First of all, a big thank you to everyone who commented to let me know I’m not alone in my struggle. I hate that others are feeling as hopeless and overwhelmed as I am (if not more so!), but it does help to know I’m not the only one who hasn’t just moved on as if things are business are usual.
Thursday I taught my 7th period class from my empty classroom. I needed some Day of the Dead materials and I decided it made more sense to try teaching from my classroom, which I have to do soon anyway, than go down to grab stuff one afternoon. I also made plans to get there early and meet with my principal to talk about what returning to the classroom would actually look like. I assumed we could reach an agreement where I come in three times a week. Three times a week I felt like I could manage.
But it turns out three days a week is not an option. The district has decided that we have to be in our rooms from 8:30 to 3pm every day and the union has agreed that if some teachers have to be there every day, every teacher has to be there every day. It’s only fair. (I think they’re doing this so that everyone will be equally upset, and equally ready to take next steps, like working to contract, or possibly even participating in a sick out – neither of which has been formally mentioned yet.)
So starting November 16th, I have to be on campus, teaching from my empty classroom, every. single. day.
I cried a lot Thursday. First of all, teaching from my empty classroom is super depressing. It’s one thing to teach from home, which is weird. But the weirdness of teaching online is matched by the weirdness of being at home while I’m doing it. Teaching from my classroom, which used to have all my students in it, feels weird in a really depressing way. It was really hard to focus while I taught that class.
I also just don’t want to be going down to work like this. I want to be home, supporting my family. It doesn’t feel fair that I have to commute to work, to teach in exactly the same way I was teaching from home, when nothing else from my old life is accessible. Everything else is still locked down, but I still have to go to work every day. If I were doing something differently at work it would make more sense, but I’m not. In fact, I won’t be for a long time.
We have decided to our son in some kind of childcare. If I were going to work three days a week we could cobble together some kind of coverage between us. But if I have to be at work full time – 40 hours a week – we need to put him in some kind of childcare for at some days.
My district is offering childcare, and they are giving staff a discount. We can sign up for just M/W/F or Tu/Th. We’re thinking we’ll do three days a week, so we have that option on weeks we need it. We can also just not go on Fridays when that feels feasible.
Tuesday I don’t teach as much so my kids can come to work with me and participate in their zooms, and do their work, from my classroom. My husband plans to take Thursdays off, using covid leave and the copious time he has accrued in the last seven months by not taking any sick time or vacation days. My daughter will stay at home on the days my son goes to childcare, because she can get her work done on her own.
So this is our new normal. It definitely starts November 30th. It might start November 16th, which is the first day of our second trimester. We get the entire week of Thanksgiving off, so if it starts on the 16th it’s only one week extra.
I’m really sad about it. I don’t want to work from my classroom, totally isolated from my family, and even my colleagues (because we can’t interact with each other in any real, substantive ways). I don’t want to be stuck in a place I don’t want to be, alone, apart from everyone. A couple days of it might have even been nice, but five days a week? No thank you.
But I don’t get to say no thank you. I don’t have a choice. So next month I will start going to work again. And it won’t feel like things are going back to normal because nothing about it will be normal.
I’ve been writing this post for four days, so I’m just going to post it. I hope everyone had a safe Halloween and that they can vote safely and easily by Tuesday.
That sucks. I’m sorry. I’m glad your district is at least providing childcare. It ought to be free. My school district (not exactly prosperous) is offering free childcare to teachers who are voluntarily teaching on site. Since you are required to be there 5 days a week it’s the least they could do.
This is terrible. I would be livid.
I am so very sorry. I disagree, obvs, with the policy and frankly find it insulting, but that does not help you.
I think the childcare idea is your best bet. Glad teacher’s children get priority.
Holding on to each and all of you all this week particularly.
THANK YOU EACH AND ALL FOR BEING HERE. You always really really help me each and every day …. but even more than ever before this year.
The idea of the passenger bike, the trip to S. America, the B&B clean out, the backyard summer ….. your children. The memories you have lived and then shared to us……. Thank you.
UGH. I mean the childcare is nice but WHY do employers make life so hard on working moms? There is NO REASON that you can’t teach from your house like you have been doing. I’m so sorry- that truly sucks. Sure teachers won’t be able to interact, but why even introduce the possibility of community spread by having teachers commute and work in the same building??