72 Hours of The Alone

On Friday morning I dropped my husband and son off at SFO for their flight to Texas. My daughter had left on Wednesday, the day after their last day of school, to fly with her grandparents. They are all in Denton visiting my husband’s sister and her family.

I did not join them.

That means that for the first time since my first child was born (exactly nine years ago this past Friday), I was alone in my own house for three days.

And can I just say, it was amazing.

It was also strange. Very strange. To suddenly have no restrictions (except my own, self-imposed) on my time, to have no real obligations, for such a long stretch… it was actually very disorienting. I struggled to identify what I wanted to do, as I was reminded that even when it’s just me and my husband, I still have to compromise on so many things (or at least take his desires into consideration). Having no one else to answer to, I was unsure of how to make even the most basic of decisions.

I dropped my son and husband off at the airport early Friday morning and ended up at work with an hour and a half before my first class started (I did not join them precisely because I still am at work). I got some stuff done, finalizing grades and organizing my classroom. The school day was both crazy (we didn’t have enough subs so those of us with 8th graders – who were not in our classes as they practiced for graduation – took the smaller classes of other teachers and combined them with our own) and low key (those of us with 8th graders in our classes are basically done teaching as we won’t see them for the rest of the year).

After school I went for a run, then met my friend from work who is leaving for a high school job and we had dinner and drinks. Then I drove home and even though it was late I watched some TV.

On Saturday morning I woke up intending to go to my regular martial arts class at 11am. But at the last minute I decided to skip it and only go to sparring at 12:15. I usually go to the earlier class because that is when my son’s class is, but that morning I didn’t have to accommodate him, so I just didn’t go. It felt so… indulgent.

Sparring was great, and I left realizing that I usually have my son with my, dying to go home after so many hours in the dojo, or waiting for me at home after his dad picked him up. Today I had nobody at home waiting for me, or with me, so I rode my bike to a nearby park and went for a hike. I lingered as long as I wanted, feeling disoriented by the realization that I could do whatever I felt like. But what did I feel like doing?

On the hike I made plans with a friend to come over to my house in the evening, so when I got home I started to get some stuff done. I moved a bunch of tubs from the garage to the shed, which has been on my list for a while, and then moved even more stuff into the shed (all our winter boots are finally out of the house! And some of my son’s more annoying toys! Woot!) Then I cleaned my living room, bathroom and kitchen because they were, quite frankly, disgusting. My friend came over at 8pm, and I was in yoga pants and a tank top (it was in the 90s in SF this weekend! So hot). It was great to stay in, drinking cocktails and eating snacks. She didn’t leave until midnight. After which, I still watched some TV!

This morning I slept in until 8am! I usually wake up around my normal 5:30am time but I guess going to bed so late I slept past that. I stayed in bed for a while reading. Then watched some TV. I also talked to my sister for 2.5 hours! She is in London and it’s hard for us to find a time when we can both chat for a while, but today all the stars aligned. It was great to catch up with her.

I also dropped the camping gear I borrowed off at my friend’s house (and stayed to visit for over an hour), and picked up some toys from a guy on Craigslist (and ran some other errands nearby). When I got home I did laundry and watched some more TV. It’s been a really low key day.

Now it’s 9pm and I’m finally working out (it was way too hot earlier). I’m really getting thrown by the super long days and have trouble understanding that it’s actually 8pm when the amount of light outside is trying to convince it’s much earlier. It really must be summer!

My only other plans tonight are to fold laundry while I watch the premiere of season 2 of Big Little Lies.

This week is busy, but in good ways. Tomorrow I’m taking my other work friend out for dinner (she was pink slipped despite 20 years of service because they no longer have a position open that she can fill with her credential) and then martial arts, Tuesday is our 8th grade promotion, and my family comes home, Wednesday is our last day of classes, and staff party, Thursday is a clean-up my classroom day, and my daughter’s family birthday dinner, and Friday I’m taking my daughter and six friends to the amusement park for her birthday!

It was so nice to have this weekend to remember what I like to do when I’m all alone. I hope my husband and his family make a tradition out of this. ;