I’m not feeling great these days. Hot flashes are a daily, and nightly, occurrence. As well as digestive issues, that can lead to uncomfortable, if not painful, bloating. My allergies are nuts right now; I’m sneezing like crazy. All the nose blowing has created a couple staff infections in my nasal passages that are quite painful. My lower back is acting up and I seem to have pulled a muscle in my left quad. As you can imagine, I’m sleeping like shit, which makes me irritable on top of everything else. I’m a hot mess right now (literally and figuratively. Ha!)
In case you’re unsure how bad it’s gotten, my husband offered to take the kids this weekend so I could “have some time.” He just offered that to me. If you’ve read me for any length of time, you know how out of character that is for him.
It doesn’t help that work has been wonky this week. The 7th graders are at outdoor ed, and I have two classes that are mostly 7th graders. Usually I get a few 8th graders from some other class that is mostly 7th grade and they join my few 8th graders, but this year I am covering two completely different classes, one 6th grade and one 8th grade PE*. Oh and I have my 4-5 8th graders with me in those classes. It’s not exactly hard, but it’s not conducive to getting work done.
And I need to get work done because its the end of the trimester! Except when I get home I’m so tired and annoyed (and sweaty) that I don’t want to do anything, and I end up sitting on the couch, staring at my phone.
Today I left work early and ran some errands, before getting home around 4pm. I soooo wanted to just sit on the couch and play games on my phone, but I got out my work bag and scored a bunch of stuff that I need ready for tomorrow! I was so proud of myself for something that I used to do almost every day, no problem. Ugh. Everything feels really hard right now.
Yes, I know I can talk to my OBGYN about the hot flashes and IG/bloating issues, but I know she’ll just offer me HRT which I’m not interested in (because any form of birth control made me feel crazy, and HRT is the same hormones in birth control). The hot flashes have been happening for a week, so maybe they will chill out moving forward? Obviously I will research possibly treatments more if they continue to bother me as much as they are now.
Tomorrow is going to be an intense day at work, but I’ll get through it and it will be okay eventually. The kids have six days off for spring break the week (and earlier Friday) before I do, so I may take that Monday and Tuesday off so we can go somewhere close by (maybe Monterey?). I can’t take the Thursday or Friday off before my break anymore – that is not allowed! So if I do it’ll be at the beginning of their break. It will be nice to go somewhere with them, but I don’t love taking days off right before a break (I’d prefer to use them in early May, in the middle of the eight week stint with no days off).
I’m still in a reading rut. I understand Alas de Onyx better now, but I’m not into it as much as the first two. And I just cannot give a shit about The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store. I’m telling myself it’s okay if I don’t finish it, but I’ve NEVER not finished a book club book. Blerg, I guess there’s a first for everything.
Speaking of a first for everything, today I bought a pair of Lululemon leggings at FULL price. This is only the second thing I’ve ever bought from there, the first being a pair of yoga pants on deep (for them) discount. My mom bought me a pair of their dance pants OVER 10 YEARS ago that I still wear, but I’ve never actually bought anything there for myself until recently. Today I was in the store because I had to return clothes to another store and while I was waiting in line to get a bra on sale I saw a pair of yoga pant leggings with a piece of fabric that kind of scrunches over at the top in the prettiest dusty rose color, and I went to try them on to show myself they wouldn’t be as nice as I expected but they were! and they were buttery soft and I got them. I never get clothes like that at full price – pretty much all my clothes are purchased on sale, now that I think about it – but places like Lululemon have always been way out of my price range. And yet I got them. And I’m stoked about it. Maybe hot-flash me just has no fucks left to give about spending $100+ on a pair of yoga pants (okay I kind of cringed writing that… shrug emoji)
I don’t love coming on here to bitch and moan (and please know that I recognize that these are MINOR health issues, and I’m grateful every day that I’m not facing more serious conditions), but it’s where I am at right now. I have found my gratitude practice shining through quite a bit in the moment, when I feel grateful for small things or certain circumstances (that I’m not scoring any new work for two of my classes this week, and that I choose to watch Encanto with the 6th graders so I have some time to grade paper, to name a few). It’s not all awful, these are just new and annoying symptoms that I’m not used to. Oh and I’m sleeping very poorly because of them.
And I know I haven’t been writing about it much (at all?) but the political situation, which is causing incredible stress, (as you all are acutely aware). I actually thought the hot flashes were just stress responses at first. And maybe they are related? But needless to say, stress is the air we’re all swimming in right now, and I’d be remiss in trying to explain my state of mind without mentioning it.
* I LOATHE subbing PE. I hated the class as a kid and I hate “teaching” it now.
Long time reader, first time commenter…
When I went in re: the same menopausal symptoms one of the options I was given was a 6-month course of Wellbutrin. Best. Decision. Ever! When I asked how/why it works, I was told that the 6-month dosage period was enough to “reset” your body back to pre-menopausal state for those symptoms… it totally worked for me. AND you don’t have to wean off of it since the course was so brief. Of course it may not be an option if you are on other meds that would conflict, but definitely worth checking out!
Unlurking to suggest that you don’t write off HRT if the hot flashes persist. I also can’t handle hormonal birth control (despite trying a few times – it was so bad for my mental state). I had hot flashes for more than a year before finally trying HRT. The pill version of HRT influenced my mood despite being a super tiny dose that the doctor said ‘almost never’ has mood side effects. but the lowest dose patch HRT got rid of my hot flashes and didn’t effect my mood. If anything my mood improved and stablized, but that might just be because the hot flashes ended and I could finally sleep through the night again.
I had relatively intense/frequent hot flashes and it was SOOOO amazing to finally get rid of them.
I know you said you don’t want to try HRT because you’ve had issues with hormonal birth control. I had the same issues on birth control (to the point where I came off it completely for 15+ years) but started to have the same symptoms as you mentioned and spoke to my primary care doctor with the same hesitations as you have mentioned. She explained that the dosage and cocktail are different in HRT to what’s used in birth control and persuaded me to give it a try. That was 20 months ago and my quality of life has improved dramatically without any of the severe mood issues I had trying various brands of OCP. I only wish I’d spoken to her sooner, as by the time I went, the lack of sleep had nearly broken me anyway. I thought it might be worth sharing and encouraging you to have the conversation anyway as it has done wonders in my situation but you know yourself best. Take care.
Politics has never much stressed me out before, but I’m a mess about it now!
I tried Heaven and Earth Grocery Store and couldn’t get into it either. So many people love it but I just didn’t care. I managed to finish Deacon King Kong but I also didn’t really care for it.
1. You are old enough to decide you do not enjoy a book and to quit reading it. IF you have barely enough interest you can flip through last 30 pages. BUT NO BEATING YOU UP IF YOU DECIDE TO NOT DO THAT!
2. Ask doc if diet change might help hormonal stuff since HRT is not an option. But honestly the bad news as it may continue fluctuation for quite some time and it really is fully as nasty as you can imagine. Steady state hormones are wonderful. Exercise really can help but with a VERY full time job getting 4 hrs of exercise (or more) a day isn’t going to happen.
3. The ‘other stressors we are swimming in’ absolutely will make hormonal stuff worse. Also hurts resilience. You have LOTS of company re those stressors.
4. LOVELY that your husband is supporting you having some time and space! That can help.
THANK YOU FOR WRITING. You make a huge difference as I try to deal with stress things in my life. At the very least you remind me that those hormones are No Longer messing with me. Let’s not talk about what comes next. But local hormonal treatment is IMPORTANT!!!! Use local stuff! NO KIDDING!!!!!!
You/your bookgroup might find A WALK IN THE PARK by Kevin Fedarko a change of pace and fascinating. It is about the Grand Canyon. Get it from the SF public library as has maps that are probably less accessible on an ebook.
I wish I had some good advice for you, but I never had hot flashes! I know, that’s crazy. I went through menopause with not hot flashes- I just became less tolerant to heat in general. I know there are some natural/herbal things that are supposed to help? All of this and not sleeping well sounds awful.
So many people loved Heaven and Earth GS, but it just doesn’t appeal to me for some reason- and now I’m definitely not going to read it! I trust you.
I hope you get some rest this weekend.
I’m a long time reader, rarely comment, but I thought I had heard of a non-hormonal treatment for hot flashes; I had to google it but it’s called Veozah. Maybe ask your ob/gyn. I know nothing else about it, don’t know if it would interact with any other medication you are on, etc. I’m 50 and still not menopausal yet, waiting for it all to be done, to be honest.
Friend. Thanks for the update, and hugs to you.
I started birth control for hot flashes but it’s only been three days – but no flashes! Well, we also don’t turn the heat on as much anymore…
Also, I noticed that my night sweats increase with stress and not sure what to do about that. Like is bloody stressful lately.
I wanna stay informed but at the same time feeling myself hide in the sand like an ostrich.