Not a Wasted Word

It’s late Wednesday night and I’m starting tomorrow’s post because Thursday’s always suck and tomorrow is going to be a DOOZY, so I’m trying to get ahead of it.

Unfortunately I have no idea what to write about. Next month is going to be soooo fun!

I’m not sure about my “new” meds. I put new in quotes because I took it for a long time, a long time ago, so it’s not really new to me. I don’t really remember why I switched from it (Strattera) to Ritalin, but a month into taking Strattera again and I think I might have an idea. I definitely feel more… scattered right now. But I’m also getting a lot done. So I don’t know if it’s that I really am more scattered, or if it’s just a feeling. It’s hard to explain. I’m going to keep taking it for a couple more months before I decide if I’ll give it a full year or go back to Ritalin (or another stimulant). The recent week-long 15yo’s prescription refill drama is definitely factoring into my decision-making. I so wish ADHD meds weren’t always so hard to fill. Drives me crazy.

I am going to ask to go down to the .5mg Estrogen patch because my breasts are still really tender. I guess I wasn’t totally crazy in worrying about MHT side-effects! My body is really sensitive to hormones! I’m glad the only major issue is sore breasts. It could be a lot worse.

The husband’s snoring has been SO BAD since he got back. I’m actually looking for ear plugs. Anyone have an ear plug that actually muffles really bad snoring? Seems like an impossible feat.

It’s now late Thursday night and I haven’t added anything to this post. Boo!

Elizabeth casually mentioned Unicorn Girl in her post yesterday, and my ears perked WAY up because I’ve been struggling with my audiobook selection and a well-produced soap opera-y podcast about batshit crazy is just what I need right now. I started it on the way to work this morning and listened to the first four episodes today. It’s EXACTLY what I needed to make today better, and I’m so thankful that I “found” it. Thank you Elizabeth! (Yes, I also thanked her on her own post.)

This post is all over the place and saying nothing so maybe I should just put it out of its misery? I’m working on a Self Reflection assignment I gave my students (I always feel like I should complete new assignments myself) and it’s been pretty interesting so far. I’ll probably share my findings (or maybe the whole project) with you all later.

I guess I’ll end with this thought… Today my 1A classes did a set of stations that has always been super stressful, but this year it went pretty well. I guess I finally made enough tweaks, and they have compounded over the years of learning what DIDN’T work, so that now it finally does work! I appreciate that very much, because the final product of the day is pretty great, and now I know it’s possible without running myself totally ragged.

I’m also creating a new reading and speaking assessment based on a novel my 1B students just finished and I’m excited about that as well. I think I will be impressed with what they can produce, and it always feels good to be impressed by your students, especially when you taught them pretty much everything they know in the subject. 😉

I’m trying to post every other day in October. The goal has been to hit publish at some point during the “odd” days. I published Friday’s post on Saturday and then didn’t put anything up Sunday. Now it’s 10:30pm on Tuesday evening and I’m trying to get work done, but the fact that I’ve fallen off my posting wagon is nagging at me…

I have to admit, the week of solo parenting eventually caught up with me. The 11yo’s birthday party was pretty hard to host by myself, especially the hour in the “party” room where the boys were supposed to be eating pizza and drinking soda, but were instead playing with their food and drink. I would have just left early and taken them to a playground, but one kid was being picked up 15 minutes early from the trampoline park and another was being picked up from there at the original end time, so I couldn’t pack them all in the SUV and just leave. The last half hour of the party was interminable (they were not allowed to go back out and jump).

But I survived, and the 11yo was happy, and I’m so relieved it’s over. This weekend the grandparents are coming over, which means the house needs to be cleaned up. I don’t love the grandparent birthday parties at our house, but they have to happen so I will suck it up. This is the third weekend in a row I’ve not looked forward to, and I REALLY need Halloween weekend to break this spell. I need the weekends to be reprieves from the stresses of life, not their own little stress bombs waiting to detonate!

In happier news, the 15yo was invited to the group interview next weekend. She is thrilled. And so are we!

Tomorrow my youngest turns 12 and I have big feelings about it, but I promised him I wouldn’t make the day all about me. 😉

I managed to run today, which was a nice consolation prize since I couldn’t make it to the dojo (the husband had a late night commitment which made it hard for me to be at my late night class). Here is a photo from that run. Some trademark Bay Area fog for your viewing pleasure.

Unfinished and on the wrong day.

Things kind of fell apart last night but don’t worry! We’re all fine! I was going to tweak this post to publish it today but f*ck it. I’m posting it because who cares and I’m already a day late with it.

Fall has fallen!

The rain storm we had on Monday brought much cooler weather than we’ve been having. September and October are usually our warmest months, especially in San Francisco proper, but the air is finally feeling crisp and cool. On Monday our heat kicked on and we keep the thermostat at 62! I’m definitely here for the cooler weather, and I hope it keeps up, though I’m sure there will be some more surprisingly warm days before it officially cools off.

I pulled my Halloween leggings out of the shed last week and now I need to get my sweatshirt dresses and Ugg boots from the winter clothes box (also in the shed, but harder to access). I have a few Halloween decorations up in the house, and I got a couple new things for Spooky Spirit Week, which is the week of Halloween at school!

Half way through husband’s trip

The husband is in Amsterdam. It’s nine hours ahead. We can only chat on my way to work, when he’s in the middle of his day or on my drive home, when he’s out late. Needless to say we aren’t getting to talk much. I miss him! Solo parenting isn’t that hard as my kids are older and can do a lot themselves. Having said that I feel like I can never sit down because I have to take advantage of every moment. Part of this is because my inlaws are coming in the morning to help the 6th grader get up and to school, and they will clean anything I leave out, so I feel like I need to have my kitchen in pristine shape before I leave in the mornings. I hate for them to clean up my messes.

Getting to work has been kind of a shit show, because I need to feed the cats before I leave and that, combined with keeping my kitchen pristine, has me leaving later than usual. On Tuesday I hit so much traffic that it took an hour to get to work. On Wednesday I forgot my coffee and water. Thursday and Friday were better – I even got parking spots in the front on those days!

I’ve been making sure to get every last minute of prep done before I get to work, in case I pull up right before the bell rings. This takes a significant amount of time! I get a lot done in the normal 40+ minutes I have before the bell rings! I’ve also had to stay for 30-40 minutes after work most days this week, to do the stuff I can’t, or don’t want to, bring home.

The 11yo

My favorite sparring buddy is back at the dojo after a several-month hiatus (first for summer break, then for baseball). He came back at the perfect time because they are just starting their Junior Leadership program and he is interested in participating. I really hope he continues to find the dojo a fun and meaningful place to be.

After a ROUGH couple of weeks, things have been a lot better for him at school. I guess the one teacher he was having a hard time with (that he has for TWO classes), has gotten better. I wonder if someone else talked to him before we could? It seems like things in that class have changed significantly. Seems unlikely those changes happened organically…

He’s of course VERY EXCITED for his birthday. His friend party is this Sunday. His actual birthday (he’ll get his big present from us) is Wednesday, and his grandparent birthday party is next Sunday. He gets to feel special on THREE DAYS! Sounds about right.

Today I drove to his school, parked the car, found him and showed him how to take the 48 down to Mission and 24th and then how to walk from there to the dojo. We stopped in McDonalds to get him a 20 piece chicken nugget and a frozen Coke. The timing worked great for his 5pm class, which he could never get to on time if he tried to get home (on the bus) first. I’m so glad it worked! I also showed him how to get home from his baseball game on the bus on Saturday, since I need to be at the dojo. He’s getting so independent! I’m really proud of him.

The 15yo

I realized last night – when the 15yo mentioned how much I’d been in her room – that I was lonely and lurking because I wanted company. Luckily she likes to hang out with me and didn’t mind. She has found her rhythm at school, can manage the homework better, and is going to swimming twice a week. Do I wish she were going to swim at least three days a week? Sure! But I’m not going to say anything, because it’s her life and she needs to do what feels right for her.

She applied for an internship at the Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito and got an interview on Monday! She was so thrilled to have made it through the first round! I REALLY hope her interview goes well. We’ve talked through the questions and we’re going to do a first practice interview on Zoom tonight. She’ll do at least one more practice interview with her dad via Zoom over the weekend too.

Other Random Updates

I got my Covid and flu shots on Monday. My arm was super sore but I never felt shitty. They finally filled the 15yo’s ADHD prescription earlier this week and I picked it up.

I am had my eye appointment and am trying occupational progressives for the first time, where the majority of your vision is most of your reading prescription, so you can see clearly for like 10 feet but distance is not great. She said if I hate them I can bring them back within three months and get regular progressives. I just know “the boost” at the bottom of glasses just isn’t enough for me anymore. I’m really excited to try something new. My new glasses should be in late next week.

I saw my kids’ dentist for the first time on Wednesday. I have to go back to get three cavities filled or refilled. Such a bummer. I do not have great teeth.

I haven’t made it to the dojo yet this week, but I did do a Sims 60 Bike Boot Camp on Wednesday. I didn’t start u til 8pm, and it was really hard, but I rocked it! I was really proud.

My friend’s memorial was Sunday. I will admit that I had been dreading it. I just knew I was going to cry the whole time.

And I did cry. A lot But I also talked a lot, with people I haven’t seen in many years. It was nice to see them again, even though we all wished it were under different circumstances.

My friend was an amazing person who touched many, many lives. She died suddenly, and relatively young, and we were all there to remember her and to try to make sense of the fact that she’s no longer with us. It was hard.

I was also reminded that I am an important part of the lives of many people, even people I don’t see much anymore. I appreciated being reminded of that.

Monday I had a pretty bad emotional hang over. My eyes were so puffy it looked like I’d been punched. I was mortified walking to the eye doctor’s – I would have cancelled if I weren’t so desperate for a new pair of glasses. My face didn’t look normal until well into the afternoon.

I was really glad it was a three day weekend.

I took the husband to the airport around 1:30pm. He has been very supportive of me this past week; I’ve been kind of a basket case with the memorial service looming. I was sadder to see him go than I expected. It has felt empty and lonely in the house without him.

I appreciated the weather though. We had our first rain storm, and the dark, wet, weather matched my mood. I got my flu and Covid shots at Kaiser on the way home (they STILL couldn’t fill the 15yo’s ADHD prescription) and stopped at Costco to stock up on freezer foods. Once I got home, I put on cozy pj pants and reveled in our first rain storm of the season.

I made a ton of pumpkin pancakes for the 11yo’s lunches. I vacuumed and changed my sheets. I graded two sets of group projects. I finished up the week’s plans in all the classes (which I had started at swim yesterday). I planned all the afternoons this week, so I know what I’m expecting to accomplish each day. I helped the kids make their lunches. I PUT THE CANS OUT.

Now I’m working out, which wasn’t originally on the docket, but I realized during my planning session that going to the dojo tomorrow wasn’t really going to work for me. I’ll take the 11yo for his class, but staying for my class will be too hard, so I’m working out tonight instead. Honestly, I should have known I was going to work out because I can’t sleep in clean sheets without taking a shower. And I don’t take a shower unless I work out…

Yes, I’m a bit of a weirdo.

It’s going to be a long week without the husband. Luckily I thought to get some gum and candy for the 11yo’s party favors while I was at Costco. I can’t believe his party is this coming Sunday, and that I’m throwing it by myself. We usually have his friend party AFTER his actual birthday, not before. It’s really throwing me for a loop.

I have a couple of posts partially done. I hope to get them up later this week. So far I’ve hit my posting every-other-day goal pretty consistently, and we’re almost half way through the month.

Last week was long with parent/teacher conferences every afternoon and the memorial service looming. This week will be short, at least work wise, and I’m leaning hard into that when things feel stressful. I’m also reminding myself that it’s okay if we don’t make it to something. I have my first teeth cleaning with the kids’ dentist on Wednesday, but otherwise everything is “optional.” and that’s okay.

Daria asked what working out looks like for me these days and I started that post, but then realized I want to post pictures of my strength set up, so I’m going to push that post to early next week, and instead put up some pictures of my cats, because they are a huge part of my life, even though I don’t write about them much. I honestly don’t know what we’d do without them, they are the stars of the show each and every day.

Panther likes to climb into my sweatshirt, while Ike wearing it, and then peek her head out the arm or neck hole.

I hope you enjoyed some cat pictures, because there are few things in this world I enjoy more than my cats.

I was going to have this up early Friday but then the kitchen sink wasn’t getting hot water and I had to spend over an hour fixing it. But I did fix it! And it doesn’t leak! So yay for saving $300+!

And then Friday happened and now it’s 8pm. Blerg.

This week was parent conferences at work and I’m SO GLAD it’s over. I hate the 35 minute classes. I don’t love talking to parents and students all afternoon. It’s the longest, most exhausting week and I’m so happy it’s in my rear view.

The 11yo’s final baseball game of the middle school season was Wednesday. I collected money from families for coaches’ gifts. I bought eight pizzas and a flat of Gatorades at Costco. I delivered it all to the game and the kids and families were happy and grateful. When I got home I promptly emptied the baseball backpack and packed his regular backpack and thanked all that is good in the world that I wouldn’t have to pack his cleats and gloves and mitt with his school stuff again this school year.

The husband leaves for Amsterdam on Monday and he found out earlier this week that there was a black tie dinner in the programming. He doesn’t have a tux, and he doesn’t buy things much, so I had to provide a significant amount of support as he decided if he should rent in Amsterdam or buy immediately at home, and then where and what he should but and then how he should return what didn’t fit him great and finally today he has an ensamble he’s happy with and I’m breathing a big sigh of relief.

This Sunday is the memorial service for our good family friend. My mom is speaking. I know I’m going to cry the whole time, for literal hours. I’m kind of worried that it will be an issue when I get my eyes checked on Monday, because crying for 4+ hours does a number on my eyes. I hope I can still figure out my new prescription.

I put up my Day of the Dead decorations, including my ofrenda. A picture of my friend is on it and it’s hard to see her all day every day, but it’s also good to have her close. There are moments sometimes when I think I see her in the world and I have this weird feeling like, “oh I thought I lost that but it’s right there!” and then I realize that a part of my brain thought it was her and another part knew it couldn’t be her and I’m just gutted. Once I even whispered her name I was so sure I had seen her. But of course it wasn’t her.

Sunday is going to be so hard.

Last night I forgot to take the cans out, which is kind of really bad because our trash can barely fits one week’s worth of trash and could never accommodate two week’s worth (it has a false bottom, so it’s only half as deep as it looks), and our recycle bin has been smelling rank all week.

I was so mad at myself when I woke up. I have never forgotten to take the cans out. Never. Why did I forget last night?!

I ended up triple bagging the trash and taking it in my car down to work where I quietly threw it into our dumpster. Definitely not allowed, but I don’t regret it. We’re going to have to deal with the rank smell in the recycle bin for a week longer…

Tonight I spent some time on a Spirit Week flier that I’m really liking. I want our school to have more spirit this year, and I think this will be a decent way to kick start it.

I love October and I know a lot of kids do too. I hope this week is fun, and that yearbook gets lots of pictures! I just put up my Día de los Muertos decorations at school, so I’m feeling ready.

The husband wanted to stop by an event at Pier 39 on Saturday (unofficially, but for work), so we all took BART to the F-line up the Embarcadero and walked around in what is probably the most touristy area of San Francisco. It was a beautiful day and we had a better time than I expected. Here are some photos from our time as tourists.

I ended up sleeping at my parents’ house last night – with my cousin – so I got to sleep in until 8:45am. We went for a 7 mile hike along the coast, then ate fish tacos. We showed up for the 11yo’s baseball game just as they won (their first win all season!), then had another amazing meal in the city. It was a great day, and I’m so happy to took it off.