I know there is a fair amount written about the very good reasons one should get up at the same time every day, from not disrupting our circadian rhythms to using those morning hours to pursue something meaningful. I also doubt that I am ever going to follow that advice.
I have to admit that I’ve really struggled with the recent time change. It’s always been hard for me to fall asleep before 11pm, but even with a sleep aide I have felt less rested these past two weeks. I think I’m finally falling into a new rhythm, but I do recognize that the simple act of jumping forward an hour really messed with my sleep schedule.
And yet, I am content to get up an hour or two (or three if I were given the opportunity) later than I usually do on the weekends. I have to wake up at 6am on week days, and there is no way I am going to do that when I don’t have to go to work. I HATE waking up at 6am. Getting to sleep in until 7:30 or 8am is one of the best parts of the weekend.
Part of the reason I like to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday is because my husband and I watch a movie, or a couple episodes of a show on Friday and Saturday nights. I really like watching movies and good TV. My husband always has a long list of movies he wants to see, and he introduces me to so many films I would never seek out on my own. I genuinely enjoy watching a movie on weekend nights, and the thought of not doing that makes me really sad.
I couldn’t watch a movie and go to bed by 11pm, because my kids aren’t asleep until 9, or 9:30 or sometimes even 10pm. Our house is small and both our kids’ bedrooms open to the hall that passes behind the TV set. We can’t really start watching a movie until they’re asleep (or at least our 8 year old son is), because they come out a few times to use the bathroom before they finally go down. If they see us watching TV (again, this is more of an issue with our son), they make a big deal about it. We have to pause and deal with them and it’s just not a very fun way to start our evening.
I also get better sleep from midnight to 7 or 8am than I do from 11pm to 6pm. I always suspected this was the case, but the pandemic absolutely proved this theory for me. I have never worked so hard, or such long hours, as I did when I was teaching from home while my kids were learning from home. Every night I was up until 1am or later getting work done, because I had so little time to work during the day. And yet, since I was able to wake up at 8am, I was better rested than I had ever been. Sleeping from midnight or 1am to 8am was a total game changer for me. Even if I could reliably fall asleep at 11pm every night (this is very hard for me to accomplish, despite adhering to strict regimens of starting early, only reading a print book for 30 minutes before turning out my light, and not drinking too much water an hour or two before bedtime), I would never be as well rested as I am when I can fall asleep later and still get 7 or 7.5 hours of sleep (this seems to be what I need – if I get more than than for too many days I start to wake up early, or really struggle to fall asleep). If kept getting up at 6am even on the weekends, I would deprive myself of the few nights a week when I’m getting my best sleep.
I am not a morning person. I never have been. Waking up very early when my kids were very young was an incredibly unpleasant experience for me. I enjoy parenting so much more now that my kids are older, and I while I think there are a lot of reasons for that, one of them is DEFINITELY not being woken up by my small voices calling for me. I remember clawing my way through those early mornings, bleary eyed, clutching a cup of coffee, wishing so badly that I could just go back to sleep. I shuffle through my mornings before work in a similar blur, struggling to complete the short list of task that I have performed so many times I should be able to do them in my sleep. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself). Even if I got a full 7.5 hours (or more!) the night before, I never wake up feeling alert and ready to go at 6am. And I doubt I ever will. (Maybe during menopause? I hear that REALLY messes with your sleep).
{My son STILL wakes me up at least one night a week needing something. People never mention that that shit can still happen pretty regularly even when your kids are in elementary school. I am so ready for it to only happen when they are very sick…}
I also get good work done in the evenings. On Sunday night I remembered some prep work I needed to do before Monday and I found myself with the energy and drive to get it done. I stayed up until 12:30am, until my computer threatened to shut down due to low battery, and got all four forms created and scheduled on google classroom for next Monday morning. I would never have been that productive at 6am.
This week I’m on spring break and I’m absolutely letting myself sleep until 7:30am, which is when my son generally wakes up. I know this is akin to traveling to another time zone and adjusting to jet lag, but I suppose that is a “trip” I’m willing to take. I enjoy waking up at 7:30am too much to adhere to my 6am wake up time for a whole week when I don’t have to.
I understand the arguments for maintaining a consistent sleep schedule – we don’t let our almost 12 year old daughter sleep past 9am on weekends because we don’t want her sleep schedule to get way out of whack – but I just don’t see myself making that kind of sacrifice during the school year. If I could wake up at 7am during the work week, I might make the effort to maintain that wake up time on weekend mornings, but 6am is just too early for me. And as long as I’m a teacher I’ll have to get up that early to be ready to start my school days. I guess, like having a drink on Friday and Saturday nights, it’s an unhealthy habit I don’t have the willpower to stop.
Do you wake up at the same time every morning? Do you do take other steps to maintain a consistent sleep schedule?
I tend to naturally wake up around 6:45 am every day and even though the kids aren’t allowed to come get us until 8 am on the weekends, I almost never sleep past 6:45 am which is slightly frustrating.
I do aim to be in bed with the lights off by 10:30-11 pm, but this varies. Sometimes I actually go to bed EARLIER on the weekends because I just find I’m more tired when the craziness of the week is behind me.
One thing I can say – this morning I was NOT ready to get out of bed at 7 am. I have had a lot of sleep issues lately and last night I slept so deeply it made it harder than usual to get moving. I’m already counting down the hours until bedtime…!
I have a preschooler so he pretty much sets my sleep schedule and so I don’t experience weekend sleeping in yet. Lately he has been sleeping until 6:45 though which is great. That said, I’m sure once both kids are self-sufficient in the morning I will totally sleep in on weekends! I hate getting up early. And I completely agree with you on that 6-8 am sleep. I am so much more rested if I sleep past 7. Those hours make a huge difference. When my second one was a newborn I would feed him at around 5/5:30 and then we would both go back to sleep until around 7:30/8. My husband would be with the older one. Those few hours were crucial to my survival, even on nights when I would be up with the baby for over an hour in the middle of the night nursing, changing and rocking back to sleep. It just felt so good to sleep then!
I wake up at the same time pretty much every day. But it doesn’t take any willpower. That’s just my natural schedule.
I don’t see any merit in forcing yourself to keep some different schedule than the one you feel comfortable with unless there’s some really good reason to do so. That you’re somehow “supposed to” wake up at the same time every day doesn’t seem like a good reason to me.
I think the idea is that you get better sleep over all when you maintain a consistent sleep schedule (you go to bed and wake up at the same times every day). But when you can’t choose when you wake up, it makes it harder (IMHO).
That makes sense! If I didn’t get enough sleep or felt tired, I would definitely try different schedules
I’ve never been a morning person and do much better sleeping in. With that being said, I seem to have fallen into a pretty natural rhythm of waking up about 6:45 nearly every day without an alarm. I prefer sleeping in later, but rarely find that I can unless I’ve gone out the night before with friends (and not gone to bed until 12-2am or whatever). My kids are in bed at 8pm and my husband wants to watch 1 show and then goes to sleep by 9pm, so sometimes I just give in and go to sleep at that point or sometimes I watch a couple episodes of something or read until 11ish, but no matter what time I go to bed I seem to wake up at 6:45. Pre-quitting my full time day job 3 months ago, I had to get up at 5:45-6 and that was MISERABLE, so I’m pleasantly surprised about the 6:45 thing since that hour gives me plenty of time to get the kids out of the door to school and then I work out and shower and start my work day by 9am (instead of 8) which I’m loving!