I was going to come here a couple nights ago and say, hey, it’s been a while since I cried. It’s been a while since I’ve felt totally overwhelmed. I was going to report that the mental health crisis I was dealing with a bit ago seemed to have passed. That I felt pretty decent, given the circumstances.
And then Tuesday happened.
I’m sure it’s hormonal. I have a short cycle (just 21 days) so I’ve been on this roller coaster twice now already during shelter-in-place. It definitely hits harder these days. These days are rough. This week, evidently, will be rough. I’ll get through it, and it will be better on the other side.
I’m very happy that Monday one of my favorite nearby parks we open again after a month-long closure. Getting out, alone, to run for an hour definitely helped put me in a good head space for the rest of the week.
The stuff I’m reading about right now – that people are assaulting people whose job it is to enforce face mask requirements, that governors are then waiving those requirements, that states are requiring people return to work or lose their unemployment benefits… there are no words. And once again our country feels unrecognizable.
I read recently that the most horrible thing will be when we accept the deaths as unavoidable casualties. When we know longer care that a 1,000 people die every day. Except they are avoidable, and I worry many of us already stopped caring.
And now Trump is sowing doubt in the validity of number of deaths. Even though, when you factor in access deaths, the number is actually much higher.
I think now is the time for me to step away from the news cycle for awhile. Especially during weeks like these when I feel more emotionally reactive and overwhelmed. it doesn’t educate me, it only depresses me. And right now my hormones don’t need any help with that.
Yes. there is absolutely no way to keep reading and thinking about the atrocities that are happening and not be angry and depressed and anxious. I’m trying to keep updated but not get sucked in or I just can’t function.
I have had to completely stop watching, reading or viewing anything that had news related. I still get texts and messages from friends asking my opinion on ridiculousness that is out there. The insanity of it all drives me insane and it’s best for me to ignore it then try to make everyone understand. I feel your pain!
Please keep posting your views and lines of sight both geographic and mental. I too am tracking my emotional changes and my hormones hit ‘steady state disappeared’ quite some time ago But sometimes it JUST IS TOO MUCH. Knowing I am not alone in that helps. It reminds me to be gentle with me and to give myself space.
Today my sky is blue out my window, the air early this morning was lovely and cool and good for a long walk, roses were in bloom, the lizards are out on my back patio area and the robins are being territorial.
I am so glad you write, that you have continued to write. That you tell the truth that I can relate to. Not sure if you will write more this week but want to tell you and your other readers:”Happy Mother’s Day” for your mom, for you if that has ever applied even in just your dreams, and sending wishes for a year that improves and brings joy, laughter, dreams. I am so proud of your generation of women!