Not a Wasted Word

Thank you all for your comments on my last post. We still haven’t had our follow up conversation, but I shared an ideal week template with my husband and suggested we each come to the table with what we’d ideally like our weeks to look like, so we can hopefully find a compromise that satisfies both of us. I’m hoping that will keep the conversation productive, and prevent it from spiraling into animosity. The last thing I want to do is rehash old resentments (something I’m prone to doing), which will not help us move forward. I promise I will update once we’ve talked about it more.

In the meantime, and in an attempt to stay positive, here are some things I’m either enjoying, or looking forward to.

Enjoying

Pumpkin flavored things. My husband went to TJ’s last weekend and got ALL the pumpkin stuff I love. I’ve been eating pumpkin brioche with pumpkin cream cheese, and I just made pumpkin pancakes. There is other pumpkin stuff in our cupboard and I love it all. My love of pumpkin stuff is definitely not of the caliber of some people, but it used to be and I still enjoy it quite a bit. I’m happy there is more pumpkin flavor in my immediate future.

Cooler weather. It still is not properly cool, but I will take mid-70’s over mid-90’s any day. Every time I feel a cool breeze on my face I feel giddy. I just hope it starts to feel like fall soon.

Great America. I took the kids to Great America today and the lines were short and we got on a ton of big rides with almost no wait time. My son rode my favorite roller coaster (Flight Deck – formally Top Gun) for the first time, and in the front row (the only way to ride it) and he loved it. My parents joined us for the final hour and a half and then took the kids back to their place.

Looking forward to

Date night with my husband. My parents took the kids so we could enjoy a date night. We need to reconnect and enjoy ourselves. And I think if we do that before our big convo, we’ll be better able to really hear each other and be open minded about each other’s requests. We’re also seeing a band I loved in college, which is a last minute addition to the night and one I’m thrilled about.

My son’s birthday being over. Kind of a cop out since it’s a gripe wrapped in a “looking forward to,” but it’s a week from Tuesday and by then the family birthday, the friend party and the managing his emotions about it all, will be over. I’m very much looking forward to getting his birthday out of my brain.

Day of the Dead + Halloween. I’m already teaching Day of the Dead at school and it’s been a lot of fun. I love the holiday and I love teaching my students about it. I wish the dominant US culture made space for remembering people who have died in a celebratory way. I’m grateful this holiday has made space for that in my life.

As for Halloween, I’m a little anxious about managing the actual day (and the prep leading up to it), myself, but I still am looking forward to it. I love the decorations and the costumes. We did my daughter’s costume cheap (we dyed last year’s Clueless skirt dark green, she’s borrowing a top from my mom and found a jacket at a thrift store), my Minion costume was very reasonable (that is what we’re being at school) and hopefully my son’s Deadpool costume will come in time (I def shit the bed on this one – I’m annoyed at myself – but I do believe it’s more likely to arrive on time than not.)

My new (to me) Peloton bike. Holy shit getting it in my car was a shit show. But we managed it (it stuck out the back of the trunk and was held in by my bike rack), and driving home from that side of the city on a Friday at 6pm was excruciating, but it’s at the house and it works and I’m so excited to try it. I got pedals that have both clips and toe cages and they came today, so I’ll be able to try it tomorrow (I have clip shoes, but they are at my parents’ house). It’s a really sleek machine and is sooooo much smoother to ride than my $200 stationary bike. I can’t wait to know what my resistance is! And my output! I’m very much looking forward to taking my first official Bike Boot Camp class tomorrow.

Do you have a three day weekend? What are you enjoying and looking forward to right now.

October has not offered the relief I was hoping for, and earlier this week I kind of lost it. I cried. My husband and I had a fight. Two in fact. It sucked. I felt really despondent.

I tried to identify why things kept feeling impossible. I wondered when things were going to get better. My husband suggested that amount of exercise I’m attempting, and my commitment to the dojo specifically, were untenable. I’m actually really glad he brought that up because I’ve been feeling like he thought that way, but instead of raising the subject, he would just passive aggressively sulk around. And I’ve determined that being at the dojo four hours every Saturday (three hours + 30 mins on the bus/getting ready on either side), and then taking my son somewhere (with our without his friends) for most of Sunday so I could “give my husband back that time,” was part of the problem, because it wasn’t leaving me any time or space to get shit done around the house on the weekends. Now, at least, he has to admit that it’s a problem, so we can talk about possible solutions. That is definitely a step in the right direction.

I definitely feel some resentment, because I don’t feel like the time I spend exercising, including the dojo, is any more than the majority of the women I read (who prioritize exercise), and yet none of them seem to have issues at home with it. And it has always, ALWAYS, added stress to my marriage, because I’ve always assumed it was too much, and gone out of my way to “give back” that time, even though my husband has had various GIANT personal time commitments over the years and he NEVER tried to make space for me and my needs. I have to leave the house to get space. I take the kids away to give him space. They are two totally different things.

We still need to have an actual conversation about it. I am trying to figure out my talking points. I have historically hated this conversation because I swear he would gaslight me about his expectations, saying I was assuming he needed time when he didn’t, but then as soon as I took time and didn’t immediately reimburse him for it, he would get sulky and withdrawn.

And that is part of what pissed me off this week. He keeps asking how he can help more, since I’ve been so unhappy and overwhelmed, going so far as to suggest renting ZipCars to take the kids to appointments in the afternoon (something he would never do), and I was like, I just want to be able to be at the dojo one weekday evening and for a long stint on Saturday and not feel like I need to repay that time, and he was like that’s fine! And then 48 hours later he was sulking all over the house after I got back from my Tuesday classes. So I’m glad he finally just said it, or asked the question, have you ever considered that your commitment to exercise, and the dojo is untenable? And I asked if he meant for me or for him/our family and he hasn’t answered that for me yet.

Because I guess, if I have to “repay” that time, it is too much. But should I have to? I really don’t know. I have always done so much with the kids on the weekends, since they were little, and he rarely joins us. And when he plans things the assumption is the whole family will attend. And sometimes I don’t go, but because we’ve created this dynamic it feels like my absence on his outings is “noticed” in ways his absence on my outings is not (because he has never come).

I’m definitely going to start making sure my exercising at home happens before he gets home. That can be really hard, but I can make it work. I wish I were like those people who write that they wake up at 6am and are running by 6:10am (do they have a time turner?!), but I’m getting better at getting home and getting started within 30 minutes. Now that I don’t have to take my daughter to swimming or even pick up my son from aftercare, this absolutely is possible enough days of the week. Maybe if I can actually make this happen, he’ll be more accommodating of my dojo commitments.

And I recognize that a lot of weird shit happened in the past six weeks, stuff that wouldn’t regularly impact our routines. I hurt my shoulder (a mild sprain, but it upended my dojo time for sure), I had Covid, my husband went out of town, my son had a giant school-adjacent camping trip, my daughter got sick, a massive, historic nine-day heat wave hit, my car became infested with ants (requiring a several-hour deep clean on a weekend night), my classroom became infested with ants (making me lose my GD mind), our downstairs fridge stopped being cold (which prompted me to spend an hour on Monday fixing the door, which didn’t fix it, two hours on Tuesday cleaning the condenser coils (which also didn’t fix it), and three hours on Wednesday defrosting the evaporator cells behind the freezer (which did fix it, but it might only be temporary because the appliance repair guy (who I actually like very much), says that shouldn’t happen unless something else is faulty (I’m hoping it was the broken door, which wasn’t sealing properly for several weeks, that caused them to frost over so badly, and not a faulty part).

It really does feel like thing after thing keeps coming and they are all stressful because there isn’t much I can do to fix any of them, and I hate feeling out of control. That kind of barrage of circumstances out of my control have really thrown me for a loop (the nine-day heat wave broke me, it really did), so maybe things will settle down and I’ll feel better?

Except there is so much coming at me right now. My son’s birthday party is next Sunday and I only just invited the last person today. My daughter has her first Homecoming next Friday, and they both need help buying/making their Halloween costumes. We need to invite the grandparents over for Son’s birthday party, but we can’t do that the weekend before because of Daughter’s HoCo (as she calls it). I hate having the grandparents over on a weeknight, but his birthday is Tuesday, so we’ll probably have them then. Then my husband is out of town again, starting the 27th, for a work conference in Dubai (which means I’ll be navigating Halloween night alone). Do you think he’s brainstorming ways to repay me for that time? Ha!

{To be clear, I don’t expect that for a work trip, but I can promise you that I was not afforded any “go to teh dojo as much as you want” messaging after he came back from a six day trip with his friend in September.}

I just feel like I’m drowning. And whenever I think it will get better, life throws me something else.

I honestly thought this year was going to be so much easier. The amount of time I’m spending in the car has decreased dramatically. And yet I’m still feeling totally underwater. I don’t know how to dig myself out of this hole.

And yes, I know my husband’s years-long, high functioning depression, is also a big part of this, but he has not been open to conversations about that, so I don’t want to bring it up unless I absolutely have to.

Which maybe I do… he’s gotten to a place where it’s not as pronounced as it was, but I feel like it surely must be affecting his mood and outlook, but we’ve been in it so long we don’t fully recognize it any more. It definitely complicates things, but if he says it’s no longer an issue, then I’m going to make decisions assuming he can manage life, and then if there is fallout, because he can’t (because it still is an issue), we’ll have that convo later.

And now it’s late and I either press publish or don’t so I’m just going to do it. TGIF tomorrow for real.

In fact, it feels like the hottest possible summer…in the desert. Because even the summer is not hot here, especially not as hot as it has been.

Because it’s been IN THE 90s, even in the city, almost all of this week.

It’s literally NEVER in the 90s in San Francisco. I really cannot express vehemently enough how weird this weather is. Especially for October.

My classroom, like much of my school, has no AC. It’s been in the mid- to high-80s in my room for the better part of the school days. It’s miserable teaching in that kind of heat, though I know many teachers have it worse.

Tuesday was the hottest day. Today was about 3-5 degrees better. Tomorrow is supposed to be a little better still. Let’s hope so because tomorrow I have no prep and with 30+ adolescent bodies in my room all day, it will get really hot really hast.

I was supposed to go to the dojo yesterday and today but didn’t make it either time. Yesterday I was already considering skipping because the dojo is on the third floor of a building in the hottest neighborhood of the city and I knew it would be brutally hot in there. Then, on the way home from my chiropractor appointment, I took a drink from my YETI cup and only AFTER realized it was SWARMING with ants. I’ve never had ants in my cat but I guess the heat and dryness sent them searching for water. There was definitely other food debris in there that might have initially enticed them, so I promptly emptied the whole car and vacuumed and cleaned it out like I’ve never done before. It literally has never been this clean since we drove it off the lot.

And I couldn’t stand how dirty the outside was when the inside looked pristine, so I used the last rays of daylight to clean the exterior too.

Today my daughter had a dentist appointment and they decided to fill her cavity AND do the sealants we had scheduled for another visit so she was there two hours. Luckily the dojo closed from of heat, because I would have missed it anyway. Also luckily the books my new chiropractor (whom I loved) recommended came, so I had them to read during the two hours. For the first time in a long time, I actually believe I might be able to avoid a lifetime of lower back pain (more on this later).

After her dentist appointment I took my daughter to In-n-Out, where we had a good conversation about many things that have been on her mind lately. The start to high school has been rocky, but she’s handling it really well. It was good to chat with her about a couple issues that had been bugging her. I really appreciate that she still wants to talk to me.

I got my son’s birthday party invite done this morning, and that’s been on my radar for a while. Tomorrow I plan to send it out. I also backed up my work computer and they brought me a new one, which is lovely to use. My old one was overheating constantly, and turning itself off regularly, so it’s really nice to have a new machine.

My husband came back Monday and it’s been… up and down. I’m realizing that I’m pretty unhappy with a lot of my home life right now, which doesn’t leave a lot of space for me to coddle him when he’s feeling down. I’m not quite sure how it’s all going to play out.

Finally, my stationary bike is busted. It’s been knocking a lot and I tried to tighten some stuff and realized I overtightened one bolt and broke the piece it is attached to. I am looking at used Peloton bikes, but if I got one I’d have to change my subscription to the higher level which costs twice as much. It’s still only $25ish (I think?), but that is not nothing when you’re paying monthly. Still, I use it enough that I think it will be worthwhile. Mostly I’m just worried I’ll pay for a used bike and it will break on me like the one I already have. I can’t imagine paying someone to fix a broken Peloton bike will be cheap…

Here’s top hoping the rest of October is a lot less extraordinary than the first two days. So far this is not the October I was hoping for.

Thank all that is good in this world that September is over tomorrow. For real, I am not at all sad to see it go.

October will certainly not be a panacea for me, but it has to be better than September. I just put October on the kitchen whiteboard calendar and promptly realized I scheduled my son’s birthday at Dave & Buster’s for the same Sunday I’m supposed to be taking my daughter to see Charli XCX (all the face palms), so there will be some intense days. But I am looking forward to quite a few things, including Halloween. (I remembered to take my Halloween themed leggings out of the shed today! Hooray!)

Also, I’m see the new chiropractor on Tuesday, October 1st, which feels like a good omen. Maybe I can make October more about self care.

Honestly, I’m so relieved that we’re home from the camping trip, and most of the stuff is already put away. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted. The trip itself was fine. It was totally overwhelming and I kept to myself more than most adults there, but I managed to get through it in one piece. And my son had a great time, which was the whole point of it.

My husband kept expressing confusion about why I was dreading this weekend so much. I’m pretty sure he didn’t get it because I am ALWAYS the one who packs and unpacks camping trips. He has no real understanding of how hard it is to manage that during a regular week or work, when laundry still needs to get done and meals need to be made and dishes need to be washed. His main responsibility at home is adult meals, which means that when time is tight, he can fall back on leftovers and ordering out. But there is no way to skimp on the laundry – it all eventually needs to get done. And while I can delay cleaning up, eventually I have to do it, and if it’s been a long time since the last time I cleaned, it takes longer when I finally get around to cleaning. I think he just doesn’t understand, fundamentally, what its like to just still have to do shit even when you’re away all weekend. Or what it’s like to have to do SO MUCH MORE than normal for a weekend.

But I did it! I packed us and I set us up there and I packed us to come back home and then I put everything away. All the sleeping bags, sleeping mats, and the tent are back in their plastic bags in the shed (I worry they will grow mold if they aren’t protected from the damp). The sheets from my husband’s couch bed last week, and the blow up camping mattress, are washed. I have two more loads ready to go in later today. I did a great job packing food so there was nothing left in the cooler when we came home, and only left over s’mores fixings in the food bag. I’m so glad I didn’t buy extra of anything. We had exactly what we needed.

And right now we have NO camping trips planned! Hooray! I’m so ready to take a break from camping.

I was remembering that this time last year we were coming back from this camping trip and getting ready for our trip to Universal Studios two weeks later. I’m so thankful we are not going anywhere for the October long weekend. I might take the kids to Great America for Fright Fest that Sunday, but otherwise we’ll be home.

My son’s birthday is the next weekend. He requested Dave & Busters and I was happy to fork over several hundred dollars and basically all of the responsibility. We had his birthday there two years ago and it was really easy. I am kind of thrilled he wants to have it there again. A birthday there is so easy, that I really do think I can manage the Charli XCX show afterward. And if I can’t, my husband will go.

What else to mention… Oh I got some wide leg jeans (on sale) from Gap with my Gap Cash last week. Both pairs are low cut and fit me well around the waist. The darker pair is too long – they only had my size in “Tall” but I have several pairs of shoes I can wear with them. The lighter pair are the right length but I worry they will stretch in the waist when I wear them. We shall see. It’s a trip to wear wide leg jeans after nothing but skinny jeans for so many years (like six years?!), but I like them. I also got some new bras, which I really needed it. I hope they hold up. (Everything was on sale before the Gap Cash, so I didn’t spend much on any of it).

I got my tests graded yesterday, at the camping trip. It took A LONG time to finish them all, and I’m glad I wasn’t using normal weekend hours to score them. I walked up to the visitor’s center and jumped on the WiFi to download some dumb stuff on Netflix to “watch” while I was grading. It definitely helped pass the time.

I meant to write more but now it’s late and I should probably just post this. I am showered, all the beds have clean sheets, and I’m so looking forward to crawling into my own bed and passing out. Yes. Please.

Guess who just got booted from the “only had Covid once” club?! Yep! It’s me!

Boooooo!

Here are some thoughts on having Covid a second time, two years after my first time and 4.5 years after the initial lock down.

5 days in the symptom timeline

• Monday my throat was twingy but I really thought it could be allergies or something else. By the evening I still wasn’t sure, but still went to the Pulp concert and drank and danced and had a great time, because I felt pretty much fine. Monday night I could not sleep at all and by Tuesday morning I felt pretty awful.
• Tuesday I tested positive for Covid immediately. Like the minute the liquid hit the test line it was bright pink. I put on a mask, opened the windows and let my husband know. I also put in for a sub. Then I made the kids’ lunches and headed to work, so I could get ready for said sub. I spent an hour in my car in the parking lot finalizing sub plans, then made some copies, dropped them off and headed home. I felt pretty bad on Tuesday – no fever but lots of body aches and shivering then sweating. It wasn’t great. I was surprised that night to realize I probably wouldn’t feel well enough to go to school again on Wednesday, so I put in for another sub and wrote sub plans and posted work on google classroom. Luckily, Wednesday is my light day so it wasn’t that hard to pull stuff together.
• Wednesday I felt pretty bad in the morning – more body aches and sweating then shivering. I took three short naps, which is unheard of for me, even when sick. I was freaking out that I’d have to take yet another day off (Thursdays are impossible days for me to be out), but by 3pm I started feeling better. I had been isolating downstairs, but my husband had to stay at work and then go to Daughter’s Back-to-School-Night, so Son was going to be upstairs alone for a LONG period of time, so I came up with a mask on and we watched a movie together from far ends of the living room (with the windows open and the air purifier near me cranking).
• Thursday I went back to work with a mask on. I felt pretty decent all day, despite no breaks (not even for lunch because I had to recruit kids for yearbook during the Club Fair). By the time I got home I was pretty exhausted.
• Friday has been much of the same. I honestly feel pretty much fine at this point. I have a little bit of a stuffy nose, and light cough, but most of the colds I’ve had in the past two years were worse than this on day four.

5 Reasons I really don’t like wearing a mask

I know some people still wear masks out in the world, but I was so happy when that stopped being required. I really dislike wearing a mask, and these are five reasons why.

• They hurt my ears. Even though I wear a strap that holds the back of the ear straps off my ears, they still hurt my ears and eventually give me a headache. I have never found a mask that is effective and doesn’t make my head hurt.
• I can’t wear my glasses. I know people have figured out how to do this, but I have not. I can’t wear contact lenses, so when I’m wearing a mask I really struggle to see. This is especially difficult at work.
• It makes my eyes hurt. Even when I manage to get a good fit on my mask, the air that escapes by my eyes makes my eyes dry and painful. At the end of the day of wearing a mask my eyes actually ache. Like I want to massage them. It’s awful.
• My face breaks out. It broke out before I had rosacea. Now that I have rosacea, it’s even worse.
• It’s so hard to be heard in a mask. Teaching in a mask sucks. It’s the worst. The kids can’t hear me and if they can hear me they can’t really understand me. Teaching a foreign language in a mask is an exercise in futility. Truly, there is nothing I dislike more than trying to teach in a mask.

5 ways having Covid was different this time (two years later)

• The first time I had Covid I had to stay home for 10 days or until I tested negative. I tested positive first (in my family), on a Saturday morning. I believe I tested negative on day nine so I was able to go back to work a day “early.” I missed six work days, and my friend was able to sub for me the entire time (this was HUGE and kept me from losing my mind). The days I missed did not come out of my regular sick leave, they were paid for by the district (through the state I believe).
• This time I missed two days of school, but only because my symptoms required I stay home. Those days will come out of my regular sick leave. I was allowed to come back after that, and I believe it was only “recommended” that I wear a mask. Of course I’m doing that, because it’s what I would want my students to do if they were at school with Covid. If I’m symptom free on Monday, I will probably not be wearing a mask, even if I’m still testing faintly positive. I will keep the air purifier running and the doors and windows open though.
• Last time we totally sequestered ourselves and didn’t go anywhere while we were sick. This time I have taken my son to the dojo and school (with a mask on). Today I’ll probably go shopping while he’s at the dojo, because I was supposed to go earlier this week and we really need food.
• Last time we felt weird telling people we had just had Covid. This time I’m telling all my classes that I’m wearing a mask because I have it. Kids have come up to ask me about it and I’ve told them and it’s fine. The stigma seems to be gone, at least in this community.
• The last two times one of us have had Covid (my husband in June 2023 and me now), we were about to travel (June 2023) or someone is about to travel (my husband next week), so we have isolated the person who has it. I wonder if the next time someone in our family has it, if we’ll bother doing that at all. It’s so hard on the parent who isn’t isolating, I’m just not sure it’s worth it anymore.

5 Covid data points for our family

• We all have had all the vaccinations and boosters available to us, except for the most recent booster, which we were planning to get tomorrow. Husband and kids are still planning on getting it tomorrow, as no one seems to have gotten it from me yet.
• We all had Covid (at basically the same time) in early May of 2022. The immunity that bout provided allowed us to travel to St. Louis, London and Hawaii that summer without getting sick again, despite many close contact situations.
• Daughter had Covid in February of 2023. She had a gnarly cough and we didn’t test her, but instead all went to a small cabin in the snow for the weekend. I ended up sleeping between my kids in a queen bed for two nights, while my daughter basically coughed straight into my open mouth and I didn’t get it. We were all in the car together for long stretches, recycling the air (because it was cold) and no one else got it. We tested her when we got home, before she was supposed to go back to school, and realized she had Covid. I’m still shocked none of us got it from her. Transmission really makes no sense to me.
• Husband got Covid in June of 2023, right before our trip to St. Louis. Again, no one in our family got it from him.
• Son has only tested positive that first time in May of 2022.

5 reactions I’ve had this time around

• Shocked. I have to admit, when the test turned positive so fast I was shocked. I’ve had so many colds in the past two years and I’ve tested every time and they were all negative. To finally test positive again really threw me for a loop.
• Guilty. I felt stupid for not testing the night before and felt bad when I texted all my friends to tell them I tested positive that morning. None of them were upset, but still, I felt like a jerk, even though I really didn’t realize I was sick Monday evening.
• Grateful. At the same time that I felt bad for being near my friends, I was so grateful that I got to see them and hang out. I haven’t seen these high school friends in YEARS and we had such a nice time catching up. The concert was amazing and I’m so glad I got to see Pulp live one last time.
• Nervous. I’ve been nervous all week that my husband (who has a trip next week) or my son (who has a camping trip next weekend) will start feeling sick. I would feel AWFUL if either of them had to miss out on their special plans because I gave them Covid.
• Frustrated. I have been meaning to get the booster for a couple of weeks, but kept pushing it back. If I had gotten it, maybe I wouldn’t have felt as sick, or even tested positive. I know I’m so lucky that our symptoms have always been mild and my family has not suffered any long lasting negative health outcomes from our exposures to Covid. Still, it sucks to be dealing with a sickness that still blows up your life so much more intensely than other random viruses. I just wish I could have avoided it all a little longer.

Gah! I did not mean to be away so long. I even took pictures for a “photo every hour” post on Saturday but then I had no time to put it together. I drafted a “seven on Sunday” post in my head but that also failed to materialize. I’ve been so slammed that the choices have been “sleep or blog” and of course I always pick sleep. I guess my first silver lining will be that I have been able to sleep. I never take that for granted.

Right now I’m on the bus, hoping I can get a post written on my phone before my stop in 15-20 mins. It’s a post about silver linings, which I’ve been trying to identify lately when things don’t go as planned. {UPDATE: Trying to finish this on the bus again Wednesday (I started it Tuesday). Wish me luck!}

On Friday I meticulously packed up my expandable folder with my two 1B class’s assessments and then left said expandable folder on the counter by my desk. I noticed when I got home, and realized I had to drive back down that evening to get them, because the alarm system isn’t working right on the weekends. So I dropped Son at the dojo and booked it back to school (my husband offered to pick him up for me.) Driving all the way back to work at 5pm truly sucked, but there were two silver linings. 1: I was inspired to see if Listen for the Lie was available for the drive and it was and I started listening to it and loved it. 2: I was guaranteed to grade the tests after I spent all the time going back to get them.

I ended up finishing the audiobook by Sunday afternoon AND I graded the Listening Reading, and Writing portions of both class’s assessments. Woot!

Saturday I took a rest from the dojo to let my shoulder heal, but there weren’t many classes because of a big party later that evening. I was able to take my son to swimming and give my husband some much needed rest (he wasn’t feeling great).

Saturday my stationary bike was knocking and squeaking and it was driving me crazy, but I Tunde had put up a Bike Bootcamp 50/50 class that started on the bike, then spent the whole second half of the class on the floor (usually you go back to the bike), which was exactly what I needed to the workout I had planned for myself. It was literally the first bootcamp programed that way, and it allowed me to avoid my noisy bike and get in the workout I wanted. (I really liked it too).

Sunday I missed two buses and was running for a third to meet my friends at a movie theater when they passed me in their car. They were also running late (that’s why I was on the bus and not with them originally), and I’m so glad they saw me and called my name so I could ride with them.

Tuesday I had my sports medicine appointment for my shoulder. It has been feeling much better, and I probably would have cancelled it except I wanted to meet the new doctor and also talk about my back (to let her know I would make another appointment for that – I was not trying to double dip). But when she walked in, I immediately saw she was very pregnant and knew she would not be available for another appointment in the future. I was super bummed out, but it spurred me to finally make an appointment with a new chiropractor (who also does Active Release Technique – ART) that comes highly recommended by a friend. The reality is I needed to just make that appointment anyway, and if I hadn’t felt like the Kaiser appt was a dead end I probably wouldn’t have done it (she is super expensive, but at this point I just need to commit).

Finally, and this one might seem silly but I swear it’s not. The other night my husband went to bed super early which meant I didn’t get to use the whole bed for my accupressure mat. There isn’t enough space on my side to lie down with my legs straight, so I had to prop my feet up and together on the pillows, which opened my hips more and provided them with a deeper release. I never would have tried that if I didn’t have to make do on my side of the bed; and now I’m releasing my hips that way most evenings.

Bonus dumb luck: I wasn’t sure I should stay for sparring last night but I did and my shoulder felt fine AND on the way out my friend casually mentioned I was teaching the Teens class the next day, which I did NOT have on my calendar. If I hadn’t stayed she wouldn’t have mentioned it and I would have missed it and been MORTIFIED. I’m so glad I stayed and she said something. (I have since checked the schedule and added all the classes I am teaching to my calendar.)

And I made it to the end of this post, as I walk up the block to my house! Hooray!

Oh how I needed a three day weekend! I am so, so grateful we had today off.

It honestly felt even longer than a “long weekend” because we got out at 1pm on Friday, and I ran and hit up Costco before I got home, and then got to stay home because my son didn’t go to the dojo that day. By Sunday afternoon it already felt like a luxurious amount of time away. Today was the cherry on top.

Saturday morning I was at the dojo early to lead warm ups for the adult general class. I was supposed to teach the teens class but there was a kids test going on, which means we didn’t have enough mats for the two other classes, so the teens were invited to the adult class. I was not sad to miss teaching and gratefully took over the 30 minute warm up instead. I stayed for sparring, which was super fun (all blue belts and above!), but definitely exaggerated my shoulder injury. It both looked, and felt, worse after sparring, so I skipped the other two classes and went home. I also decided I won’t go back to sparring until I’ve been seen (next Tuesday) at the sports medicine department. (Update: my shoulder feels a lot better today. I’m still going to skip sparring until I see someone, but I’m less worried than I was yesterday.)

The other reason I skipped the two later classes was because my husband needed a couple hours of coverage before he took our son (and his friend) to the Giant’s game. Son and I walked to Grocery Outlet to buy some cheap snacks for the baseball game. It was a great way to kill 1.5 hours – the weather was beautiful and we talked a lot!

They left around 4pm and I started watching The Fall Guy (Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt) while I worked on that planning document for work. I got through a lot of the movie (and finished half of the document) before I had to pick up my daughter and her two friends and bring them to our house. My intention was for them to have free reign of the upstairs since Son and Husband were gone, but they ended up staying in Daughter’s room painting the whole time. This meant I got to finish the movie (and almost 3/4s of the planning document!) and start watching something else. I meant to finish that planning document today, but it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe this evening… (I’m thrilled with the progress I made so far, so I’m not complaining).

By the time Son and Husband got home – and I had taken Daughter’s friend’s home – we were all pretty wiped. Husband and I hung out a bit, but didn’t try to watch something. It was nice to have that time with him.

Sunday I took both kids to meet my parents at Great America for the last weekend of the water park. The weather wasn’t super warm (76* and very breezy), so we didn’t do a ton, but we had a good time and, most importantly, we killed eight hours of the day. That was the main purpose of the trip, and it absolutely delivered on that.

By the time we got home there were only a couple hours until kid bedtime. I did a little workout (because I had to shower anyway) and then put Son to bed. Daughter came out as Husband was putting on some weird movie that I was less into than Daughter, so we decided to watch it today with the whole family. I’m really curious to see what we all think. It looked SUPER strange when we started it.

Instead of that movie, Husband and I watched something else, which was fine. We’ve been struggling to choose movies because all the ones we want to watch are 2.5+ hours long and we never have that kind of time after both kids are in bed. I wish we had a show to watch right now…

Today (Monday), I decided it was time to tackle the clutter that has been accumulating all over the house. I spent several hours picking up, and while I was not very efficient in my efforts, the house does look better. Our bedroom unit especially is improved, which I appreciate because it was starting to stress me out. I had shit out from the very first camping trip in mid-June sitting around downstairs, and pretty much every surface was covered. I hate when our room looks that way, so I’m glad I took the time to declutter that space. Both kids’ rooms look better too, even if they could use more work.

Husband and I had a long talk about the kids’ college contributions and upped both so that we’ll hopefully have two full years of UC tuition + room/board saved for each kid before they start. (State schools are cheaper than UCs, but room/board in California dwarfs both in terms of cost).

We also looked at September, which is a very busy month for us, and added a bunch of events to the kitchen white board calendar. There are some fun things – we’re seeing Pulp in a couple weeks! – and some less fun things (I’ll be the only parent attending Son’s school camping trip the last weekend of the month, because Husband will be out of town).

September’s photos are of our trip to Universal Studios last October and I’ve been thinking about how I vowed to travel way less this year. I definitely don’t want to go anywhere in the fall, as our summer travel just happened, but I do wonder if by November I’ll want something to look forward to. Maybe a long weekend to the snow would fit the bill. I absolutely believe I need to do less in terms of travel this year, but I also know I need something to look forward to. Maybe just I can go somewhere, since my husband is traveling some again this year (not as much as last year, thank goodness). It’s something I’ll be thinking about for winter or spring…

And my time on the elliptical is over, so I need to sign off. I hope you all had some weekend wins and that September looks like a reasonable month.