Yesterday was a hard day. I cried in the car. On two different occasions. I was kind of a wreck.
After I wrote the post on Monday evening, I did some stretching and I swear when I was doing a downward dog I felt a burning deep in my nose like water freeing itself. And then my head hurt much less when I crouched down! I was feeling so hopefully that my neti pot drama was resolving. But then that night I work up with the worst headache across the back of my head. I haven’t felt anything like that. It was awful. I took two Motrin Migraine pills and lay still until it subsided enough to fall back asleep.
The headache stayed away most of the day but started coming back in the evening. By bedtime I had taken more pain killers, but I was spiraling that I had other symptoms. I was sure I had gotten COVID. By the time I went to bed I just wanted to give up. I was so mentally and physically exhausted.
This morning I feel better. There are still echoes of the headache, but no other symptoms got worse over night. I’m testing now. And I made an appointment for a PCR test later today, since I have to go to Kaiser anyway to pick up an allergy Rx that took forever to come available. I’m so relieved I can get a PCR test. If it’s negative today, at day 6 (5.5?) I’m going to assume I’m good to go and stop wasting RATs on myself unless I develop new symptoms.
I’m realizing that I’m going to be sleeping in my living room and living out of clean laundry bags until I travel. This is part of what broke me yesterday. I’m just so tired of this whole arrangement. I’m just so tired. When I think about our trip I’m not even that excited anymore – all I can see is the work involved. This has all just been really stressful.
But I did get into the unit yesterday – windows open, husband away, double masked – to grab what I needed to pack myself. That helped calm some of my anxiety. I was really appreciative of him going to the backyard for so long, especially since it misty rained all the goddamn day!
I’m sure I sound like I’m blowing this all out of proportion. And that I’m not nearly appreciate enough of our unit, which allows us to isolate someone with COVID so thoroughly – I promise I am! Also, I’m not even working right now! And my kids are at camp! So why is this leveling me? I suppose it’s the uncertainty. And the loneliness. And the feeling that we’re dealing with this when no one else is even thinking about it anymore. It just sucks.
And while I wrote this on my phone my RAT got its 15 minutes. Only one line. Whew. Hopefully that will get me to my PCR test later today. In the meantime I gotta get these kids up and ready for camp. I also gotta get this cat out from inside my robe.
Having your living space disrupted is SO stressful. We had new flooring put in this month, and before my vacation last week, I was a mess! I empathize with you. Definitely don’t skip your vacation. It will be worth it when you get there.
Just so you know you’re not alone/others are still going through it, my mom got COVID (for the first time) just a few weeks ago. We isolated away from her once we knew – but had spent lots of time with her up until the night before – and none of the rest of us got it!
I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. I appreciate your honesty and remember, you are allowed to blow it out of proportion all you want- feel what you feel. I hope you’ll get to go on vacation, skipping that would probably make you feel sad. Sending hugs.