I read a fair amount of posts disagreeing with the KonMarie method for decluttering one’s home. Some people can’t wrap their heads around choosing which items to keep based on whether or they “spark joy,” others take issue with the her folding method, still others argue you should declutter one room at a time, instead of by category, or simply take your time with whole process, instead of trying to bang it out all at once. The biggest issue people take with Marie Kondo’s philosophy is her assurance that if you do it right the first time, you shouldn’t have to do it ever again.
I understand that no one method is going to work for everybody, and I can accept when someone says that KonMarie is not for them. Having said that, I wanted to explain why the method works well enough for me, and why I continue returning to the aspects of it that were most helpful.
One thing I have noticed is that the people who are not won over by Marie Kondo’s method usually start their retort with a sentiment along the lines of, organization has always come easily to me, or clutter really drives me crazy so I’ve always kept at least my surfaces clear, if not my drawers and closets. I will start this post arguing that while I believe Marie Kondo wrote her book to help all people who want a tidier life, the intended audience is those who really struggle with managing their things. If you are someone that finds organization easy, and doesn’t struggle to keep your surfaces clear and tidy, you probably don’t need a method as drastic as KonMarie. That kind of rip-the-bandaid-off-AND-soak-the-wound-in-peroxide treatment probably feels unnecessarily painful.
As someone who has in the past, and continues now, to struggle mightily with managing her possessions, I would argue that drastic measures are many times necessary to change the mindset of people who don’t know how to manage their things. When I first picked up The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I was desperate for real and lasting change. I felt like I was drowning in stuff, and I had no idea how to take the first steps in getting rid of things. I had definitely tried tackling my house room by room, slowly and deliberately, but I had never made it all the way through the fray, and I had never gotten rid of a substantial amount of possessions to make a noticeable difference over time. I might get the top of my chest of drawers clear and keep it that way for a week, but it would eventually be pilled with crap again. I understand the adage slow and steady wins the race, but it wasn’t winning me the fight against clutter.
When I first read that I should be tidying by category and that I would need to move everything of a certain category into once space before sorting through it, I didn’t think much of it. My house is small! I reasoned, And we don’t really have closets or storage space; getting all my {insert category items here} together won’t be that hard at all. Then I got down to business and realized how wrong I was.
First up was clothes. I took everything out of my half of our IKEA wardrobe (we don’t have a closet because we sleep in what is supposed to be the living room), and my three drawers. I also grabbed the few dresses hanging in my daughter’s closet, and all my jackets, sweaters and sweatshirts in the entry closet and wall hangers. At this point I was astounded by how many items of clothing I had, and I hadn’t even emptied the plastic drawers in my daughter’s closet and under my bed that housed all my seasonal wear. When I was finally done, the mound of clothing on my bed was totally overwhelming. I couldn’t believe how many individual items of clothing I had. I was astounded, and embarrassed. I recognized immediately that no one human being needed that many clothes, and that recognition helped me get rid of way more clothing that I would have if I had tackled my clothing space by space.
It was at this point that I had to wrap my head around the idea of an item sparking joy. With some items I knew immediately whether they did or didn’t spark joy, but the for the vast majority of my stuff I wasn’t so sure. My “does this spark joy” identifier felt kind of useless, but I plunged ahead anyway and sure enough, the longer I asked myself the question, the better equipped I felt at answering it. For sure, in that first attempt at KonMarie-ing my house, I kept things that I eventually gave away, but the mistakes I made didn’t render the effort null and void. Now I recognize when something no longer sparks joy without even asking myself. It’s just part of my relationship with my things. I have marveled many times at how a piece of clothing I once adored just doesn’t do it for me anymore, not because my body changed, or the style is not longer “in” but just because I didn’t really love it anymore.
The same went for books, then paper, then “komodo” (everything else). Moving everything from one category into one space, and seeing it together (usually in toppling piles all over my living room floor), absolutely helped me put the magnitude of my possessions in perspective and helped me make the hard choices about what to give away.
I also felt doing the first major push all at once, over three days was absolutely worth it. As I moved from category to category I gained momentum instead of losing stamina. Seeing how many clothes I was getting rid of made me excited to tackle books later that day. I actually took two full days off of work, and my husband took one, which might seem excessive to people who disagree with the method, but which was absolutely necessary for me to make the progress I wanted, dare I say needed.
I remember there are steps to take after KonMarie-ing your house that will ensure you don’t need to do it again. Every item is supposed to have a place and you are supposed to return that item to that place every time you use it. You are also supposed to continue removing items that no longer spark joy. And while I see the logic in the approach, and recognize that if a person were to do that, it would not be necessary to KonMarie one’s house again, I don’t think it’s a very realistic expectation. Having said that, I do think that the changes I made a few years ago have made a lasting enough impression for me
My first attempt at KonMarie-ing my house was a while back. And it’s true that I haven’t felt the need to follow the steps like that again. I may not put everything back immediately after I use it, but everything does have a place and it’s easier for me to tidy now that it once was (once, it was truly paralyzing). I am also constantly making value judgements about my stuff, subconsciously, and removing things as needed. I keep a bag of clothing I’m going to donate by my door at all times and items from everyone’s closets and drawers are dropped in there almost daily. I grab a book or two to donate out of the bookshelf almost every time I go to grab something to read. I am much more likely to identify which new items that come into the house will be worthwhile, and less likely to keep the things that don’t spark joy. The method really has changed my relationship with things.
That is not to say I have been cured of the disorganization that has plagued me my whole life. My home is still more cluttered than I’d like it to be and my classroom (most notably my desk) is especially so. But it rarely feels like things are out of control anymore. It all feels manageable, which for an ADHD, organizational-challenged individual like myself, is a real testament.
Have you tried Marie Kondo’s method? How do you tackle the clutter in your life?
I am someone who is not naturally neat and organized, and like you, when I first read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, it was like a revelation to me. By then, I had already tried a few other decluttering methods without success.
Due to time constraints, I didn’t immediately jump in and starting the KonMari method, but I did eventually. At first, I had a hard time determining what clothes “sparked joy” for me, but now I get it. I have KonMari’d my clothes, and continue to cull periodically, and they have stayed pretty organized for a few years. Ditto for books.
Where I get hung up each time I attempt to KonMari is the Papers category. I have so many old papers (going back nearly twenty years) that I need to sort through, and I know that a lot of important ones and junk are mixed in with sentimental items (like letters, cards and photos).
Currently I am feeling newly inspired and am setting aside a half-day later in the month to gather everything into one place to sort the sentimental from the non-sentimental, with the goal of tossing the junk and identifying the important papers while I do it. I will then put the sentimental items aside to be dealt with later and probably set aside another (shorter) time to organize the important papers I need to keep. Which honestly won’t be many.
You did such a good job of being clear how and why the system works for you and the process of learning you went through. The seeing in one mass is instructive and educational by it’s self.
I have always like organizational structures and books; perhaps because I am not good at regular consistent routines. But I dislike clutter and chaos. Perhaps from having been married to a hoarder. Since I became single I have always sought to own less every year. I also moved houses 4 times in the first 5 years of being a single mom & had slightly less than 1/2 of a house of furnishing. That really pushes owning less because each box to pack, lift and move, and then unpack becomes VERY concrete … like K.M.’s pile of all clothes in one room.
Being the executor for other people is instructive because most of us do not want to leave problems for our children. My parents were neat, organized and NOT hoarders. And it was still major work. I also listened to my peers why did X keep this, what do we do with K, who wants a set of Spode Christmas dishes that cannot go through the dishwasher and is used once or twice a year and then needs storage in WHAT SPACE?!
Life styles keep changing and space shrinking. Double income families do not have the time and cannot afford the space to live with the possessions of prior generations and also do not have the energy such material belongings take. Change then occurs; entertaining people changes, the time children spend in their homes changes when they go to day care centers or activities out of the house.
What you wrote about learning from practice what ‘sparking joy’ means and how that can change over time is, I think, a big key to managing belongings. I routinely, each year go through every room and every drawer and consider what my children would toss, or what they need not become responsible for re-housing. I do it because I love them and they are SO BUSY and I do not want to be a burden.
Being very clear about need versus want, being fixed income, living alone ~ also reduces inflows.
Hopefully I answered your question a bit. It was a grand post and wonderful question. I hope there are lots of answers!!!
Oh, I love this post! Yours inspiring me. I’ve lived in the same house for 25 years, and it severely needs decluttering, mainly because 25 years is a long time. I can keep things generally tidy and organised, and periodically declutter clothes, but I never do quite enough. Some years ago I heard about the principle of keeping only the things that bring you joy – it’s not a new idea – and I have used that. But not always for clothes, and never for books. I want to try it for books! But papers – I can’t imagine sorting papers on that principle. (Perhaps it is obvious now I haven’t read the book. Lol)
I’m so late to the party on this, and I just started reading the companion book to her first book. I started the first book and realized that yeah, I’m one of the already-pretty-organized people and really I just need a how-to to get going. I haven’t done the initial discarding (like you, I’m going to have to take time off work to focus on it), but I’m pretty excited about finding the time to do it soon! I’m also recognizing the further I get into her book the changes that I need to make around the house, such as paint colors. I hate the paint colors that run throughout our house and even though I insisted that we were going to hire painters to paint all the interior once we moved in (having been dragged down by the amount of painting we did to sell our old house), it hasn’t happened. Reading and beginning to recognize the things that spark joy has re-invigorated my need to change the damn wall colors.