconscionable.
I hope you’ll enjoy your Thanksgiving break!
Noemi. I know what your name is LOL