Not a Wasted Word

We officially have a two double digit kids! That is weird to think. And we survived the 10yo turning 10!

The weekend went pretty well. Friday two friends and I banded together to plan an impromptu 13th birthday party for another friend’s daughter. This friend finally got Covid – her first time! – and she has been laid out all week. Obviously she couldn’t throw the surprise party she had planned for her daughter on Friday night. So the three of us came together to plan something for her and our daughters. This is the group of moms I because close with during the pandemic. Our four daughters have been friends since preschool and still love each other. The four of us moms love each other. It’s the kind of group I always dreamed I might one day be a part of, but never dared to hope would ever happen. But it has, and I’m so grateful and Friday was a reminder of how wonderful it can be.

Saturday morning my husband and I took our daughter to the SFUSD enrollment fair. We didn’t really learn anything about the schools, but it was our first time dipping our toes in the BIG FEELINGS that all of us only beginning to acknowledge about this process. So while it wasn’t really worth it in some ways, I feel like it was good that we went.

It was also our son’s opportunity to stay home alone for the longest stint yet. We reviewed what he should do if there is an earthquake (NOT get under our storage table that sits on four shaky bed risers) or a fire (NOT get water) and left him to play video games while we were away for about an hour. In the past he hasn’t wanted to stay home alone, so it was nice to see him feel more self assured. We’re hoping next year he’ll walk home from school alone at least three days a week, so getting used to being alone now is important.

After the enrollment fair my son and I took the 13yo to Art. We walked to Stow Lake in Golden Gate Park and ate lunch, and then bought some stuff I needed for his birthday sleep over while we waited. I usually wouldn’t bring him to that, but we knew it was going to be hard to kill the hours on Saturday so we made an outing of it. It was fun.

After Art, my husband and I picked up and cleaned the house for the sleep over, and for my parents coming over on Sunday after the sleep over. My house frequently drives me crazy, but I will say that it is at a place where I can get it presentable without too much effort or stress. I’m really looking forward to getting rid of more stuff, so that it looks presentable for no good reason!

And speaking of getting rid of stuff, I listened to Shira Gill’s episode of Edit Your Life (because of SHU‘s recommendation) and I really liked her. Discussions around minimalism can really irk me (and I have a lot of Minimalism blogs in my Feedly!) but I found her very refreshing. (Maybe because she’s also from the Bay?) Having said that, a couple of the things she mentioned were absolute no-gos for me. She was very taken with the idea of not having a linen closet at all, and just having one set of sheets for each bed that you wash and put back on over and over. Just hearing about that made me feel so panicked! What do you do when a kid throws up on their one set in the middle of the night? Or you take them off and then get distracted and they aren’t washed and dried before bedtime that night? We have SO MANY sets of sheets, ones that are in the regular rotation and old sets that only come out when someone is visiting, and I have no desire to get rid of any of them. I was thinking of that as I pulled some old sheets out for my son’s friends last night, which I had ready even though another couple sets were still dirty in the garage from the camping trip all those weeks ago. It just goes to show that everyone’s idea of “parring down” looks different and I think I’m finally at a place where I can trust my own instinct when it comes to getting rid of stuff.

So back to the weekend… my son’s friends were all over by 6pm. They played video games together on the Switch. Ate pizza. Decorated insulated cups with stickers (their “party favor”). Enjoyed cake and ice cream (cake courteous of my mom, who brought it up when she picked up my daughter to save her from the 10yo invasion). Watched the new Ninja Turtles Movie. Played on their own iPads for a bit. Went to sleep. Woke back up to mess around on their iPads at an ungodly hour. Went back to sleep (at my strident urging). Woke up around 8am. Played on their own devices for a while again. Ate ube mochi pancakes. Brushed teeth and packed up. Played more video games together on the Switch. Started being a little mean to each other so we shut it down. Played Tacos vs. Burritos with my husband, then left around 11:30am. All in all, it was a success.

My son only had to wait an hour after that for my parents to come back up. Then he opened his family presents. He got a couple video games, some shirts, some Five Nights at Freddy’s toys, and a ton of table top games (yay Amazon prime day!) My parents brought up pozole and we enjoyed more of my mom’s cake. By 3pm they were heading out. (My inlaws are in Texas so they couldn’t be with us today). My husband has been doing dishes all weekend and I’ve been doing laundry and so now the house is in pretty good shape, considering how many people have come in and out in the last 24 hours.

I’m on the elliptical now, writing this. The kids are playing some more video games. They’ve already done their chores and are both pretty tired. We plan to play Mysterium (one of the new games) together tonight. And my son and I might watch the first episode of the new season of Loki (we just finished Ahsoka and LOVED it).

A bunch of students turned in late work this weekend (and followed my direction of commenting on the assignment in google classroom when they did!) so I need to check those and update my grade book. I also need to look over the week with my husband, and make sure we’re both on the same page about what is happening and when. Finally, my daughter and I need to plan our decorations for Trunk or Treat, which we’re participating in at her school this Friday. Our theme is Pokemon and we have A TON of stuffies and other toys, we just need to figure out how to use them. I already ordered the center piece of the decorations, and it came today and it’s great. I’m excited to do this with her this year.

Okay, that was a long post. I guess at this point in my life I can show up for a giant word vomit about once a week. It’s not ideal, but it’s where I’m at and I’m trying to be okay with it.

It’s been a pretty decent week. I’ve continued to make headway in getting stuff out of the house. I cleaned up the back room, which had become a dumpster fire, both physically and emotionally (for me at least). My husband has indeed been stepping up since he started feeling better, which has provided me with some much needed margins in the afternoons. I also decided I’m going to work out four days a week again, instead of five, because that fifth workout was adding more stress than it was relieving.

We’re having another heat wave but its supposed to break today. Two of my friends have Covid again, and I feel like it’s just a matter of time before I get hit again. I haven’t looked into getting the new booster, but I should. My initial feelers suggested Kaiser was not going to make it easy, and I haven’t felt like fighting for it yet. But I should.

I did get a sports medicine appointment and went on Monday. I have some mild degeneration at L5-S1 which I guess is common. She referred me for physical therapy but I never got a call from them. Hopefully next week (I only remembered to email her today and let her know that they never called me).

We finished our Murakami puzzle. Our cat actually flipped it over last Sunday so we hard to start it all over again (we were over half way done). It was a giant bummer, and if my husband wasn’t so good at puzzles I probably would have given up. But we started again and after looking for – and finding! – missing pieces we finally finished it yesterday. It was very satisfying.

I went to a high school info night on Wednesday that actually felt worth my time. The next six weeks will be turned a little upside with high school tours and info nights and applications. I will be very happy when it’s over. It’s really hard for me to take a couple hours off in the middle of the day, but I have to do that four times in November, at least.

I got the cats into the vet – and after school! It feels like a miracle.

Our friends had their baby. It’s their second child and she was born just four days before my son’s birthday. It had me thinking a lot about when he was born, 10 years ago. I went onto Shutterfly and downloaded some pictures onto my phone. We looked very happy then. I remember being happy. I remember really appreciating my time with him, because I knew he was my last baby and I couldn’t believe I got to do it all again. I was so grateful.

It’s looking like our anniversary getaway will just be two nights somewhere close by. I’m trying to process my disappointment quickly. I know we’re lucky to get away at all. But I guess I thought things would be easier for us by now. And for a short while they seemed to be. But things feel really tight again and it feels like were constantly having conversations about what we can’t afford anymore. It doesn’t feel great. Inflation is really real. Lifestyle creep is real. We need to be better at budgeting.

This weekend is full. Hopefully it will also be fun. We shall see. I’m trying to go into it with realistic expectations. Our son is handling his birthday better than he has… maybe ever? I really hope he enjoys his sleep over. I really hope I don’t regret throwing it.

It’s 11:30 and I still have 35 slide deck activities to score. Boo. Better get at it.

My husband and I try to do a little debrief on Sunday nights, to make sure all the pieces fit for the next seven days. This week is going to be a doozy, culminating in our son’s 10th birthday on Sunday. I have to admit,. I will be relieved once it’s over.

And I know I was just singing the praises of parenting older kids, but today was a reminder that it’s not all unicorn farts and fairy queefs. Both my kids were sporting some serious attitude today and I had to take deep breaths several times to keep from losing my shit on them. They are generally pretty down to go somewhere or try something, even if the initial transition to leaving the house is difficult, but today it felt like everything we suggested was met with with groans and eye rolls. No thank you!

But we got through it. And we enjoyed the Yayoi Kusama exhibit at the SFMoMA, along with some really great photography exhibits downstairs. We also made it to the library to pick up some books on hold, even though it was a full two blocks out of our way (but we already walked for sooooo long!). We even got boba, which was several blocks farther, but did not elicit the complaints that walking to the library did. Strange.

Last week was a strange one not just because we got back from out trip on Tuesday evening, but also because the kids had teeth cleanings on Wednesday, and because the dojo was offering limited classes. This week my son and I are back at the dojo, my daughter is back at swimming, and starting a new Portfolio Prep class on Tuesdays, I have my sports medicine appointment tomorrow and my allergy shot on Tuesday.

This weekend is the SFUSD enrollment fair and my son’s birthday sleep over with three friends. Then his family birthday on Sunday with just my parents (my in-laws are out of town). He hasn’t asked for many presents and we didn’t get him much after Universal Studios. I’m really hoping he handles it well. Presents have always been a thing he cares a lot about, but this year he clearly doesn’t want as much and seems sometimes to be fine knowing he’s not getting much and sometimes he clearly struggles with it. It’s all just a part of growing up, but I’ll be glad when the day is over and we’re past whatever reaction he has.

Work should be relatively low key this week. I only have one more online training module to complete before Saturday, so that should be doable. I’ve gotten all the assessments and projects scored, which feels nice. On Friday my student teacher and her advisory and I met for her first evaluation meeting. It used up my entire prep, but at least it’s over and there is only one more. I have found this to be a rewarding experience in many respects, but I doubt I’ll be agreeing to take on another student teacher any time soon. In the end I’m losing more time than I’ll be getting back when she does her solo weeks, and the stipend is so small as to be almost more troubling than being offered nothing at all ($120 for the entire semester – after taxes it honestly doesn’t feel worth filling out the W-9). When I think about how much she is paying the school, and how little they are reimbursing me, it’s not a great feeling.

But we don’t get into teaching for the money right?! We do it for the respect and appreciation we receive from students and parents alike!

For real, it’s demoralizing to be reminded constantly that our culture does not value what we do at all. It’s a giant bummer.

My husband is finally feeling better, after being down for the count pretty much all week. I”m looking forward to having some help next week, and weekend. Did I mention we’ll have four 10-year-old boys over here Saturday night?! I just hope we get some sleep.

Our trip to Universal Studios was a resounding success. We all had a great time and made a ton of happy memories. It was absolutely all we could have hoped it would be, and our almost 10yo was very happy with this special trip we took to celebrate his double digit birthday.

Saturday: Driving to LA

We left at 8am on Friday, only 15 minutes later than planned. We stopped to grab a dozen bagels on our way out of the Bay Area, and I wouldn’t realized until several hours later that when my key ring opened there, my ADHD medicine container rolled under the counter so I didn’t see it. Not having my ADHD meds was absolutely the biggest wrinkle in the whole weekend, and I handled it fine. It was actually nice to learn that I can manage the insanity of long car trips (I’m always the only driver) and hyper stimulating environments without my meds. It’s not what I would have chosen, but I’m proud of how I handled it.

We had a couple hiccups charging the car on I-5, especially at the Grapevine, where demand far outstrips supply, but we never had to wait more than 10 minutes to start charging, and the super fast stations really do charge super fast, so we never felt like we were losing much time. We ended up charging in Los Banos, then Kettleman City, then in Lebec (though we realized we didn’t really need that last charge, but we were happy to not need to charge it again before we left LA).

There were definitely moments when I felt frustrated at the stress of finding a charger that was open and functioning, but ultimately it was not really an issue. When we last drove the car down south – to San Diego in 2018 – we had to take 99 because there weren’t any fast chargers on I-5. So things have definitely improved, just not as much as one would expect in five years in California.

We did make it to my friends’ BBQ, but I missed one friend because we got there later than expected. We only ended up staying for about an hour, and I was a little disappointed at the time, but it was nice to see a couple people I hadn’t seen in several years.

We checked in to our hotel around 7:30pm and were pretty beat, so we went to bed early.

Sunday: Day 1 at the park

The park opened at 8am on Sunday, but our hotel’s free shuttle only left on the hour, so we got there a little after the gates opened. My husband had installed the app earlier in the week, and had been watching wait times to see if there were patterns in their ebb and flow. Super Nintendo World, which just opened in the spring, was always packed in the morning but got more manageable in the afternoon, so we decided to avoid it first thing. Instead we went to the Jurassic World ride, which had almost no wait. My son and I have watched all the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies – he’ a big fan – so it was the perfect place to start. We were all super stoked with it as our first ride and everyone was smiles when it was over. We didn’t even get that wet!

My husband and daughter went on the Mummy ride while my son and I hit up the Nintendo World store and then went back up the escalators to Springfield, aka Simpsons World, where we met the rest of the family in the Kwiki-Mart.

My son is super in The Simpsons right now, so he was very excited to be in Simpson world. I have to admit, the attention to detail pretty much everywhere is very impressive.

The Harry Potter ride had a pretty decent wait, so we headed there next. I have to admit, since we just visited the Harry Potter studios north of London last summer, I was less interested in the Harry Potter area at Universal Studios, butyt it was really impressive.

Pretty much all of the rides at Universal are doing the same thing, which would be a bummer, except they do that one thing really, really well. And that one thing is making a ride that is actually a movie that you move through very fast. Kung Fu Panda is a giant theater where the seats move a little and you feel wind and a little water on you as the story takes place on screens that surround you on three walls. The Simpsons ride has you in a car thing with 8 people that raises up into a 360 screen and moves you around a lot. By the time you get to Harry Potter, you’re in a row of four seats that is being flung from one bubble screen to the next as you switch between insane movie clips and animatronics. Harry Potter was an exceptional ride, but it also made me very, very motion sick. For the last third I was just wishing it were over, and I passed up an opportunity to go again at the end of the second day. It was too much for me.

But the line sets were exceptional. I have to admit, they do give you a lot ot look at while you wait 60+ minutes for their most popular rides.

After Harry Potter we went on The Simpsons ride. The apparatus was less impressive, but I loved the story of the ride, and the way the built up the story even during the safety videos and other media we saw in line. It was one of my favorite experiences over all.

And since we were already in “Springfield,” we went to Krusty Burger for lunch. They had a one-hour loop of restaurant-themed Simpsons moments that was just coming back around when we left.

After lunch we went to the Studio Tour. We decided an hour of sitting and looking around was exactly what we needed at that point in the long, hot day.

I’ve been to Universal Studios once, exactly 30 years ago on a school trip at the end of 8th grade. I remember absolutely nothing about my visit to the park, except the escalators (you have to use four super long escalators to go from the “Lower Lot” where Transformers, Jurassic World, and now Super Nintendo World live, to the “Upper Lot” where everything else is) and two parts of the Studio Tour. The parts of the Studio Tour I remembered were this street that floods on demand and the Jaws area.

Now they have some cool Jurassic Park stuff, and I have to admit, this scene with an actual downed 747 (from War of the Worlds) was really impressive.

We also got to drive through the Jupiter Claim set from Nope, which I just watched last weekend. That was super cool.

And of course, you get to drive past the Bates Motel, and the house on the hill from Psycho.

Most of the tour is just on a big tram being driven around the sets and back lots, but there are two parts where they drive the tram into a tunnel full of screens and do ride simulators – one for King Kong and one for Fast and the Furious. Both are pretty impressive, especially when you consider they are moving this giant tram thing around.

After the Studio Tour we headed down to Super Nintendo World, where the wait times were more manageable. We got our son a Power Up Band so he could play some of the games down there. Luckily our daughter was okay not getting one because they cost $40! So many people were wearing them, they must be making a killing off those things.

The Mario Kart ride wait was only 60 minutes at the end of the day Saturday so we went for it. Again, the attention to detail in the line was impressive.

The Mario Kart ride was probably my least favorite. You are supposed to be driving and shooting at stuff. It was chaotic and I never really understood what was going on. The interface is definitely impressive, but if I had to wait three hours for that ride (as many do), I’d be pretty annoyed.

We had reserved spots on the 4:30pm shuttle that day because we figured we’d be pretty fried after so many hours in the 95* heat. And we were correct! By 4:30pm we were ready to go, but also excited we had another day at the park.

When we got back to the hotel the kids went swimming with my husband while I grabbed some margaritas and milk from Whole Foods and burritos at a nearby Mexican food drive through. We ate on the little raised hang out area above the pool. Then we passed out early again.

Monday: Day 2 at the park

We originally planned to spend only one day at the park, purchasing the early access to Super Mario World for that day. But then I talked to a few people and we decided that since it was only $20 more a person for a whole second day (instead of just early access), we decided to do that. And I’m glad we did. The second day ended up being more crowded (this surprised us because it was a Monday), but we didn’t mind because we’d already done most of what we wanted to do. The park opened at 9am on Monday, but we still got the 8am shuttle, so we could be there before the park opened. We were in all the lines to get to the “Lower Lot” right at 9am, but we were trying to get on the Transformers ride, not go to Super Nintendo World. But when we got down there Transformers was closed (just like the day before) so we headed with everyone else to Super Nintendo World. We stood in line for some of the key games, with my husband in one line and me in the other. Then Transformers opened right as my son and I were getting to the front of our line, so my husband and daughter went on that ride while we won our first key.

The line was so short they actually went on it and then met us in line to go again. Transformers has one of the longest lines in the park and I understand why – it’s a killer ride. It gave me a bit of a tension headache (I think it was the 3D glasses), but it was still super fun. I would have gone again if the wait time wasn’t always 120+ minutes.

After Transformers we did Jurassic World again. Then we went back up the escalators to do some of the smaller scale rides we had missed the day before. Kung Fu Panda and Minions were both short lines, but fun rides. We had another early lunch, then headed to the front of the park for the Waterworld show.

It’s funny because Waterworld was not a very popular movie, but the show at Universal Studios has been a big hit since it opened over a decade ago. We were told not to miss it, and we were glad we didn’t. Even with a little technical difficulty that stalled the show for a few minutes, it was a super impressive event. There are jetski tricks, pyrotechnics, water stunts, explosions and more. We avoided the splash zone seats and I’m glad we did, because those people got really wet.

We spent the rest of the second afternoon just walking around and enjoying all the details in all the areas. We also made our final choices at the gift shops and did some damage to our wallets. Super Nintendo World hit us hardest, but we got some cool stuff (tshirt for daughter, sweatshirt for son, and Mr. Toad hat for my class).

We ended the trip in Super Nintendo World, where my son got his three keys and we were all invited to fight Bowser Jr. in his castle. This was a really innovative, immersive experience, and I’m glad we saved it for the end of the trip.

Monday night we went to our friends’ new house for dinner, which was really fun. I have never appreciated a home cooked meal more! It was also fun to see our friends and get a tour of their new house. They really wanted us to come by and I’m glad it worked out.

Tuesday morning my husband got up early and charged the car while I got us packed up. The kids ate cereal in our hotel room every morning and we did that Tuesday as well. By 9am the car was charged and packed. We stopped and charged the car in Santa Clarita, Kettleman City and Los Banos on the way home. We came back via the South Bay, which I appreciated because we missed some East Bay and Bridge traffic at the end. We ended up listening to 8 hours (over half!) of The Creeping Shadow (4th Lockwood & Co) book, along with several episodes of the 99% Invisible podcast.

{Oh, and I want to mention that my husband rocked it on this trip. He managed all the car charging logistics – he was the one identifying options and watching availability. He also managed the park app and was always watching to see how long wait times were and ushering us to different areas as they became less crowded. He even ordered our meals on the app so we didn’t have to wait in the restaurant lines. The trip would have been way more stressful and frustrating without him and I hope I expressed my gratitude adequately because I certainly felt it.}

When we got home we ate dinner and I worked out on the elliptical machine so I could start writing this post. And now I’m finishing it on Wednesday night, because if I don’t I never will and it won’t go up and I uploaded too many pictures for that to happen.

Re-entry has been a little rough, but Wednesday was the best day for me to do it, so I can’t complain. The kids even got their teeth cleaned this afternoon! Tomorrow is my killer day at work, then it’s Friday! Can’t really bitch about a three day week.

All in all I’m really happy with the trip. Now we’ve taken both kids to Disneyland and California Adventure, Legoland, and Universal Studios. I hope to take them back to Disneyland and California Adventure now they they are older and will be more interested in the rides, but otherwise I think we’ve hit all the California amusement parks. We’re lucky there are so many that are relatively nearby.

This post is going to be all over the place, so I apologize if you were hoping for a coherent narrative.

Honestly, I can barely see my screen right now because this eye ointment is blurring my vision pretty dramatically. I usually don’t put it in until right before bed, but I wanted to be sure to pack the little tube so I put it in early.

Except it’s not that much before bed. It’s 9:55pm and I’m just getting on the elliptical machine. I’m starting so late because I wanted to be pretty much ready to go before I started working out. But mostly I’m on this late because we’ve had a searing heat wave this week and my house is still a stifling 85*, despite the cooler air I’m finally feeling outside. At least it’s not 90* in here, like it was when I got home.

It’s hard to manage heat waves when you don’t have a real way to cool your house. We’re lucky that the night air usually cools up here in the city – even down on the peninsula where I work it can stay pretty warm at night – but we don’t have enough fans to bring the cool air in. The two best fans are in the kids’ rooms, which leaves the living rooms pretty stagnant. Luckily our room is downstairs and at the back of the house, so it usually stays quite a bit cooler.

Anyway, enough about heat waves. This is the first one we’ve had I think in all of 2023 (is that true?!) and it’s a doozy, and super later in the year, but we had conferences all week so we didn’t have students in our classrooms after 1pm, when it gets really sweltering. Honestly, I can’t really complain.

At least not about the heat wave.

I can complain about a few other things, mainly my husband and his untreated depression, but I really do think he’s willing to take steps to get help. He was going to call later this week, but of course Kaiser was experiencing a giant work stoppage, so it wasn’t the best time for him to finally reach out. He says he will after our trip, and I want to hold him to it, but it’s hard because I don’t want to come on too strong and make him upset. It’s a real high wire act trying to get someone experiencing depression to seek help. Especially when that person is your spouse.

And it’s fucking lonely. Holy shit is it lonely. Especially when your job is as isolating as mine is. Besides the dozens of parents I’ve met with this past week, I haven’t spoken to an adult at all. It’s rough.

He did step up to get some shit done for our trip. I still did the majority of the prep and packing, but he definitely took a few things off my plate. And I’m grateful for that. I’m really trying to recognize and acknowledge when he does stuff, for both our sake’s.

What else did I want to write about? I swear there was more…

I am all set for my sub on Tuesday. I even printed out my sub plans. Everything is posted on google classroom or available in my actual classroom. I do not have to think about work once before I return on Wednesday morning. That feels really good.

I’m looking forward to this trip. My kids are at a fun age and I love amusement parks. I think it will be a genuinely enjoyable time, not like when they were younger and I hoped to have fun for them. Now I think I’ll have fun for myself, with them. I don’t feel like I’m articulating it well, but it’s definitely a different mindset, one I’m pleased to be experiencing. I really do like parenting older kids so much more than I did parenting younger kids. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, since I’m a middle school teacher. I wonder how I’ll feel when my daughter is in high school…

It was interesting to meet with so many families this week, for student-led conferences. I really got to know some of my quieter students a lot better. It added so many dimensions. It was a long and exhausting week, but I’m glad to have done it. I’m so grateful our admin changed their plan, because I really do think this experience was positive because of the way we did it. I hope my colleagues feel the same.

I think I’m going to bring this post to a close. I want to read a couple things before I get off the elliptical, and I need to review my to-do list to make sure I’m as ready as I think I am. I will say, packing for a long weekend in LA is way easier than packing for two nights of camping. I’m so glad we aren’t camping this weekend. ;D

And Monday was one of those times. Because I made it to Kaiser quickly enough to be seen on Monday, and to be prescribed an antibiotic ointment for this weird eye infection I’ve had since Friday evening and really didn’t want to have this weekend on our trip.

And I was able to get my flu shot while I was there and re-up my T-DAP because it’s been 10 years and if anyone ever offers me increased immunity to something I always accept it.

And it’s so good I went Monday instead of waiting for the appointment I already had scheduled for Friday, because there is a “work shortage” planned for the rest of the week, and that appointment was actually cancelled.

Im just so glad it worked out because it was stressful to get up there and I was annoyed by having to show up in person after my symptoms were not understood clearly enough over the phone. But in the end I was so glad I went.

And I showed up to teach Basics and it was the biggest adult class I’ve ever taught and I made a bunch of mistakes, but instead of focusing on those I’m focusing on how I showed up even though my eye was driving me crazy.

It turns out Sunday was not quite the weekend day I needed (like Saturday was) but I made it through. And my husband got home and I’ve been letting him take back his regular household stuff, and then some, without saying thank you. Im also being careful to model the “no sulking or heavy sighing after a parental absence” that I need so badly when I go away. Because it was really fine while he was gone and I’m glad he had a good time.

October is shaping up to be super busy, but much if the busy is fun and I’m trying to embrace it. Things are busy at work too, but Day of the Dead is my favorite unit and that starts next week.

I even have a super easy sub day planned for Tuesday (we’ll be driving home from LA), so it shouldn’t take more than an hour to write plans and setup for it. Part of that was planning ahead this week and part of that was just letting my normal schedule go and giving one class and filler day on a site they love.

I’m actually pretty excited for Universal Studios. I love amusement parks and this one should have some stuff my son loves. And I found out a friend is having a BBQ on Saturday that we can probably make it to, so instead of seeing no college friends while I’m down there I’ll probably get to see a whole bunch. I’m super stoked for that. It should be a fun weekend.

Especially if this antibiotic ointment clears up this eye infection. But I already have oral antibiotics in my possession, in case it’s not up to the task, and the work stoppage makes it impossible to fill it before I go.

Sometimes it really does work out.

It turns out, this may just be the weekend I needed. Last night I watched Theater Camp (it was fine, not much to it, but I laughed a bit) and went to bed too late. This morning I got five loads of laundry done, along with my regular weekend chores (sweeping and vacuuming, shaking out the rugs, actually cleaning the counters, etc). The house now feels more manageable. I’ve already scored three of the four assessments my classes took last week. My son and I had some really great QT while my daughter was at her grandparents’ house. We watched two episodes of Ahsoka (I love it!) and played Small World (a complicated, but fun table top game).

I only had both kids together for a few hours today, during which they played the new Dungeons and Dragons mod on Minecraft. It’s actually really cool, a narrative game that plays a lot like actual D&D. But the mod is pretty new and it kept crashing on them, so they only played for about an hour. Then my inlaws picked up my son so he won’t have to wake up at 6:30am to come to the swim meet tomorrow.

Tonight my daughter and I are going to watch a couple episodes of Twin Peaks and then head to bed early. She’s finally feeling nervous and stressed about the meet, so I don’t think she’ll want to hang out long. Which is for the best, because I really need to catch up on some sleep tonight.

Right now I’m on the elliptical and tomorrow I’ll do strength training, so even though I didn’t get to go to the dojo or run this weekend, I am getting my workouts in.

I’ve been thinking more about why this week was so rough at work. I think it was a couple things, the main one being all the new students. I don’t really understand why we’re getting so many new students over a month into the school year, but we are and it sucks. (We didn’t even get them all at the same time! Two started Monday and three started Wednesday. Why?! )I run a tight ship and my students know how to follow procedures by now, so I expect to move quickly from one activity to another. With new students EVERYTHING takes longer. And three of them don’t speak any English, so really I should be giving them English language development stuff. Which I don’t really have anymore because I haven’t taught that class since before the classroom move. Luckily my student teacher has been helping them a lot, but it’s still requiring a ton of my time.

{It seems like one of them should not be in a general education classroom – he will require intensive special education supports – so my guess he will not stay in my class. If he does stay he’ll be taking my class without English language development, because he has no reading or writing skill in Spanish, despite that being his first language. He can’t even say the numbers 1-10 in Spanish unless he’s naming them in order. If I point to one, he doesn’t know what it’s called. My student teacher has been spending a lot of time with him, and is really surprised with where he’s at. There is clearly a lot going on with him.}

Speaking of my student teacher, she is amazing but she is also leeching my prep time in ways I cannot handle. On Friday I needed to get a ton of stuff done, because I didn’t have a prep on Thursday and had to rush out immediately after school, but we spent the whole period talking about her upcoming solo teaching days. I know I’ll eventually get some of this time back, but right now it’s just slipping away from me and I am really struggling with how behind I get and how stressed I feel.

We also took assessments this week. My assessments require a lot of teacher leading, especially at the beginning of the year, so it’s not like I just got to work while they all took their tests. We won’t have assessments in my three 1A classes again until November, so that is good. Also, our next unit is a little less intense, as far as me leading lessons entirely in Spanish, so I think October will generally be less stressful than September.

I’m also not adding anything new to my plate. I just read about an activity that I think would be really fun and effective, but I’m not going to implement it this year. I did write myself a note to check it out again next fall, but right now I just can’t add anything that requires more prep. The only reason I’m surviving right now is I have everything I need ready to go. I’ve done so much prepping over the last two years to make this program great, and now I get to reap the rewards of all that work.

And of course my classes are big, and I’m learning to mange the extra work that comes with extra students. The good news is I can still run my program well, I just need to streamline some aspects of it. The free reading program is my biggest worry with such big classes, but that doesn’t start in earnest until the new year, so I have some time to figure out what to do to make it more manageable with such big numbers.

So after 24 hours to decompress and think more about it, I think work feels unmanageable less because of the big classes and more because of the new students and the student teacher. But honestly she is helping so much with the new students it’s probably a wash right now with time saved vs lost. Maybe, by the time the new students know what to do, and she is teaching more, I’ll feel a lot better. Then I can spend some of that extra time retooling my free reading program so it works with 130 students. It’s only 20 more than last year. I think I can do it. (I really love my free reading program and would hate to jettison it completely. It’s probably the part of my program I’m most proud of.)

I left my classroom today making myself take deep breaths and assuring myself, “You’re alright. It will be alight.”

If I’m already having to talk myself down like that before the first of October, that is not a good sign. There is no way I can maintain this level of overwhelm for an entire school year.

The good news is that after the five new students I got this week. I am at capacity as far as class size. So they can’t give me any other new students. That will help.

The bad news is I’m not sure I can run my program, even with the changes I already plan to make, for 130 7th and 8th graders. So I guess I have to figure out what I can jettison. And how I can accommodate the different levels that are in my classes right now.

I’m thankful it’s the weekend, and that I have swim meet time on Sunday to grade the piles of assessments and other work in my bag.

I’m alright. It will be alright.

This fall has been crazy. I’ve been meaning to look back at past Septembers here on the blog to see if the first month of school always feels this nuts. But even if school always feels really overwhelming, what is going on outside of school is what is making things feel untenable. We just have way too much going on. And right now we’re in the thick of it.

Last weekend was the camping trip. The weekend actually went well, only because I took Friday off. That gave me the margins I needed to enjoy Friday night camping and Saturday at home with the girls. Only sleeping in a tent one night also helped. The air quality got so much better by Sunday that I was able to run and that felt great. It was actually a pretty good weekend.

But this week is pretty nuts. My husband just left for a music festival in Memphis. His plane from DFW to Memphis was decommissioned, but they did eventually find them another plane. Then he got to his AirBnB after midnight only to find the key is not in the box. It’s 1:15am there now and he still doesn’t have a place to sleep. He’s trying not to feel like it’s all a sign that he shouldn’t have gone.

Work is crazy because conferences are next week and all my classes are taking assessments, and then starting projects that will take them through next week. We’re trying a new kind of student led conferences (again!) and many of the steps this week are unfamiliar and require more time than they should. Luckily our admin listened when we assured them the way they were trying to do conferences would not have worked. This way is new to us, but ultimately not that difficult. I’m so glad we’re not trying to make their original proposal work.

I got two new students on Monday and am getting three new students tomorrow. I do NOT do well with new additions so late in the year. At least now I have a full 32 kids in every one of my 7th/8th grade classes (and 35 in my 8th grade class!) so they actually cannot give me any more new students.

With my husband gone I’ll be getting to work a lot later tomorrow and Friday. It will be rough to lose that morning prep time, especially tomorrow when I have four block periods and no prep. But my in-laws are actually taking my son to school for me. If it weren’t for them, I’d have to take time off and get someone to cover my first classes. I’m very grateful for their help.

This weekend my daughter has her first swim meet. I swam competitively for much of middle and high school so it will be fun to see her dive in for her first race. It’s already a trip to be the parent, and not the swimmer. I keep asking my parents how I was registered for meets and other stuff for swimming, and of course it wasn’t online because online wasn’t a think in the 90s! It’s crazy to think how different basically everything was back then. And I’m only 43!

Next week is conferences, which will be exhausting. I’m also teaching Basics at the dojo on Monday. Plus I have to pack us all up because on Saturday we drive to Southern California to take the kids to Universal Studios for our son’s 10th birthday. He turns 10 later in the month, but Indigenous People’s Day is the observed by both our districts on the 9th so we’re taking advantage of the long weekend to take them down. Having three crazy weekends in a row (camping, solo parenting, Universal Studios) is a little more than I can manage, but I guess I have to do just that.

Oh, and high school tours open Sunday morning and later this month is the enrollment fair. There are few things I hate more about living in San Francisco that navigating SFUSD’s lottery, so I’m sure to handle all the uncertainty of which high school my daughter will go to next year with patience and grace.

…

BWAHAHA. Just writing that made me spit laugh all over my screen.

And now it’s 11:25pm, so I need to get myself to bed. I’m sorry my posts have been so sporadic lately. I’ll try to post more frequently.