Not a Wasted Word

It’s been great to post my February FIGS these past two weeks, but I’ve missed writing regular posts. This week I’m off, but the kids are in school, so I have some hours each day to get some stuff done. Of course my husband just came down with whatever the 11yo had last week, which means I’m caring for him, and waiting to feel sick myself. I’m sure to get it, since we spent a solid 24 hours together, I just hope I get it while I’m off and not next week when I should be back at work. It’s a really shitty week for my husband to be sick, and he’s still planning on going to a press conference today (in a mask), so let’s just say it’s not the relaxing atmosphere I was hoping for.

This week last year we were in Mexico City for a week without the kids. It was our first trip without them, and it was glorious. We’ve been remembering what we did each day and it’s been nice to revisit that time together. I’m so glad we got to take the trip. I hope we can travel together again sometime soon. (That trip was for our 10/15 anniversary, so I suppose in another 4 years we can celebrate our 15/20 anniversary! Eek!)

I have been trying to figure out what I want to get done during this break. I have some work tasks that have to happen, because Trimester 2 ends in two weeks, and the 7th graders go away to outdoor ed the last week of the grading period, which means all their work needs to be in the grade book now. I’d also like to get a couple biggish things done around the house, but I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself.

Yesterday ended up being pretty full of appointments and errands. I had a video appointment that ran way longer than expected, then I hit up the pharmacy to pick up my new prescription, and Costco afterward because they are right next to each other. The dentist office called saying they had an opening at 2pm for the 11yo, who missed his teeth cleaning last week when he was sick. It seemed like a decent time to go, he’d only miss an hour of school and we’d get it done while I was off, so I took it. That required picking him up and taking him to dentist. Then we got his favorite meal on the way home, which he ate before we headed to the dojo for several hours. We didn’t get home until almost 9pm.

Last night I slept horribly, but I still had to get up at 6:30am to get the 14yo up and eating breakfast, and to get both kids’ lunches ready. After I took the 11yo to school, I came home and tried to sleep and I did! I just woke up after over two hours of a sleep so deep that when I woke up I assumed I had slept past my alarms and was late getting the kids to school. I was so disoriented when I realized I was in my son’s room (I was sleeping in there because it is pitch black and my husband wasn’t sure if he was going to work or not yet). I really can’t believe I took that nap. I never can nap during the day, so my body clearly needed it.

Tonight I’m going to the general class at the dojo, then attending their quarterly board meeting. I have never been to the dojo’s board meeting (it’s a non-profit, so it has to have a board that meets regularly), but I feel like I’m participating so much now as a teacher, that I should probably start going. I love how my commitment to the dojo has grown in the past years, and I’m excited to honor that commitment more tonight.

My only other goal for today is to hit up the library to grab a book that my branch miraculously has. It’s drizzling now, so I’ll probably eat lunch and then head over there.

I’m not really sure what I’ll do with the next two days. I got some of my work done yesterday, and I’ll probably tackle some today. It’s the kind I can do with a show on in the background, so it will be nice to do that while no one is home.

I also have another post to write, which I started here and then decided should be moved to it’s own space. It’s kind of heavy, but since I started it I hope to finish it.

I have to admit, I like this random week off in February. It means we get out later in the summer, but I’d rather have more time off during the year, and a shorter summer, so I’m okay with it. I know not all teachers feel that way, so I’m glad I appreciate how it’s set up. I have a different spring break from my kids this year, which is a bummer in many ways, but which means I’ll get some more time like this in a early April. It helps me not get to worked up over how I use my time now.

You know, last week wasn’t that great, but every day I was identifying bright spots I could mention and it really helped my over all mood and outlook. This week has also been ROUGH, but again, I do feel better for pointing out, to myself and others, what I appreciate. I guess gratitude practice is all it’s cracked up to be! Thanks again to Elizabeth for prompting these posts with her F.I.G. Collective!

SATURDAY 2/8 My Teens class went well. I felt decent sparring. I made it through my form for the first time. The 11yo stayed for all the classes and participated. Book club was super fun and we had a great conversation about the book (Solito, by Javier Zamora). The husband caught up on Severance so we could all (14yo, husband and I) watch tougher. It was a full, and good, day, full of meaningful connection with people I love.

SUNDAY 2/9 The weather was so beautiful that I felt I had to go for a run. And it was okay! Not great but definitely the best run I’ve had since it all went to shit a couple months ago. It gave me hope that I might feel good running again. I’ll take hope!

Also I was thankful that I had asked my GP for an Rx prescription – and received that prescription in the mail – before I woke up to a big flair on Sunday. I was able to treat it immediately and 48 hours it looked better! (Now, almost a week later, my skin looks great!)

Finally I was thankful that the 14yo had friends over, and my husband watched the Super Bowl with the 11yo so I had time to get work done on Sunday afternoon.

MONDAY 2/10 I was very thankful that my husband was able to stay home with our sick son, and that I was able to prep at work for a day away. I even got a sub that I know. It suck’s to be away from work, but it was not a bad week to miss a day.

Later I was super stoked that I remembered to get my EKG and lab test in the 30 minute waiting window after the my allergy shot. I had totally forgotten about it, but then I remembered just in time to get the EKG before they closed. I needed to get both before my appointment with the new psychiatrist to talk about changing my medication and I really don’t want anything to postpone trying new medication. I’m so glad I remembered while I was already there and don’t have to go back again this week.

TUESDAY 2/11 What a day! But I swear these are genuine, and not passive aggressive moments of gratitude. I swear!

I was so relieved to get a sub so I could stay home with the 11yo. I hate when my colleagues have to cover for me. I’m grateful my (first!) mammogram didn’t hurt much, and that the results were “nothing to worry about here.” I’m was also so happy that the bearded dragon ate a bunch. He hasn’t been eating much, and is very old, so I worry about him. But he ate so much! Hooray!

I was grateful to realize the spring on the garage door had broken at 6pm, and not the next morning so I could get a replacement spring that night. I’m grateful I was able to get the car out of the garage (thank you old Japanese shade for being tall enough and strong enough to hold it open) before my husband came home. I’m grateful that a Home Depot nearby had what I needed and that it was late so there was not traffic on the bridge to Emerycille. I’m glad I could make it work, even though the spring I got was actually too long. It’s not perfect but it will do! Honestly I’m most thankful that no 5r4one was hurt when the spring broke. It’s so old and I knew it would give at some point. I’m so glad no one was in there to get hurt.

WEDNESDAY 2/12 I so appreciated that my husband stayed home with the 11yo again so that I could go to work, and then that our staff meeting was “department time” so I could sneak out early and get the 14yo to her dentist appointment. I also really appreciated my husband being okay with me going to the dojo, since he’d already been home with the 11yo all day. Oh and I almost forgot! At school a trio of Black musicians and dancers came for an assembly and in the end all the kids came out to dance! It was so wonderful to see. Not only was there no attitude or inappropriate behavior/remarks, but the kids seemed to genuinely enjoy it. The staff also came out to dance and nobody took photos to post later. It was a really positive experience and put me in a good mood.

THURSDAY 2/13 Again I was SO GRATEFUL that my husband stayed home for a third time (for the 11yo’s FOURTH DAY at home) so I could go in a complete a grueling day. It was long and it sucked, but I was so glad to be there for it. It would have been a disaster with a sub. Oh, and I slept through the night! I don’t even remember waking up to pee. And I was asleep around 11pm so I got SEVEN STRAIGHT HOURS! It definitely helped me get through the day. Also, the 11yo didn’t throw up! So he gets to go back to school tomorrow! THANK ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD!

FRIDAY 2/14 Could I be more thankful that the 11yo is at school today? No. I have exceeded maximum gratitude. Truly! He is finally well! I’m thankful the storm passed and today wasn’t rainy. We need the rain, but some days off in between are always welcome. I love that my mom made the kids Valentine’s bags full of fun treats. She always gave me a nice Valentine’s Day card and little gift and it helped take the sting off a day that always left me feeling lonely and unloveable. It made me happy to see my kids get something fun too, and made me remember how much I appreciated her thoughtfulness on this day when I was a kid. And of course, while I still don’t love this “holiday,” I do love that I have a partner now to say Happy Valentine’s Day too. Finally, I could not me more impressed with the 14yo, who lets friend drama roll off her back and embraces opportunities to hang out with everyone, even if it can feel complicated. Yay for her Galentine’s Day party tonight!

A big thank you to Elizabeth for prompting me to write down and share things I’m grateful for this month. Here is week one:

SATURDAY 2/1: I grateful the 11yo got his red belt today, that he was allowed to test last week despite not signing up, and that he got to celebrate with all his friends. I am so proud of him. I’m also grateful that the 14yo wants to hang out with me, and loves shows that I love. I know any of my mom friends would die for a relationship with their daughters like I have with mine.

SUNDAY 2/2: I am grateful that the 11yo got into Sunday swim lessons at 10:55. It’s a great time, because we don’t have to rush, but we’re still done before lunch. It’s so nice to get him out of the house on a weekend day, especially when it’s a wet one like today.

MONDAY 2/3: I love my dojo and the people who make it such an amazing place to learn, and to teach (or to learn to teach!).

TUESDAY 2/4: Thank you Apple Cash, which allowed me to give the 14yo money when I forgot to put her lunch in her backpack this morning. Also thank you to the 14yo for being so cool about it.

WEDNESDAY 2/5: I am thankful that everyone was there for the assessment in 6th period. It’s the first time that has happened this year! There have been so many students out this winter, I can’t believe they were all there today.

THURSDAY 2/6: Everyone was there for the assessment in the second class! So I don’t have to provide a make up for this assessment! These kinds of assessments are a PITA to make up, and every time so far I’ve had to but not this one! Hooray! Also I slept decently and woke up feeling refreshed. I haven’t slept decently in so long, it felt so good to wake up Thursday morning.

FRIDAY 2/7: Today I was invited for drinks after work and I could go because (a) I wasn’t planning on working out, (b) the 11yo wasn’t going to the dojo and (c) he can stay home by himself. It was good to hang out with colleagues for a couple hours after a long week.

Oh and I slept through the night again! Two nights in a row. I hope it keeps up!

I have to admit, reading everyone’s blogs in January made me wonder what was wrong with me. I could barely manage to write a post a week, and never wrote goals for the year, let alone for the month. I felt like I could barely manage the bare minimum in basically every area of my life, work, home, and family. Every day I struggled to get up in the morning, while everyone else wrote detailed goals in different areas of their life, and then CHECKED IN WITH THEIR PROGRESS! Meanwhile, I am proud of myself when I show up to work in the morning.

I don’t know what my problem is, but I am over it.

Actually, I do have some idea what my problems were last month. I got a sinus infection. And then the antibiotics I took gave me a yeast infection (they were also responsible for the disappearance of my rosacea, so maybe that was a wash, except my rosacea is back now). The fires in LA were horrifying, especially since all my college friends live down there, and many of their family members lost everything. And of course the last two weeks of the month have been a nightmare with the new administration throwing America’s institutions into their roaring dumpster fire. So yeah, I guess I do know why last month sucked.

I guess I don’t understand how everyone else is managing to get on with their lives (which is what they should do), while I flounder and feel like shit.

But there are some things I did last month, some of them could have been goals! And I’m better off for having done them. They were:

I did my Strong Glutes program 2x/week repeating the first and second weeks, as suggested.

I cleaned the downstairs (because I was hosting a friend, but still! I finally got it done!)

I hung out with friends a few times, and with my parents twice. I definitely want to prioritize connection this year, and there was plenty of quality time with people I like and love in January.

I responded to all the comments on my blog. I didn’t write very much, so there weren’t many comments, but I still did it.

I made changes to my sleep situation in an attempt to take back the 3-4am hours.

I made an appointment to see a new psych in the city to change my meds.

I tried to make an appointment to take the cats to the vet the week I’m off after President’s Day, but they are closed for renovations. But still, I tried!

Oh and today I emailed my GP with pictures of my rosacea, because I’m finally willing to fight for my skin, after being reminded of how nice it can still look.

These are acts of self-care! I am trying, even though a lot of the time I feel like shit.

Maybe I should cut myself some slack. And articulate a couple priorities for this coming month, so I can feel good about getting them done. I get a week off in February, and four of those days my kids have school. I should especially make some goals for that week.

In the meantime, I have continued to work out, though I’m not sure I’m going to keep writing out my weekly workouts here. I’m not quite sure what the point for doing that is, since I don’t actually say much about any of them. I wonder if a monthly accountability buddy (like Engie does) would be more helpful , since the main reason I think it would be interesting to keep tracking them, is too look back at what I’ve done, and looking back at a month, instead of a week, would be easier.

I am going to participate in Elizabeth’s F.I.G. Collective, because I definitely could use some gratitude practice right now. I think I’ll post them on Fridays, the month ends on a Friday. I hope to write them day by day, so I’m not scrambling after the fact to remember something, because I think the daily practice of identifying things I appreciate is what I most need.

So there you go. I’m still not in a great head space, but I am attempting to pull myself out of the hole. I’m really hoping February is better than January.

I have to admit, I’ve struggled to show up here. As I’ve struggled to show in pretty much all areas of my life. I just don’t want to do anything these days. Which makes doing everything feel really hard. And getting thoughts on a page is hard! I lot harder than folding laundry…

I started writing a response to Jenny’s Best Years Ahead? post but it got dark fast. So I’m going to table it for now and revisit it when I’m feeling a little better. (Also I started this post on Saturday afternoon! But only just finished it now, late on Sunday night.)

For right now, some shards of light pushing through the grey of my mood lately.

The 11yo tested for his teen red belt yesterday. He wasn’t planning on testing but when we got there (I was assisting) he found out everyone at his level was testing so he asked if he could and was given the okay. On the one hand I’m so glad he didn’t get left behind. On the other hand it’s a big deal and I wish we’d had some of the lead up to it. Of course, the lead up can be stressful, so it’s probably for the best. I’m proud of him and I hope he keeps feeling positive and proud about what he can do at the dojo.

The 14yo changed ADHD medications from Ritalin to Concerta and is really noticing the difference. She didn’t have homework two nights this week because she actually got her work done in class! I’m so glad she’s responding well to the new medication, and trying to push down the guilt about waiting so long to try a new medication.

I have been thinking about trying a new medication and now I am 100% ready to make the change. I’m excited to try something new because I don’t feel like my medicine has been as effective lately (and when I say lately, I mean this school year). It feels good to committed to this after waffling about it for so long.

I took the weighted blanket off our king bed and I think it has helped my back pain and my allergies. I wondered for a long time if I should take it off, but couldn’t commit. Now I finally decided to just give it a try already. It’s definitely weird to not have that feeling of closeness that I really enjoyed, but I haven’t been tossing and turning as much at 3:30-am this week. We’ll see if it seems to help next week (when the placebo affect will have worn off, if that is really what was helping.)

My rosacea is a lot better right now, in fact it’s almost completely gone?! I forgot how nice my skin is when it’s not covered in pustules. I have no idea why it’s better right now; the only change is that my mom got me a Blissful pillowcase for Christmas, because she heard it could help with skin problems. Maybe it has helped? It’s literally the only thing (that I know of) that has changed.

My friend came over last night and we watched a movie and talked and it was so nice to connect with her. She is a really good friend, and I feel like I haven’t seen enough of her lately. I’m so glad it worked out for her to come over while my husband was hanging out with his friend, the 11yo was at his friends’ house and the 14yo had two friends sleeping over. We all got friend time!

I recently listened to The History of Sound and absolutely loved it. It’s a series of short stories that are interconnected in sometimes small, sometimes significant ways. Ed Helm, Jenny Slate, Nick Offerman and Chris Cooper are among the narrators. I don’t usually like short stories, but I was transfixed by this book. I highly recommend the audio book version of it. Also I’m doing the slow read of War and Peace (via Footnotes and Tangents) that Lori recommended at the beginning of the year. I got my mom a subscription (and a three volume copy of the book) for her birthday too, so we’re reading the book, and discussion posts, together. I have to admit, I’m already liking it! When I think that I will still be reading it this spring, and summer and this Christmas, it’s a real head trip. I’ve never read a book over a whole year before, and I welcome the new experience.

WEEKEND

It was a lovely weekend, one full, fun day and one do-nothing chill day. And of course today (Monday) is still the weekend! I am so thrilled to have an extra day off.

All this is great, but I’m still struggling to get a goddamn thing done. My house is a shambles. I have so much work to do. I’ve barely been working out. And yet, the only think I want to do is listen to audiobooks while I play games on my phone, read a real book or watch TV. That is pretty much all I did yesterday.

Actually I wrote that and then remembered that I worked out and changed all the beds and did a ton of laundry. Sure there was a ton of other stuff I could have done, but I didn’t do nothing.

The two SketchFest shows on Saturday were great. Julie Hegarty couldn’t make it to the live read of Airplane! (she had to be evacuated because of the fires in LA), but the cast was incredible and the show was amazing. We all laughed a lot. It was definitely fun to see it with my parents, who I know appreciated the event. We went out for a later lunch after, then they picked up the kids after the dropped me off at home.

That night we went to a friend (from the dojo)’s birthday downtown. He is my rank and one of the two people I’ve been training with a lot this past year. I was excited for my husband to meet some of my dojo community, because he is never really there and doesn’t know any of them. It was a perfect introduction for him – short and low stakes.

We left the party early to see Chris Flemming at the Great American Music Hall. His stand up show was incredible. I haven’t laughed that hard, for that long, in a many years. I’m so glad we saw that show.

Sunday we didn’t do a goddamn thing until 4:30ish when the kids came home. I did end up changing the all the beds and doing even more laundry (I have done SO MUCH laundry this weekend). Today I’m taking the kids to the Great Highway for a run/bike ride. I haven’t run since the break (two weeks!) and I’m hoping I don’t feel like shit on a shoe. It’s only four miles, so I’ll make it regardless (I finished my five days of antibiotics this morning, and I am feeling better, so fingers crossed). UPDATE: I ran and the weather was beautiful and I was happy to be outside, but I did not feel great. Maybe it will never feel good to run again?)

WORKOUTS

M: Strong Glutes Program Week 1: Routine 1 (she recommends you repeat weeks 1 and 2) + 15 min Hip Mobility w/ Hannah Corbin

Tu: Sparring concepts + Sparring

W: 45 mins Intervals & Arms w/ Tunde + 10 min Stability Ball Ab Workout

Th: Strong Glutes Program Week 1: Routine 2

F: 40 mins on the Elliptical + CG Dead Bug Routine

Sa: SKETCHFEST!

Su: 10 min Tabata ride w/ Tunde + 10 mins Arms & Shoulders w/ Jess Sims + 10 min Stability Ball workout + Strong Glutes Program Week 2: Routine 3.

This week was not great. And here are four paragrahps about how it was not great (and one about the ways it was okay).

BODY. My back is hurting again, weirdly on the right side, and my piriformas syndrome is lingering. My sleep has been shit. I wake up at 3:30am and can’t fall back asleep. I toss and turn for half of my “sleeping” hours. I have stress dreams about work. I just want to sleep for six straight hours. Is that too much to ask? The shitty sleep is making me moody and irritable.

WORK. To say I feel underwater would be a vast understatement. There is so much to do and it’s all my doing. I have so much work to do this weekend and I’m resentful about it, but I don’t know how to not do all these things I’m doing. My worst class is driving me crazy. Today one of them stole one of the blocks in the new block calendar I got for work. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, except I COVERED ALL THE ENGLISH DAYS AND MONTHS WITH THE SPANISH WORDS ON LABELS! I was so happy with how it turned out (you may remember I had to replace my flip calendar, which was ALSO stolen from my room). It makes me crazy when my students steal from me, especially some dumb shit that they have no need for, which means they took it out of spite.

HEALTH. I finally called an advice nurse on Tuesday, to ask for a Rx for what I suspected was a sinus infection. The Rx was ordered that night and I was thankful because the next day I finally started feeling the tell-tale pressure and pain on the right side of my face. I’ve been taking antibiotics for 2.5 days now and am finally feeling better. (My husband also got an Rx, but still feels pretty shitty.) Truly, whatever we got was really nasty. Do not recommend.

MOOD. As you can probably tell, I’ve been very much down in the dumps this week. I’m sure the biggest culprit is the lack of solid sleep. My husband has been in a shit mood, which puts me in a shit mood. The 14yo has been trying our patience (as 14yos are supposed to do), and it’s been hard to compartmentalize her attitude, especially when my husband is rage texting me about it. (Okay, rage texting is probably overkill, but it’s definitely angry texting). Also, my SIL is going through a messy divorce and I feel horrible hearing about all the bullshit her husband is putting her through. My poor in-laws are really struggling. It’s awful. I haven’t even wanted to workout, which usually is my happy activity, that makes me feel better. No so much this week.

BRIGHT SPOTS. But not all was lost! I can’t write an entire post all about the shit. It would be disingenuous, not to mention a giant bummer to read. So, some bright spots: I was able to pick up my daughter’s new Rx, and my Rx, and my husband’s Rx all in the same trip, which felt like a miracle. I was only there 30 minutes too! I’m working out on the elliptical right now because we have a new dojo carpool and they brought the 11yo TO AND FROM the dojo tonight. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. It’s a three day weekend and I’m so happy for the extra time at home, and less time at work. Tomorrow I’m seeing two Sketchfest shows, and my kids are going down to my parents’ house, so Sunday morning will be delicious. I really do think next week will be better than this week. Onward and upward, as they say.

Weekend

It was a decent weekend. Good even! Here are some highlights:

On Friday I stayed at work instead of going for a walk and got so much done. Then I had dinner with some high school friends (that is why I was hanging around at work), which was nice. Finally, I made it to the pharmacy before 8pm and got an entire year’s worth of the 14yo’s birth control. She doesn’t take the placebo week, but they never factor that into the refill date, and it’s a giant pain every three months (which was why I had to get it last minute, because AGAIN there was an issue refilling it). Now I don’t have to worry about it for a long time.

On Saturday, the 11yo stayed for all four classes at the dojo, which means that not only was I NOT asking for time while I was there, I was giving my husband time! He was really tired by the end of the four hours, but he sat out for half of the third class and then turned his attitude around for the fourth class. It was awesome to see him make it through the whole set of classes!

It was good he stayed with me all morning, because I was at book club pretty much all night. I left at 6pm and wasn’t home until past 10pm! It was a really good time, with my best friends, and I very much enjoyed it. It might have been the best book club yet!

Sunday, we had a slow, do-nothing morning and then both kids got to see friends in the afternoon/evening. The 11yo went to a birthday party from 3-7pm and the 14yo hung out with a friend. The 11yo and I walked to the birthday party and the 14yo and her friend walked to Grocery Outlet and back, so everyone got outside in the sunshine! A huge win!

My husband still feels bad and is starting to get really frustrated by it. He was in a foul mood all weekend, but at least by the end of it he recognized what a pill he was being and apologized. I’ll take it!

We finished the weekend off with some episodes of Parks and Recreation, and the last one we watched was one of my favorite episodes where every gets the flu and Andy (Chris Pratt) stays, Leslie, I googled your symptoms and it looks like you have… internet connectivity problems. Chris Pratt is so good on that show.

Workouts

M: 30 min Strong Glutes Program: Week 1, Session 1

Tu: 30 min Bike Bootcamp: Core w/ Jess Sims (3/8/24) + some upper body weights

W: General class + High Belt (we did a side kick class and I was HOBBLING on Thursday and Friday) + 15 min hip mobility w/ Hannah Corbin (1/1/25)

Th: 45 mins on the elliptical + CG Dead Bug workout + 10 min foam rolling: Hips w/ Rebecca Kennedy

F: 30 min Strong Glutes Program: Week 1, Session 2

Sa: Sparring + Forms + High Belt

Su: 30 min Intervals + Arms w/ Tunde (1/10/25) + 10 min stability ball ab workout

My periformas syndrome already feels a lot better. I am so excited to be using this program to activate and strengthen my glutes. It was definitely worth spending the money.

Body

I figured out earlier this week that I have piriformas syndrome again. I’m not sure if that is why my hamstrings, hips, and lower back have felt so fucked up lately, but it’s definitely the primary source of acute pain. I spent a full 24 hours wallowing in this development – it took MANY months for driving to not be agony the last time I had this – but then I bought a glute program by the woman whose posts taught me about piriformas syndrome and helped me understand how and why such a small muscle in my butt cheek could cause me such distress. The program is specifically for people with periformas syndrome and lower back pain and I feel confident that it will help me feel better a lot more quickly than I did last time (it took me two full months to figure out what was wrong in 2022 – I am so glad I found this woman’s site). I am kind of flummoxed by how a failure to activate my glues is the root cause of the vast majority of my chronic pain. I really hope this program helps me to learn how to activate them when appropriate (I can already tell from just one session that I do NOT activate them when I should, I’m not sure how this deficit started, but I’m aware of it now and awareness is half the battle.)

Health

The shaky feeling has mostly passed, but I had some bouts of it yesterday. I still have whatever virus ravaged my family, but I’m coughing a lot less (and more productively) and while I still have sinus stuff going on, it seems to be improving (I might have an actual sinus infection, but so far it’s not too painful so I’m holding out on seeing someone – I hate taking antibiotic unless necessary). My husband, who originally felt bad last Wednesday, only just went back to work today. He worked a half day from home Tuesday and a full day from home Wednesday, but he’s been miserable. Whatever we got was the worst virus we’ve had in a long time. I’m trying hard to take care of myself right now; I’ve been going to bed really early, and resting during the day at work. I’ve also been doing a lot of hip mobility work, which keeps my anxiety about my chronic pain down. I just hope I start feeling really better soon.

Goals

I still am no closer to articulating goals for 2025. I haven’t even done my January Must-do and Hope-to lists and that was one of the goals I wanted to make for this year (writing and posting them monthly). I hope I can get something up this weekend. But I will say, one of my goals is to respond to comments within 24-48 hours. I’ve been responding to every comment since the new year (I think!), and responded to many of them in the last week of December. I just wanted to mention that here, since some of you comment!

Kids

The 14yo swam twice this week and says her shoulder is doing a lot better. We are pretty on her to do her PT at least five times a week, and I’m so glad it’s actually helped. I really hope she nips this in the bud early and it doesn’t come back again. She missed the sign up for swim team at her school (because all the sports teams push out info ONLY on Instagram! WTAF!), but she emailed and it looks like she can still participate. There is a meeting tomorrow after school at 4pm (that my husband saw on Instagram) and she plans to attend. She is clearly nervous about swimming on her school’s team, but I think it will be a great way to meet new people and push herself physically. I really help her shoulder allows her to participate.

The 11yo really should be wearing deodorant and washing his face every day, and showering more often, but he is NOT interested in hearing anything about any of that. He got all the necessities for Christmas, but he chafes when I ask if he’s used any of them. The next few years are going to be so fun!

Speaking of fun…

I have a couple fun things to look forward to this weekend, and this month. Tomorrow I’m having dinner with some high school friends. I have three hours between work ending and when we meet, and I decided NOT to try to run, because I don’t want to start the weekend feeling shitty. Instead I’m going to go for a walk either with a work friend (if she’s available) or by myself. I’m proud of myself for making that decision.

Saturday is book club and it’s at a local wine bar. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone.

I’m seeing three Sketchfest shows over the long weekend later this month, two with my parents (a live read of Airplane and a conversation with Albert Brooks) and one with my husband (a newish comedian he really likes). I always love seeing Sketchfest shows and am looking forward to them.

Final note: I’ve been following the coverage of the fires really closely. Most of my college friends live in LA, and while none of them are in immediate danger, two of their parents have lost their homes and one of their sisters has lost her house. I spent a lot of time at one of those now-gone houses – I stayed for a week there with my daughter when she was a baby! – and I can’t believe it’s gone. This is the house of the parents’ of my friend how had the mental health episode two winters ago. They have had such a hard go of it and I’m devastated for them. I’m devastated for everyone in LA. I had no idea that they were not getting any of the rain that came through Northern California. We’ve gotten a fair amount of precipitation, and I didn’t realize that Southern California only got like five minutes of rain all fall and winter. I don’t really know what else to say about it, except that it’s in my thoughts a lot right now.

I didn’t mean to take a break, but now it’s January 5th and tomorrow everyone has to return to their regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. I don’t even have a staff day to start, like I usually do, so it’s a regular five day week for me. Sob! Just the getting up part is going to be so brutal. We’re all sleeping in until 8:30am at this point, some days I’ve not woken up until past 9:30am! My body gets better sleep from midnight to 8am, so I give myself that time when I can, but next week is going to be like a time change on steroids. Blerg.

The end of the break was kind of weird. I wasn’t feeling great. I’m still not, but things are not as dire as they were on Friday. For several days I’ve been kind of shaky, like my limbs are weak and I need to hold the hand rail when I walk down the stairs. Also my lower back and hips really hurt and and hamstrings my are super tight. I’ve been in considerable pain in the car especially, but doing any kind of sitting hurts. I have no idea what is going on. I wonder if it’s this virus we’ve all had? Or anxiety? I really don’t know what is going on but I’m not a fan. And I hate when I’m in pain and I don’t know what to do to get rid of it. I’ve been doing hip mobility work, and I’m sure my psoas is super tight, but I’m not sure what I’m doing that is creating such a drastic imbalance and making everything hurt. I’m so tired of my body doing this to me.

{The virus we got was major! It hit the worst like five days in, which was so unexpected. Just when you think you should be feeling better, and you spend a day feeling the worst you’ve been. We’re all still coughing, almost two weeks later. It was a doozy.}

Anyway, I’m not sure what is wrong with me, but I still managed to get some workouts in. Here is my workouts for the break (actually, this starts the Monday before the break started).

{I am still trying to figure out 2025 goals and even just January Must-Dos. I’ve been letting myself do not very much and I’m trying to be okay with that!}

M (12/16): Rest

Tu (12/17): Sparring Concepts + Sparring

W (12/18): Rest

Th (12/19): Sim’s 60 Pop (my first 60 min bike bootcamp!)

F (12/20): 50 min run (felt terrible)

Sa (12/21): 10 mins Arms & Shoulders w/ Rebecca Kennedy + 10 mins Glutea & Legs w/ Jess Sims + 10 min stability ball ab workout

Su (12/22): Hiking around in knee deep snow for three hours (seriously exhausting)

M (12/23): 25 mins of PiYo Scuplt

Tu (12/24): Rest (drive home + Xmas Eve w/ my parents)

W (12/25): 30 min run by my IL’s house (felt AWFUL, but ran into my dojo friend)

Th (12/26): Rest (realized Xmas day run felt bad because I was getting sick again)

F (12/27): 60 min Bike Bootcamp w/ Jess Sims (5/16/23)

Sa (12/28): 30 min Interval & Arms w/ Tunde (10/10/24)

Su (12/29): Rest

M (12/30): 40 min walk to dojo + 60 minutes of forms (I learned my whole form!) + CG Dead Bug Workout

Tu (12/31): 60 min run (probably actually ran 45 min) + 10 min stability ball an workout + 10 min Arms & Shoulders

W (1/1): Didn’t do a damn thing. Didn’t even put a bra on. Happy New Year!

Th (1/2): 55 min run (probably actually ran around 40 mins). After this is when I started to feel really bad.

F (1/3): 30 min Bootcamp: Bodyweight w/ Tunde

Sa (1/4): Sparring + Forms + High Belt class at the dojo + 15 min Hip Mobility w/ Hannah Corbin

Su (1/5): 30 min Intervals & Arms Ride w/ Tunde + 10 min Foam Rolling: Hips w/ Rebecca Kennedy