I don’t feel like I’ve ever been very sure of myself, but I’m pretty sure they pandemic eroded what little conviction I did have. (Sheesh, I can’t even say with conviction whether or not I’ve ever had conviction!)
So many people seem so, so sure of themselves. They read things, and hear things and they just know what is right and wrong. It feels like every day I’m less sure. I think I can spot obvious bias pretty well, but once you throw in a little nuance I am less sure. I’m easily persuaded by the people saying what I want to hear. I I don’t know how to interpret data or understand statistics in a meaningful way. I’m easily swayed by anecdotal evidence. I always have to remind myself that correlation does not equal causation.
My husband is incredibly sure of himself. He is also incredibly smart. He’s smarter than I am, for sure. I wonder if all the people who seem really sure of themselves are smarter than I am. It’s highly plausible.
Next week I think I can stop wearing my mask at work. I have no idea if I should do that. NONE. I know I want to be able to stop wearing my mask, but I’m not sure if that is what I should do. I hate teaching with a mask on. It’s hard on my face, and my throat and my voice. It makes my ears and head hurt (I wear one of those straps that pulls my mask back, always). It’s not comfortable at all. The kids can’t hear me very well, and it’s actually really important that they can hear me well, at least when I’m speaking in Spanish. I could just take my mask off when I’m talking to the class, but that is exactly when I would be most likely to spread aerosol particles if I were contagious. I really am not sure what I should do. Some “experts” say that as a triply vaxxed person, I can responsibly remove my mask at school. Others say that if I do so I’ll be choosing my own personal comfort over the safety of the unvaccinated and immunocompromised. I don’t know which one of them is right. Maybe they both are, to varying degrees?
From what I can tell, most staff at my school are either counting the days until they can take off their masks, or restocking the best N95s they can find. I don’t know many people who aren’t sure what to do. I don’t know many people who are indecisive as I am.
I’m tired… of now knowing how to interpret the data and understand the statistics in a meaningful way. I’m tired of not knowing what to do and having so many people tell me different things. I’m so tired of feeling pretty good about a decision, only to read an article that labels people making that decision selfish and horrible and uncaring. I’m tired of the mixed messages and the double speak.
It’s exhausting to be this indecisive. It’s exhausting to be this unsure.
The next few months are going to be really, really stressful. I’m definitely not ready. This is a lot harder than I expected it to be.
Do you feel sure of yourself these days? Do you know how you’re going to navigate this new phase of the pandemic?
Well, less smart people are actually more sure of themselves…
https://highexistence.com/dunning-kruger-effect/
Well yes, I know that less smart people can be more sure of themselves. I guess I thought maybe it was a U curve with the least smart and most smart falling on either side of the “very sure of themselves scale” and the rest of us falling somewhere in the middle 😉 …
I also do not at all feel sure of myself and am very tired of interpreting the data, making decisions. Wife and I are both triple vaxxed. We also both have pre-existing health conditions but not ones that are guaranteed to lead to worse Covid outcomes (so same as for others – some people experience Covid like a bad cold, others get very sick or have complications. A roll of the dice). We’ve been exceedingly cautious because of this but it’s getting harder and harder and more and more draining as restrictions and precautions are reduced and people are over being cautious. We don’t know how to continue protecting ourselves and accurately assessing our risk.
Our city is opening up, our works are starting to expect people back to the office soon (we’ve both been WFH, save a few weeks for my wife last fall, since March of 2020). My work wants me to travel at the end of April. We’ve barely seen friends in person in two years let alone done any travel. Our area has a Covid exposure app and we both got “high risk exposure” notifications this week from an outdoor dog walk that we did just the two of us but in a busier part of the city. So it’s clear that even with reduced testing we know there’s a huge amount of Covid around.
It’s so so hard. I wish you luck with your decisions.
I am a healthy 41 year old with no preexisting conditions. I actually think that my relatively good health, and the fact that I rarely get very sick despite working in a cesspool of adolescence and living with two kids that spend their days in their own cesspools, makes me overly confident in my immune system’s ability to handle COVID, so in trying to correct for they over confidence I become less sure of myself. It’s a whole thing.
If I were still using one of those apps that rates COVID risk I’m sure I’d be even less sure…
Hi,
I am a healthy 43 year old, triple vaxxed as of December 14th. I got covid back in January from one of my kids and I am still not back to my usual self, still plenty of fatigue and aches in all my joints. I am confortable not wearing masks only because I already got covid, along with all my family. Otherwise I would for sure be wearing maks everywhere, even if as of next Monday, they are only required in public transportation and at medical facilities (I live in France). I would continue wearing masks if I were you. I know that it doesn’t help you to make up your mind but I like to offer unsolicited advice 😁
I appreciate hearing stories like yours. I know I would be very impatient with such a long total recovery time. I don’t want to feel crappy for a couple of months. Thanks for sharing.
No changes for our family until my youngest is vaccinated, but we are literally the only people I know still being careful.
IMO, given all of the benefits to you and your students in teaching without a mask, the slightly increased risk to the unvaccinated by choice shouldn’t even be factoring into your decision, and the immunocompromised can continue to wear N95 masks to protect themselves (you know, since the CDC now admits that we wear masks to protect ourselves, not others). You also know that your area has very low rates and has been very cautious overall for the past 2 years, so if the people in charge of making those decisions feel that it’s safe to remove masks in your uber-cautious area, I’d trust that. 🙂
Life has very much returned to normal everywhere I go (both where I live and where I’ve traveled to recently). Masks only on mass transportation (planes & gondolas), but nowhere else anymore. It’s pretty blissful, I’m not going to lie!
I think you should change your marketing to yourself to think of yourself as intellectually flexible. Which is really good! None of us have this figured out, so it’s ok to take in new information. I think you need to give yourself black out periods from changing your actions though. You can take in new information and file it away without being swayed by it. Because fear is stronger than facts so I think people get pulled aside faster by their fears than a rational thought process.
I hear you on the *feelings* about the people who are calling names and screaming that anyone who thinks taking some breaks from masks is a careless hard hearted jerk. It’s like all the actions you have taken over the past two years to protect *other people * don’t matter at all the second you think your preschooler might benefit from seeing faces.
I agree with this. Am I suddenly one of the bad guys because our school is going mask
optional and I’m allowing my kids to take off their masks? Now I’m masking in supermarkets and pharmacies because I figure that everyone has to use them so I should protect the immunocompromised. It also doesn’t bother me at all to wear a mask in those situations. But still, some would say I’m callous for considering my preschooler’s needs.
I think I’m also intellectually flexible!
I also plan to wear a mask in “essential spaces” where everyone needs to go like supermarkets and pharmacies, etc. And I honestly wouldn’t mind continuing to wear one at school if it weren’t so hard to be heard and understood (at least in the effective masks ).
I sympathize with attempting to walk that line of balancing your personal risk with being a responsible citizen. My main concern with catching COVID was the uncertainty of what side of the continuum would we be on, a mild cold or in the hospital on a ventilator. My family of 4, all vaccinated, got COVID in January (pretty sure my daughter caught it at school in band class) and we all had mild cold like symptoms with no lingering after effects. Logistically it was a pain since each child was out of school for a week. When our school system went mask optional in mid February I let my kids decide if they wanted to wear a mask or not, I figured if not now when their immune response was probably at its most robust then when would we? My son decided to continue to wear a mask in one of his classes since the teacher is pregnant but to remove it for the others.
For what it’s worth, I had the mildest symptoms in the family, I scratchy throat and runny nose for about three days. I had the Pfizer shots with a Moderna booster, which I think you also did.
Good luck with your decision!
I’m getting *more* sure of myself as I get older; more confident in my decisions and being able to do things that work for me, not necessarily what I think others expect from me.
But, I’ll also admit that COVID and then just the public persona of modern life really impacts people’s decision-making. People are so quick to judge others on their decisions – often without knowing the thought that may have gone in to their choices. So it’s tough and then easy to second-guess.
Honestly, I haven’t thought about the masking much yet; we’re still required to mask where I live and know that case numbers have gone up a bit recently so I can see the date on unmasking getting pushed further. I think, for the most part, I’ll mask inside stores for other people’s comfort levels, but won’t mask in large spaces (like outside at the ski hill, for example…which makes my glasses fog up and I’m almost always 6 feet away from everyone).
I’m about 5 years older than you are and in the same state, but the greater Sacramento area. We have been SO careful. Like I’ve barely seen my friends over the past 2 years- a handful of times, outside and this past Thanksgiving, because cases were low and we all were vaccinated. I was looking forward to where we are now- and getting to make these choices you’re struggling with- and then….in January my husband was diagnosed with advanced cancer. So, now he’s going through chemo, and I’m back to living with his extreme fear of my bringing home covid. We both work from home and he never goes anywhere so my wanting so socialize is our only risk. We literally only go to medical appointments at this point. We’re at an impasse- for my mental health I feel it’s more important than ever to have that support system. He feels it’s more important than ever that I go nowhere. I feel like only vaccinated, outdoor gatherings are worth it to make sure I’m able to be supportive, he thinks it’s petty that I can’t be supportive without that….and around we go!
I’m so sorry. I hope your husband stays safe and you can move past this impasse. I don’t think you are being unsupportive but I don’t consider outdoor socializing to pose any risk (unless it is a contact sport or you are singing)
I have read that men are less likely to mask or take COVID seriously but in my limited slice of life (liberal west coast professionals), I have heard so many stories of men restricting their partners from engaging in any activities during COVID, even those that are demonstrably low risk, and discounting the need to socialize. It’s been a disturbing trend. Not saying that your husband is doing that. He may be truly scared and trying to control the situation. But I don’t think his restrictions are reasonable. Good luck and wishing you both well
I see this as less about confidence in the decision or smarts, but rather are you comfortable making decisions with gray and unknowns? Are you the kind of person who makes a spreadsheet before you buy a stroller?* Are you looking for the perfect and best option? Generally, I fall in the camp of good enough. CDC, blue states, and school boards in blue states have said it’s okay to unmask in the vast majority of areas. Accordingly my work and my children’s school have said we can unmask. I don’t feel like I need to keep looking further at the data at this point. That’s good enough for me.
* I have tween/teen so strollers were a long time ago. But one of my best buddies made a spreadsheet to help her rank features and make the best decisions. It was really wild because that’s not all how I decided.
Sometimes super smart is not smart at all on some topics. People can be smart in some ways and not others. Do not judge your insides against another’s outsides. It is so easy to do this and NOT HELPFUL.
My life situation is SO different from yours I don’t think I can advise about your mask and your school or your children’s schools. Thank you for raising the issue and thank you to all who wrote in and shared.
I am clear that the numbers in SFCounty and San Mateo County that are officially reported are better now than they were. They are also still high. And, we all know, they are under reported, many people do not report home positive tests to their counties and LOTS of people are using only home tests.
Clearly there is a lot of covid circulating.
Clearly Omicron Ba.2 is here and increasing.
Clearly some people have had Omicron twice since the middle of December and that is not a protection against the newer varieties of Omicron covid.
Also for some people even with ‘mild’ cases of covid there is serious long term damage. Being ‘young’ or ‘healthy/active’ or having a ‘good immune system’ isn’t solid protection against serious after effects. Measurable brain shrinkage, kidney failure, diabetes, stroke, heart attacks……. organs damaged by lack of oxygen due to blood clots………. Once people did not know measles could cause sterility in men; that shingles were a result of childhood chicken pox. There will be lots learned over time about the impacts of having had covid.
People who have been fully vaccinated and worn masks have also gotten sick. There isn’t a good answer but you might ask your doctor. So far all staff at Kaiser facilities are wearing masks…………
Monday has happened. Schools in many parts of this state unmasked. I am glad I did not have to make any decisions as either staff or student.
Palo Alto Waste Water is showing rising levels of covid again. I hope that turns in a different direction really really soon. Also hope so much that case rates and hospitalization numbers DO NOT RISE.