Updates (after being away)

I wrote this yesterday but forgot to post it. Oops!

It’s a lazy Saturday morning. My son and I are not at martial arts because there is a belt test that I’m not participating in. So I’m working out on the elliptical while my daughter reads and my son works on his homework packet with his dad (yes, my kid in TK has homework ::angry red face emoji::)

It all sounds rather idyllic. And perhaps it is. But what you don’t see is the hour of meltdown that my daughter had to navigate before starting to read (she is a high reader but doesn’t want to read novels, especially in Spanish – though once she gets started she always finishes them quickly and easily (and even enjoys them!). It’s been a tough year for her in a lot of ways and I’m not always sure how to best support her. It’s hard, and it weighs on me.

Reading more about how better help to manage her ADHD has forced me to look more closely at my own experiences with ADHD. It’s bringing up some complicated feelings, to say the least. I hope to write more about it soon.

But for now, as the subject line promised, some updates:

• Terminix just did a third treatment on our tenant’s unit (a chemical treatment), as he believes he still has bed bugs. I’m almost positive that he is not following the protocols required before each treatment but what can we do? If we ask he will most assuredly lie, or say something cagey. The most important thing is to wash all his clothes on hot, and I don’t want him doing that in our washing machine (which he technically is allowed to use – yes we are idiots), so I’m not pushing it. I think he thinks that since he did that the first time he doesn’t have to do that again, but if you thought you still had bed bugs, wouldn’t you do it again? I don’t understand how his mind works. At this point we’re just waiting out the three-month warranty on the initial heat treatment to take next steps (which will definitely include us NOT offering to pay for subsequent treatments if no evidence of bed bugs is found). At this point it would be a bad idea to initiate an owner move in because he could easily sue us for doing so with malicious intent and there is a relatively new law in SF that protects tenants with bed bugs specifically so we’re just going to wait until Terminix is no longer willing to keep treating the place for free before we figure out what to do next.

• My sister-in-law is pregnant again, which took us all by surprise because her first pregnancy was uncertain and her child birth experience was relatively traumatic and she was sure she wasn’t going to have any more kids, but her son is barely one and I guess she changed her mind. My in-laws are spending all summer in Texas now, and then plan to be there indefinitely after November. It sucks to get used to them being around only to lose their support entirely for large chunks of time, but having them here sometimes is definitely better than never.

• My kids only have six more days left of school – four next week and two the following week. The fact that they end on a Tuesday is so frustrating, but luckily my husband and his parents planned a trip and will be taking our daughter to Texas to visit her aunt, uncle and cousin the Wednesday after her last day. Then my husband and son will be joining them on Friday, so they can all fly back together the following Tuesday. This means I will have the house to myself for FOUR NIGHTS. I have NEVER had the house to myself for even one night (though I’ve had many alone with my husband), as my husband does not plan trips with them without me. So this is very exciting news. I’m still in school for this stretch, so it’s not just going to be a giant party, but I’m super stoked about it none the less.

• I have 12 more days of school (we end on Wednesday, 6/12) and am feeling panicked that it won’t all get done. By the end of next week I’ll be over that feeling and won’t care if it’s not going to get done, but I’m not there yet. (I think I could be there already, in the not caring stage, but I worry if I let myself do that we won’t get anything done and I’ll go crazy. Keeping them busy and working toward a test is really the better way to play it, and I have to be motivated to do that so I let the panicky feeling have it’s way.

• My house is WAY into the HOLY SHIT IT’S SO MESSY IT’S STRESSING ME OUT place, but we’re not AirBnBing it this summer so I’m not externally motivated to clean it up, so I’m having a hard time working on it. I put the kids in camp for the week before out trip to St. Louis because I assumed we were going to AirBnb the place, so I plan to use that time to do a big purge. We also have a new storage shed in the back yard (which we bought for the initial heat treatment) that I plan to utilize for the stuff that I want to get rid of, but that other people think they still want. Hopefully it will be out of sight, out of mind, and then I can get rid of it for good.

• My husband and I are in a better place. Of course nothing has really changed, we’re just on our familiar cycle’s upswing. I know we need to do more to really change things but I’m too tired right now. Maybe after this summer I’ll have the where with all to initiate something.

• Two old friends recently announced they are pregnant after many years of TTC and IVF. I am so thrilled for them. So, so thrilled.

• My husband went out with an old friend from out of town last night who announced his wife is pregnant. Their kids are our kids ages (second one is a year older) and they had a miscarriage last fall so we were expecting the news at some point. I personally can’t imagine starting all over again with a newborn at this point – I am more and more satisfied with parenthood as I get older! but I’m happy they are getting what they want. It sounds like the husband is not super on board, but going along with his wife’s wishes (he was the one who shared the extremely lackluster comment about parenting two kids when my husband announced we were pregnant again, and it seems his attitude has not changed all that much). I hope it all works out for them. Meanwhile I am SO THANKFUL that my husband and I did not have to navigate that issue. We are both very happy with our two kids, thankyouverymuch.

• (I will also mention this was the woman who was incredibly dismissive about my miscarriage experience, and our struggle to conceive, when it happened, and evidently was totally destroyed by her own miscarriage experience, and how long it took to get pregnant after (she got pregnant immediately the first two times). I’m not sure how that makes me feel, but it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about.

• I have some new plans for this summer that I’m excited to share, but this post go long so I’ll do that next time.

I hope you all have a great long weekend!