Taking care of myself

Evidently, the whole point of tracking one’s time is to take a look at the week in total and see how much worked, slept, hung out with your kids, and enjoyed leisure time. I have not yet spent the time to add up these numbers, but hope to do that (and write about it) before the week is out.

As you all know, things are a little hectic right now, but I’m trying to make a concerted effort to take care of myself when I can.

I mentioned in my final time log post that my hip and lower back were bothering me. I think I tweaked my hip on Wednesday when I ran, and it just kept getting worse until I was almost out of commission by Sunday; I could hardly walk at the end of the day, and even sitting was excruciating.

On Monday morning I called my chiropractor and made an appointment for Wednesday. Then I called a family friend who gives massages (at a discount to those who know him) to see if he could get me in before my appointment; I’ve noticed that adjustments are much more productive when my muscles aren’t so tight.

So today I ducked out of my professional development hours a little early (one of the benefits of being the only foreign language teacher) and got a massage (which was more painful than anything because my body is a mess right now–but still totally worth it) and then went to the chiropractor. When he adjusted my hips something deep inside moved into alignment and I immediately felt better. The rest of my back and neck needed some work too, as I’ve been carrying myself in weird ways to ease the discomfort in my hips and lower back.

I definitely feel better, though my body is still very sore. I hope that in the next few days the pain goes away as I start to heal.

It can be hard to take the time (and spend the money) to take care of myself, but sometimes the alternatives are too costly. I have been in a lot of pain, and I needed to feel better. I’m so grateful that I was able to make those appointments–and had the money to splurge on them–so that I could take care of myself when I was hurting.

This week is the book fair at my daughter’s school. I spent two hours (4-6pm) there yesterday and 1.5 hours there today. Friday is my final two hour shift (but we also have to take it down, which will probably take a while). It’s a lot of work, and hectic, but the book fair is an important fundraiser for the school.

September did not end up being the low key month I had hoped for, and October promises more of the same with parent teacher conference at my school and my daughter’s, my son’s third birthday, and Halloween (with all the parties at school and aftercare that entails). I guess I’ll just have to find more ways to take care of myself, even when things get busy.

Time Logs – Day 7

Finally, a fun day!

12:45am – Son wakes up coughing and needs to pee

7:10 – Son wakes up for day, upset about his bad cough, but also wanting to know when we leave for Gre.at Ame.rica (our local amusement park, with water slides)

7:20 – Get up with son because daddy just won’t do / Snuggle in bed for almost half an hour, then read books

8:10 – Start packing for GA

8:30 – Wake up daughter and keep packing

9:00 – Breakfast and lunch prep / Get kids dressed

9:35 – Leave for GA

10:10 – Make record time arriving at GA

10:45 – Finally at kid rides and water section / Go on a few rides / Meet up with my parents

11:00 – The water is on! (We came because it was in the high 80’s and also the last day this season that the water park is open)

12:00 – Stop swimming for snacks

12:30 – Hit up the wave pool

1:15 – Walk son around park so he’ll fall asleep

1:35 – Son asleep! (YAY!) / Lazy river and wave pool with daughter

2:30 – Son up / More water fun and rides

4:00 – Head to front of park / Bathrooms / Etc

4:20 – On the road

5:00 – Home with two tired kids / Kids watch TV / Start laundry

5:30 – Attempt light elliptical workout (hip/lower back is SERIOUSLY hurting) / Start this post / Read work emails

6:00 – Off elliptical (15 mins early) / Stretch / Move laundry to dryer

6:30 – Get kids in bath / Wash son’s hair

6:40 – Order son new shoes

7:00 – Get son out of bath / Start bedtime

7:15 – Husband takes over son’s bedtime / Wash daughter’s hair

7:25 – Snuggle son

7:35 – Take shower (Feels so good – it’s been SO MANY DAYS!)

7:45 – Continue this post

8:00 – Snuggle daughter (she fell asleep so fast! Yay!)

8:15 – Reheat dinner and watch a little TV with husband

8:50 – Fold laundry

9:05 – Make lunches for M/Tu/W. Pack snack for tomorrow. 

9:15 – Take more painkillers for hip/lower back

9:25 – Publish this post. 

9:30 – Go to sleep! Yay!

Time Log – Day 6

4:10am – Wake up to daughter yelling (she can’t find her blankie)

5:30 – Wake up to daughter crying (bad dream) / Begrudgingly get in bed with her (because she won’t stop crying) / Slam knee on her bed / Fall asleep for a bit

6:15 – Back in my bed

7:10 – Up with son: Read books and play for a while

8:00 – Breakfast with son

8:30 – Go to TJ’s with son (Yay for iPad games!)

9:00 – Head to Costco / Wait for it to open

9:17 – Costco opens its doors early! Yay!

10:25 – Drop crazy money at Costco / Head home

10:40 – Unload car and put stuff away

11:30 – Leave for work

12:00pm – Get gas / Grab lunch for later

12:25 – At work

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7:00 – Leave work (too late to run — frowny face)

7:30 – Home in time to help put kids to bed

7:40 – Son’s bedtime routine: milk / pj’s / read stories / snuggle

8:10 – Take over bedtime with daughter: brush teeth / read Capitán Calzoncillos / snuggle

8:45 – Reheat pizza / Start this post

9:00 – Enjoy pizza and a cocktail

10:15 – Still up watching TV and drinking cocktails with my husband / Sure we’ll be heading to bed soon

Time log – Day 5

I stopped yesterday’s post at 10pm when I went to bed, but my son woke me up at 11:30 so I’m including that here.

11:30pm – Go up with son, who was very upset.

12:10am – Back to bed.

5:45 – Alarm goes off

6:05 – Finally out of bed / Brush teeth / Read a couple blog posts on phone

6:15 – Morning pages (actually, morning page because…)

6:25 – Son up and wanting me / Read books together

6:50 – Wake up daughter

7:00 – Morning routine (I had to pack snacks along with finishing up lunch, and I put a load in the washing machine and set it to run before I got home)

7:50 – Left late with daughter for school (good thing it was raffle day!)

8:05 – Drive to work (listen to music)

8:35 – Traffic was light! Got in early! / Make copies

8:43 – Start teaching

9:40 – Leave for other school / Prep for activity

10:10 – Start teaching again

12:05pm – Work through lunch

12:40 – Start teaching again

2:30 – Finish teaching / Write to-do list for tomorrow / Do some light prep work

3:00 – Visit my mom in her classroom (she’s been away on a trip with her students all week)

3:40 – Drive home

4:15 – Get some supply at Office Depot

4:45 – Pick up son (He had a good day! Yay!)

5:00 – Pick up daughter

5:15 – Arrive home / Start dinner / Start daughter on HW

5:30 – Laundry (realize washing machine is leaking every where, look up and call repair service)

5:45 – Keep helping daughter with homework (it’s just one page, why does it take so long?!)

6:10 – Kids eat dinner

6:46 – Son in bath / Daughter reads me book

7:00 – Help daughter finish HW – all done for the weekend! Yay!

7:15 – Wash son’s hair / Get out of bath

7:30 – Son’s bedtime routine: milk / pj’s / read stories / snuggles

8:00 – Join daughter watching Matilda (Pick up and swept living room / Switch loads of laundry / Eat dinner / Start this post)

9:15 – Start daughter’s bedtime routine

9:30 – Help son (who sounds like he has croup?!) fall back to sleep

9:40 – Back in daughter’s room

9:55 – Finally extract myself from daughter’s room / Finish this post

10:05 – Help son pee and fall back asleep (this does not bode well for tonight)

10:10 – Read blog posts (I’m so behind!)

10:30 – Get 2nd load of laundry / Start folding while watching TV

11:20 – Finish laundry / Get ready for bed

11:30 – Good night!

Time Log – Day 4

Whoa. Today was a doozy.

12:30am – Son wakes me up and takes a long time to go back down.

4:30 – Son wakes up needing to pee.

5:45 – Alarm wakes me up but I go back to sleep. No morning pages yet again.

6:45 – Son wakes me up. I slept in way too late.

6:50 – Wake up daughter

7:00 – Morning routine

7:40 – Drop daughter off at school

8:00 – Drive to work (listen to music)

8:46 – Arrive at work (3 minutes after bell! Not good!)

9:45 – Drive to other campus / Start teaching

12:05 – Work through lunch

2:30 – School day over / Prep for tomorrow

3:00 – Leave work.

3:30 – Get Allergy shots / Grade papers while waiting for post shot check

4:20 – Pick up son

4:30 – Make smoothies and heat up left overs for kids / Make and eat dinner for me

5:15 – Pick up daughter

5:30 – PTA meeting (I ended up having to watch all the kids because the child care provided wasn’t there. It was super intense).

6:30 – Clean up child care room.

7:00 – Arrive home / Daughter’s homework

7:30 – Son’s bedtime

8:15 – Daughter’s bedtime

9:00 – Fall asleep in daughter’s room

10:00 – Husband wakes me up / Write this post

10:15 – Decide to wait on work and go to sleep.

Time Log – Day 3

2:35am – Up with son for an hour

5:45 – Up with son again

6:00 – Do some work, lose it when Word crashes

6:30 – Pack daughter’s lunch and snacks

6:45 – Wake-up daughter, read a book

7:00 – Morning routine: eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish making lunches.

7:40 – Drop off daughter at school

7:55 – Drive to work (listen to music)

8:35 – Grab a couple groceries

8:45 – Arrive at work / Prep for day (no class at other campus today! Yay!)

9:30 – Start teaching

1:00pm – End school day / Eat lunch (Our school day ends early on Wednesdays)

1:30 – Prep for rest of week

2:30 – Change into running clothes / Make copies

2:45 – Sneak out early / Drive to trail

3:00 – Run 4 miles

3:45 – Drive home (listen to music)

4:05 – Pick up daughter

4:20 – Pick up son (No biting today! Yay!)

4:30 – Arrive home / Start dinner / Get in shower

4:45 – Grandparents arrive / Get dressed / Finish dinner

5:10 – Leave for Back to School Night

5:20 – Man PTA table

5:40 – Give PTA speech in Spanish

6:00 – 1st grade Back to School Night presentation

6:30 – Take down PTA table / Chat with friend / Drive home

7:00 – Back home / Get kids settled down / Daughter’s HW

7:15 – Son’s bedtime: Milk / PJ’s / Read stories / Snuggle

8:00 – Finish daughter’s bedtime: Read books / Snuggle

8:45 – Eat dinner (that husband made–yay!)

9:00 – Write notes for class tomorrow

10:30 – Pack Thursday and Friday lunches and snacks

10:45 – Snuggle with son who woke up crying

11:00 – Write this post

11:15 – Review lesson plan for tomorrow

11:45 – Go to bed

 

Time Logs – Days 1 and 2

I’m going to attempt to publish my daily time logs, even if they are sparse. I hope it will hold me accountable, and maybe at the end you can help me analyze the ways I can streamline and use my time more wisely.

MONDAY

5:30am – Up with my son

6:00 – Write morning pages

6:30 – Read with my son

6:45 – Wake up my daughter / Read a book

7:00 – Morning routine: breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish packing lunches and backpack

7:45 – Drop off daughter at school

8:00 – Drive to work (listen to podcast)

8:45 – Arrive at work / Start teaching

9:45 – Drive to other campus

12:05pm – Work through lunch

12:40 – Start teaching again

2:30 – End school day / Make copies

3:00 – Drive home (listen to music)

3:45 – Arrive home / Change clothes / Get on bike

4:00 – Return / Check-out books at library (for daughter’s homework)

4:20 – Pick up son (talk about attempted biting)

4:30 – Ride bike to daughter’s after care

4:45 – Pick up daughter (talk about not taking art supplies without asking)

5:00 – Ride home

5:10 – Arrive home / Start daughter’s HW

5:30 – Start dinner / Get on elliptical (kids watch TV)

6:15 – Kid’s dinner

6:30 – Finish daughter’s HW

6:45 – Start son’s bath; wash his hair and body

7:00 – Get in bath with kids

7:30 – Shower (without kids)

7:45 – Start son’s bedtime

8:15 – Finish daughter’s bedtime / Start new book

9:00 – Revise story for work

9:30 – Dinner with husband (in front of TV)

10:00 – Create activity for story

10:30 – Get ready for bed

11:00 – Sleep

TUESDAY 

5:45am – Up with my son / Snuggle and read books

6:45 – Wake up my daughter / Read book

7:00 – Morning routine : breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish packing lunches and backpack

7:40 – Drop off daughter at school

8:00 – Drive to work (listen to podcast)

8:45 – Arrive at work / Start teaching

9:45 – Drive to other campus

10:00 – Arrive at work / Get ready for classes

12:00pm – Work through lunch

12:40 – Teaching

2:30 – School’s out / Prep for tomorrow

3:00 – Staff Meeting

4:00 – SCTA Meeting

4:30 – Drive home (listen to music)

5:15 – Pick up daughter

5:30 – Arrive home / Start laundry and dinner

5:45 – Daughter’s HW

6:00 – Daughter watches TV while I respond to comments

6:30 – Dinner with daughter

6:45 – Son home from grandparents’ house / Kids in bath

7:00 – Move laundry / Start this blog post

7:30 – Son’s bedtime : Brush teeth / Read books

8:00 – Son uses potty / Wash daughter’s hair

8:10 – Snuggle son

8:40 – Daughter’s bedtime : She read’s a book / I read a book

9:10 – Fold laundry / Chat with husband / Snack

9:30 – Finish blog post

9:50 – Start PowerPoint for tomorrow

10:00 – Snuggle with daughter who is still up (WHY?!) / Fall asleep

10:30 – Wake up / Get ready for bed / Pack car / Schedule blog post

10:45 – Go to bed

Controlled Chaos

Life is kind of kicking my ass right now. Most days I’m just attempting to hold it together. Duct tape and string.

My schedule continues to pummel me. I feel like I need a whole week of prep days just to get where I can avoid spending each period running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I’ll definitely have to take about 8 hours at school this coming weekend or the one after to make copies, score and input, and generally get on top of things a bit.

I have RSVPed for tours at two nearby locations of a Spanish immersion preschool I’ve heard good things about. The problem is that neither of the locations is particularly easy for my husband to get to on public transportation, and the tuition is a full $450 a month more than we’re currently paying (which is already $350 a month more than we were paying for our daughter). It’s a lot of money we hadn’t budgeted for for the next 36 months, but every placeI’ve looked into (that have long enough ours to accommodate our needs) costs at least that much. I’m starting to feel a fair bit of envy toward those that can afford a nanny. Not having to worry about restrictive hours and remote locations would be so helpful.

As far as the need for a new daycare, there was one biting report last week, but my son wasn’t sent home. Evidently he tried to bite someone today but they stopped him, thank god. I really don’t know what to do to help him get over this.

I took him to the pediatrician on Friday and, as I suspected, it was a totally useless appointment. After he made sure there were no hearing or speech issues that might be causing confusion or frustration, he basically told me what I already know, that there is nothing really we can do (that we aren’t already doing), and it sucks to be the parents of the “biter.” Yeah. Tell me about it. I’m supposed to contact Kaiser’s family psych department but I was underwhelmed by them when I took my daughter so I’m not sure I’ll even bother. It’s probably not worth the $25 co-pay and 2+ hours.

So yeah, the whole could-get-kicked-out-of-our-daycare-at-any-time situation continues to create a significant amount of stress. I spend all morning holding my breath, waiting to get a call from the preschool, and then I move at a frenetic pace to get out of work early enough to pick my son up before the second hour on the playground. I hate having no control, at the mercy of my almost-3-year-old’s behavior and my child care providers judgement. It’s incredibly stressful, and it’s eating away at my sanity. I don’t know what we’ll do if we are asked to leave before we have something else set up.

But there are some positive developments as well. My daughter’s homework has gotten much more manageable. There are still a lot of pages each night, but each one doesn’t take 10-15 minutes to finish. I also appreciate that the homework packet is due on Mondays, so we have the weekend to finish up if we get behind.

The AC in my modular at work was fixed. It’s been out for over a week, and with three days in the 90’s, it was really miserable. Classrooms in California don’t generally have air conditioning, but modulars do because they are basically giant metal boxes with no natural air flow. I already had a window fan because I generally try to avoid AC when possible, but it’s wasn’t nearly enough to keep a giant metal box filled with 33-34 people bearable when it was 90* out. The temperature in my classroom was topping out at 95* last week and there were moments I felt like I was suffocating it got so stuffy; I’m REALLY glad we have a working air conditioner again.

I found a new way to get to work that provides a higher chance if on-time arrival (and by on-time I mean within 1-2 minutes of the bell ringing, which is better than 5-7 minutes after it rings, which happened three times last week when the traffic was bad). Thank god I have a co-teacher in that class or I’d be panicking every morning on the way to work.

I started tracking my time today. I’m curious to see what I find, but don’t expect the results to be very enlightening (I think I have a pretty decent grasp on how I’m spending my time). Still, it’s a valuable exercise, especially as I attempt to streamline the tasks that are time intensive. I hope I learn something productive, or see some opportunities to use my time more wisely.

Finally, I’ve noticed that all the stress and uncertainty are really stoking my desire to buy things. It’s very obvious to me that I’m looking for something shiny and new to distract me from everything I don’t want to think about. I’ve kept a decent handle on it, but I’m so tired of rampant consumerism being my go-to way of managing intense emotions. It’s just hard to keep it under control, and I feel exhausted all the time when I’m in the midst of one of these “dreaming of a shopping spree” episodes. I’m just tired of talking myself out of a bunch of unnecessary purchases. It’s redundant and boring and makes me feel bad about myself.

This week is really busy, with a staff meetings at work, my daughter’s Back to School night and the monthly PTA meeting. My evenings are going to be packed, so I probably won’t post again this week. I hope things eventually settle down so I can return to writing (and responding to comments) like I used to. I hate when life pulls me away from this space.

Streamlining

I finished up the first week and a half of work feeling like I was totally fucked and there was no way I could make it through the year with my sanity intact.

Then I listened to a four part series on Note to Self (it’s called “Taking the Lead” — sorry I’m not sure how to link to podcasts) about two women trying to create an app/service that helps working mothers fill in the gaps so they don’t have to drop the ball at work or at home when shit goes amiss. And as I listened to their story, and heard the sound bites from so many other woman struggling to make it work when there just aren’t enough hours in the day, I felt something inside me shift. And suddenly I didn’t need to come here to kvetch anymore. Because even though, at the end of the series nothing was solved and no one had any answers, just knowing that I wasn’t alone made me feel 100% better. It’s amazing how cathartic identifying with someone else’s narrative can be.

I was also reminded of how good I have it in so many ways. I chose to be a teacher because I thought the hours would promote a work/family balance that most office jobs can’t. And while the inflexibility of my job can be exasperating (no tele-commuting for me), I really have been very lucky for the past six years in find ways to work with my administration to create a schedule that works (at least moderately) well for may family.

Of course, the gains for my family have been at the expense of my work, or better said, my mental well-being at work. At best I’ve been coasting at work for the last six years, getting by on my years of experience and all the systems, and curriculum, I created. At worst I’ve been struggling and sometimes even dropping the ball. Being at home more with my family means I’m at work less to get things done. And while I have become more efficient, which saves time, there are hours I do need to be there, and that always means picking my kids up later than I want to.

And of course there are the things I need and want to do to stay healthy and happy, like working out or seeing friends. It’s just really hard to find the time for everything.

Yes, I know, I’ve written this exact post. Many time.

But truly, this year, with my insane schedule, time is at premium in ways it never has been before. The other campus that I start at is farther away and takes a lot longer to get to, except I’m supposed to be there earlier than before. I generally arrive 2-3 minutes before the final bell, which would be totally panic inducing if it weren’t for the teacher I’m working with, who is totally understanding and happy to start the class without me.

I don’t have much travel time between schools either, which means I arrive at my school only 10 minutes before I start teaching there, which doesn’t leave much time to prepare. All this to say, I have to make copies and do set up at the end of the day, and I have to take any grading home, where I’m also planning, answering emails, and inputting scores.

At this point, it feels my day is scheduled down to the minute; if I stop and talk to someone for 15 minutes before I get into my car, the whole evening could be thrown off.

Basically, I need to start streamlining. I’m going to spend this month looking hard at how I’m spending my time in an attempt to make more deliberate choices about what I’m doing and when. If I look at one day, things feel impossible, but if I have the entire week in mind, it feels more manageable.

This means I need to be more organized, I need to have systems in place so I can see the week in front of me and make intentional choices about when I’m going to work out, when I’m going to pick up the kids early (and when it’s going to have to be okay that they wait), when I’m going to prep meals, when the kids are going to take baths, when I’m going to grade papers and input scores, and so on.

Planning my life like this won’t leave a lot of space for spontaneity, but it might actually allow me to do all the things I need to do, while still allowing me some of the important things I want, like quality time with my kids and husband, and the occasional meal out with a friend.

I’ve identified a few areas that I know require large chunks of time, or generally take more time than I think is truly necessary: shopping (for groceries and household goods), house pick-up, meal prep (includes lunches), exercise, my daughter’s homework, bedtime routine, prepping for work. I hope to spend time here this month, writing about my current systems (or lack thereof) and brainstorming ways to streamline processes to make them less time consuming and more efficient.

I find that I spend a lot of time attempting to do two or more things at the same time, and then am surprised when quality time with my kids is lacking in the quality department, when I spent much of it folding laundry or picking up things around the house. At the very least, I hope by streamlining and scheduling, I can dedicate myself to one task at a certain time, so I don’t feel so harried throughout the whole day. This may mean that ultimately I don’t get as much done during any given time period, but hopefully that will be okay, because I’ll be using my other time more wisely.

Wish me luck as I try to figure all this out. I know there is a lot of room for improvement when it comes to how effectively I use my time, I just hope I can make meaningful changes before this school year gets the best of me.

What is one area of your life you’d like to streamline more?

And Me Makes Three

I ended up getting the bug two hours after I wrote about my son getting it.

He and I spent the night throwing up together. At one point I was on his bed, throwing up into a bucket to my right while I held another bucket for him to throw up in on my left. It was surreal. And awful.

{And yes, my husband was helping, but I knew he had a long day ahead of him and figured he could use the sleep, since I wasn’t going to get any feeling as sick as I did.}

My son stopped throwing up at 4:30am, exactly 12 hours after he started, and woke up at 8am feeling great. I was not as lucky. While I never threw up again on Saturday, I felt terrible and was stuck in bed for most of the day. I did try to help here and there, when I could tell my family was really struggling, but mostly I let myself rest, of necessity more than anything else.

By Sunday morning I was feeling better. I even met up with a friend for brunch (but didn’t eat anything) and took my daughter to the zoo. This morning I felt like me again.

We’ve had kind of a rough go of it in August. First lice, then my daughter started school, then I started school, then my son was suspended for biting, then three of us got sick. I’m really hoping September treats us better.

In more exciting news, our cat caught a mouse… in our entry way. I think they are coming inside because I realized they were eating the organic kitty litter I was keeping in the garage (it’s corn based!) and I removed it, so now they have nothing to eat. We are really and truly buying traps now, so if you have any recommendations, please share. We’d like the traps to kill them with as little suffering as possible, require limited touching of the the bodies afterward, and if possible be somewhat cat safe (our cat gets into the garage sometimes, despite all we do to keep her out).

One more question for you: Would you wear a shoe that you cat cornered the mouse in for a fair amount of time (say five minutes)? There is no visible trace that the mouse was in there, but you know it was, so yeah, would you wear it again? Obviously, I’m asking for a friend.