I got that letter written today, the one defending my program. I’m going to have my husband edit it before I show it to the other foreign language teacher in our district, and then to my principal and AP. Hopefully I’ll be sending it off to the board and superintendent later this week.
I feel better now that I wrote it. And I’m glad I went to the professional development day. I ended up running into my junior year Spanish 3 teacher, who was also at the training. It was really great to see him, and we had lunch, and it was just a really awesome way to spend an hour of my day. We had a really interesting and substantive conversation, and I walked away feeling better than I had in a long time.
I also saw some other people I know, like the Spanish teacher that just left my mom’s school last year, the woman who long-term subbed for me when I was on maternity leave with my daughter, and the French teacher at the neighboring town’s middle school (who came to watch me teach last year). It was nice to be reminded that I am a part of a kind of professional community, even if I’m alone on my own campus. Maybe if I keep going to these trainings that feeling of community will grow (there are four more sessions that I already signed up for this year and then I can go to different strands in the coming years).
I got a lot done this weekend, and it feels good to check boxes and cross things off my lists. We are headed to Legoland this weekend for our son’s birthday, which involves taking Friday and Tuesday off (Monday is already a holiday for us), so its nice to feel like I’m almost caught up before the packing and sub planning start.
My husband was out of town for part of this past week, and it was also the book fair at my daughter’s school (which I had to staff every afternoon), but all in all things went pretty well. Obviously I had backup from my parents on Saturday, which was awesome, and they also helped at the end of week with taking my son to school (I had someone cover my first class one day to take him, but my parents came up the other two mornings). My inlaws have been in Texas since August, but now that my mom is retired my parents can help so much more. We are so, so lucky to have so much grandparent support.
And yes, my parents helped a lot, but I also managed a lot, and it was not that hard to manage it all because my kids are getting bigger and it really does get easier as they get bigger. And yes, bigger kids, bigger problems, but also significantly reduced day-to-day exhaustion. I wonder why the parents of bigger kids are so reticent to admit that it does get easier, they always seem to pull that big-kids-big-problems card, and while I understand where they are coming from, it doesn’t seem to tell the whole story and I wish they’d just admit that it does get easier.
So here I am admitting it: In my opinion it is much easier to parent an 8yo and an almost-5yo than it was to parent a 5yo and an almost 2yo. Way, way easier. I think it would have helped me get through those harder years if someone would have just said, oh yeah, that first bit is really shit but I promise, it gets better. Why did no one say that? I swear I was desperate for someone to say that to me and no one ever did. And I’ve had conversations with other parents who wholeheartedly agree and are also enjoying parenting a lot more now that their kids are older.
Maybe I’m just in that sweet spot, and in 3 years, when my daughter is a tween, I will think it sucks again. All I know is that right now, the days don’t feel as overwhelming, even when I’m parenting alone for a little while.
Which is good because everything else in the world feels overwhelming right now.
Speaking of overwhelming, I would like to overwhelming recommend you read Rebecca Solnit’s new book Call Them by Their True Names. I think you should read anything by Rebecca Solnit that you can get your hands on, but this new collection of essays is truly remarkable, and so, so necessary right now.
Good plan on letter.
Children keep changing and each stage is easier for some parents and harder for others. Some times the work and attitudes you are doing take years to be shown to have registered and made a difference. You just keep going and trying.
Thank you for mentioning the book. Rebecca is quite worth reading, always!
My oldest is now 10 and I definitely agree that older kids are easier! At least if you compare 0-5 to 5-10, I know teenage is difficult. But just the fact that you don’t have to be present and available and interacting 24/7 gives you so much more freedom to think and relax.
Didn’t I tell you that? Its challenging, but not EXHAUSTING in the same physical way (though we’ve had some rough nights round here as the little one declared he “no longer needs” nighttime pullups but really I think he does). They are actual people and can take care of most of their basic needs, which frees up my energy for more things. WAs there the blogger who talked about the “work” of childcare vs. the “relationship” of parenting? I think as they get older the “work” and “childcare” becomes much less onerous and definitely less physically demanding but there are always new challenges in the “relationship” and the “parenting” aspect that may cause some emotional/mental fatigue (though this varies depending on your kid, and I’m sure some kids are just…easy).
Agree with all of this. When mine were 7 and 2, I visited a friend whose youngest was 5 & it was miraculous how much easier everything was when the youngest was 5. At our house we are working on transitioning to a preteen 10yo & it’s harder than an easy 9yo but still so much better than a 4yo.