Not a Wasted Word

… ANNIE! For clarify the insanity that is California rent control and tenant laws while I sat around and clarified nothing! WITH DEEPEST SINCERITY, I THANK YOU, because truly, California’s tenant laws are a cluster f***, and inquiring minds obviously want to know.

I’ve been in the weeds, as usual. And honestly, there are a lot of questions we still don’t have answers to. That is why we are spending the big $$$ to talk to a lawyer next week. (After which I will update you all on the situation).

We are almost positive that we must adhere to San Francisco’s rent control laws. Our building was built before 1979 (so much before – it’s about to turn 100!!) and even though it’s not a registered unit, I’m sure rent control still applies (otherwise, single family home owners would be incentivized to NOT register their units). Basically, in all situations, renters in San Francisco have a ton of rights. Which I think is a great idea. 70% of the housing in SF is on the renters market, and most of that is owned by landlords who are trying to save a buck (or make a lot more bucks) in anyway they can. I think renters deserve protection in those situations, and I LOVED rent control when I was a renter in SF for 10 years.

I do think maybe there should be different rules for single-family home owners who are renting their spaces, but I honestly don’t know what they rules should be. But the city depends heavily on these spaces to provide below-market priced rental units, so they might want to think about protecting those home-owners so they are more inclined to rent those units.

We paid for the initial heat treatment, but thought that maybe we could eventually put the onus on our tenant for getting rid of the bed bugs (if they are found again), since he clearly brought them into the unit. I’ve read that in single-family home situations, where there are no other tenants who might have brought them in, landlords can require tenants to pay for treatments. But SF has a new bed bug law that went into effect in 2017 (because they are evidently a huge problem here), and we may be responsible for paying for treatments no matter what (I can’t find this information anywhere except on tenants’ rights sites paid for by tenants’ rights lawyers so I don’t know if they are choosing deliberately vague wording to make it sound like landlords ALWAYS have to pay to attract more customers).

We might still be able to push the responsibility on to him if we believe he is not taking the proper steps to ensure the issues won’t happen again. This is doubtful (him taking the proper steps) since he is still claiming that he didn’t bring them in, but that he got them from “rodents in the walls” or “feral cats in the backyard” (even though there is no evidence that bed bugs move with rodents or cats (they can feed on them, but they haven’t been shown to travel with them).

The probable issue will be that we’ll do this second heat treatment (only to his unit because he believes the first wasn’t done properly), and he will still think he has bed bugs, and the pest control won’t re-do the treatment without seeing further evidence of bed bugs (they are only doing a second treatment this time because they didn’t heat the bathroom last time – because our tenant said that was okay! And then decided it wasn’t okay!), and we will refuse to pursue another company or treatment option and he will flip out when we tell him he has to pay for it himself if he wants to do it. At this point, we may offer him some money (not $10K required for an owner move in but a portion of it) to leave of his own accord.

The messiest issue will be if he finds evidence of bed bugs AFTER the three month warranty on the treatment is up. At this point we are probably required to do another treatment, which feels unfair because clearly in this situation he would not be doing what he needs to do to ensure bed bugs are not reintroduced to the unit, or are being properly eradicated in the first place (we believe there is still far too much clutter in his unit to ensure complete eradication – yes we’ve been taking pictures). At this point, a lengthy legal battle might ensue.

We realized, after some particularly unhinged emails, that our tenant is now sleeping every night in the unit, even though he believes there are still bed bugs and he’s still getting bit. This is clearly making him miserable, which means he must have no where else to go. He told us previously that he hasn’t slept in our unit for 16 months, and instead was sleeping at his girl friend’s apartment. We believe that option is no longer available to him for whatever reason, or he would be taking it. The fact that he no longer has an easy option for where to go complicates matters

So that is where we are now. We have a consultation with a landlord lawyer on Wednesday morning. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Well, April 2019 thoroughly kicked me in the teeth. And it’s not over yet. By May 4th, things should be better, or at least less hectic.

It’s felt like a full time job keeping my thoughts from spiraling into the abyss. Knowing a bed bug infestation is right under our feet is incredibly stressful. Not feeling like we have any control over how it is managed is even more stressful.

We did heat treat our house. Five days later our tenant finally slept in the unit and immediately informed us he was still getting bit. We’re meeting with the pest control company again on Tuesday.

We have a consultation with a law firm that works with landlords next Wednesday.*

My guess is, we’ll have do an “owner move in,” eviction which requires we pay our tenant $10,000 to move out, after which we would not be able to rent our unit again (because we asked him to move out so that we could move in).

Of course our unit is not registered with the city. I don’t know if we really would never be able to rent it again. My husband works for the city and VERY MUCH wants to avoid bad optics, so he just might not feel comfortable renting it again. And of course, we’d need to deal with the bed bug issue, feel certain it had been eradicated (clearly just not living there for a year isn’t enough), and disclose that information to whoever else we found to rent it. We would probably only rent it to a good friend, which would bring its own issues. Ugh.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we ended up in this situation. About how the housing market is so crazy in San Francisco, that the only way we could afford a mortgage was to rent a unit (and to that point, the only reason we weren’t priced out of buying our house by higher bids was because it originally was put on the market with tenants living in the unit, which made it less attractive), and about how that put us in a risky position, which now is causing us financial distress. The whole system is so broken, two people with post-graduate degrees should be able to buy a house without renting out a part of it, but not in San Francisco, and increasingly not in other parts of the country either.

If we do have to pay our tenant $10,000 to leave, and then can’t rent the unit again, it will really change our financial situation. We were looking forward to a few years of having a little bit more money in our bank accounts (the post-childcare and car payment years), but it seems like those years are never going to come, and we’re going to have to carefully identify and prioritize our spending because we will never be able to pursue multiple goals at the same time. Some of our dreams will definitely have to be set aside, maybe only temporarily, but possibly forever.

It’s also spring, the time of year in teaching when you learn your colleagues (and friends) are leaving for better opportunities. My best work friend got a job at a high school, and I am especially aware of how I will never feel financially secure enough to leave my job, and that is a suffocating feeling. I guess I just have to find ways to make it as fulfilling as it can be.

I understand it could be much, much worse. One of us could be sick or injured and on disability. One of us could have lost our jobs. This financial set back is not the worst one in the world, but it’s significant for us. I just wish we weren’t in this situation. I have never loved our house, or living in San Francisco, and this just makes me resent the whole situation even more.

*{It was surreal to try to find a lawyer that works with landlords in this city – there are tons of tenants’ rights lawyers but fewer who are representing the bad guys. It is also surreal to be the bad guy. Blerg. We tried so hard to be decent land lords – we haven’t raised the rent on our unit once in seven years. We were just trying to offer a modest space at a decent price, just enough so we could afford our mortgage. And everywhere I look we are portrayed as the big bad Darth Vaders of the rental world. It sucks.}

The carnival was last Saturday. We got beautiful weather. People came and had fun and we made money.

It was also super stressful and there were some considerable set backs and we decided we’re definitely not doing it again.

So… kind of a success? I guess? Hard to say. I’m just relieved it’s over.

This past week was consumed by the heat treatment. I took off Monday to build a shed we needed to store our stuff, and I took off Tuesday to pack things up.

My husband took off Wednesday to continue packing and prepping and Thursday to be available during the heat treatment (he stayed at his parents’ house with our cat).

And just when the heat treatment was over, and I was looking forward to 48-hours or down time before the book fair next week, the school nurse found lice on my daughter.

So… yeah. Kinda feels like I can’t catch a break. I just need it to be May already.

I dislike when people are like, shit-hit-the-fan-but-I-can’t-talk-about-it-so-instead-I’ll-disappear-for-hella-days and I TOTALLY did that, so I’m poking my head in to just put an end to the vague blogging and assure you I’m fine (well, pretty much).

The short version of the shitty news from a couple weeks ago is that our tenant has bed bugs. The whole story is so much more complicated and frustrating than that, and I haven’t written about it yet because the mere thought of communicating an accurate representation of the situation is totally overwhelming. So here is the good news and the bad news (at least the portions I have the bandwidth to share):

THE GOOD NEWS

• As far as we (and a trained professional) can tell, they are isolated to his unit. None of us have been bitten (that we know of) and there are no signs of bed bugs in our beds or elsewhere in our unit.
• The fact that we don’t currently have any bed bug “activity” in our unit means we don’t have to do as much to manage our shit before treatment.
• We did get a refund on our taxes, which will help us pay for the treatment.

THE BAD NEWS

• Did I mention our tenant has bed bugs? Seriosuly. FFFUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!
• We will spending at least $2000 to treat our house (the first time, there may be more).
• We do not trust our tenant to properly manage his belongings to better ensure there is not a recurrence.
• Even if he were to take all the necessary precautions, there is still a good chance they will come back (bed bugs are are HARD to eradicate. REALLY. REALLY. HARD.)
• Upon entering his unit to be present at the inspection we were made aware that he has not actually been staying in the unit (FOR OVER A YEAR), and it is filthy and rodent infested.
• We are in a precarious positions as landlords because (a) we did not register our unit (long story I don’t currently want to get into) which complicates our rights as landlords and (b) tenants have a SHIT TON of rights in San Francisco and our options for getting rid of our tenant if he does not manage the unit to our satisfaction in the future are VERY EXPENSIVE AND VERY LIMITED (especially if we want another tenant in the unit after he leaves). Also (c) my husband works for the city so the optics of the situation, if it were to get messy, are important.
• We are opting to heat treat the entire house because (a) treating the entire house was not much more than only treating his unit, (b) the heat treatment it is cheaper and has a longer warranty than the chemical treatment, and (c) the heat treatment avoids introducing chemicals into either unit.
• The heat treatment is better in a lot of ways, but it is a massive pain in the butt because it requires we remove some pieces of furniture and other belongings that will be damaged by the high temperatures. These items need to be out of the house entirely (they cannot be stored in the garage) for at least 8 hours that day. Oh, and also our cat.
• We will probably have to pay to clean our tenant’s unit, or clean it ourselves, before the treatment.
• That big carnival our PTA puts on is this coming Saturday so I’m already REALLY FUCKING STRESSED OUT AND BUSY.

This past week was my spring break, but I’m going back to work tomorrow as stressed out and exhausted, if not more so, than I was going into it. That is not a good feeling, but I keep reminding myself that in a couple of weeks the carnival will be over, and the treatment will also probably be over, and things will be better.

The other good news is that there is no rain being forecast in the next week, which is SUCH A RELIEF. Last year rain was projected on the day of our carnival and I spent the whole week before obsessively checking my weather app. In the end it rained early that morning but was dry enough on the day of the carnival. This winter has been so wet; it has rained the majority of days since the new year. I was beginning to accept that the sheer mathematical probability of rain was high. We have a contingency plan for rain, but I’m very thankful that we probably won’t need to use it. I will definitely be checking my weather app every day, but hopefully only once or twice.

So that is where I am at, super stressed and overwhelmed and counting the days until these two big events are behind me.

Reasons I’m bummed out right now:

• This is almost assuredly the biggest factor (well besides the last bullet point): I’m on the first day of my period, and I think I have PMDD because wowzers do my period do a number on me, mentally and emotionally.
• My only good friend at work is leaving to teach at a high school next year, right when I would have actually been able to have lunch with her again (it looks like I won’t be traveling between campuses anymore – crossing my fingers).
• (I will also admit to having thoughts along the line of, “She applied for one high school job and got it. I applied for four and didn’t get any of them. I really must suck.”)
• The shitty thing that I mentioned before that is causing so much stress (and I still don’t have the energy to write about – don’t worry, no one is sick or injured).
• My daughter’s school (soon to be my son’s school) is still the hot mess it was when we first started there (and they promised to make ALL THE CHANGES!). It makes me feel sad and hopeless seeing how broken the public school system is and how poorly it serves the students who need it most.
• It’s my kids’ spring break, but not mine. Most of their friends are off traveling (New York! Tahoe! Mexico! Southern California!) but we’re not (logistically difficult when we’re off on different weeks) and I’m having a bit of a pity party about it.
• Related to the above: I’m in the midst of accepting that we won’t be traveling internationally this summer, no matter what our tax return situation may be, and I’m bummed out about it.
• If we want to make those international trips a reality we will have to drastically change our priorities and I don’t see us actually doing that, especially when they are really only important to me.
• If we can’t even make those trips a priority, I highly doubt we’ll make living abroad a priority. It’s hard when you have vastly different goals than your spouse (and those goals are logistically complicated, financially challenging, and totally upend your life for a period of time).
• And this is a really big one: I read an article in Politico that Trump is almost sure to win in 2020 barring some drastic economic downturn or devastating scandal. This isn’t opinion, it’s prediction based on economic and historic trends. I doubt the economy will tank enough to ensure he isn’t re-elected, and it seems like there is no scandal big enough to take him down (I doubted the Mueller report was going to provide that scandal, but it’s disappointing to learn that it definitely will not). The thought of this political climate remaining a reality until 2024 sends me into a spiral of panic and depression.

So yeah. My emotional well being is the gutter right now, and it’s hard to keep my chin up.

What are you doing to stay positive these days?

I got some upsetting and stressful news today (will share later, just don’t have the time and emotional bandwidth to write it down now), right at the end of 1st period.

I was VERY distracted, after the fact. I struggled mightily to reorient myself in my regular day. I actually had my 2nd period watch a movie, because I just didn’t think I could manage teaching an entire class. I also needed to get my grading done once and for all (grades are due tomorrow), and I needed to show the movie at some point anyway, so it was easy to tell myself I had good reasons for throwing my lesson plan out the window and turning on the TV. But really I just couldn’t pull my shit together and teach.

I did manage to get my act together by 3rd period though. I toyed briefly with the idea of having that class watch a movie too, but I knew it didn’t make as much sense for them, so I stuck with what I had planned. And I pulled it together, and switched gears, and re-entered my regular life.

And then I got some great news at the end of 4th period (more on that later as well), and I was super stoked, and I didn’t let the other shitty news taint my elation.

I’m still handling the upsetting and stressful news well too. When I tell myself that there is nothing I can do about right in this moment, so there is no use in running through a litany of what-ifs when all it does is make me miserable, it actually helps me to put the worry down and walk away. I think I’m finally learning how to let the voice of reason prevail. Or maybe it’s just my anxiety is not as intense for some other, totally unrelated reason, and that is allowing me to break out of harmful cycles of unproductive worry. Either way, I SO APPRECIATE being able to manage this is a way that feels appropriate and comfortable (I mean, yes, I’d much rather NOT be dealing

I always assumed I’d be a much happier adult than teenager or twenty-something (those years were ROUGH for me), but I never considered that I would just keep feeling better, more comfortable in my skin, more able to manage difficult situations. I am actually learning from my experiences, and changing in positive ways as I gain perspective. I think my 40s are actually going to be pretty great.

Quick thoughts on a Sunday / almost technically Monday.

My daughter got into the drama camp, but not the tech camp she really wanted. She was super bummed. I looked into tech camps afterward and they start at $1200 for the week! Um, I’m sorry but I can’t afford that (oops, sorry, I don’t prioritize that). I guess she’ll just have to keep dreaming about her first encounter with a 3-D printer.

It’s expensive to buy summer camps for two kids ($2K for only three weeks total for each of them), but not as expensive as having to pay for full-time childcare i didn’t need to save my son’s spot between school years.

I ended up finding decent flights to St. Louis after worrying I’d have to pay significantly more than last year. They are not great times (super early) but are non-stops and it’s Southwest so I won’t get screwed by checking bags. I’m pleased to get that out of way.

I really want to know what our tax situation is. Badly.

I saw Captain Marvel tonight and it was awesome. So exciting to see another kick-ass woman super hero story. I doubt it will happen but I’d love to see Black Widow star in her own stand alone.

I took the kids to Adventure Playground again and the weather was so beautiful. It was a really great day, and I was reminded yet again what a difference some sunshine can make. Honestly, I was miserable before and I didn’t realize the extent of how bad I felt until the rain stopped and the weather got warm. My mood has improved drastically.

We hit stand-still traffic on the bridge coming home but these pictures almost made it worth it.

Not a bad looking city if I do say so myself.

{Also, this new phone takes damn good photos.}

This morning, at 10am, I will be playing the Rec and Park summer camp lottery, hoping to get my kids into a few camps they want (or for my son, the only ones available for five year olds). In the past I spent weeks combing over the catalogue, attempting different configurations that fit into our summer schedule.

It can feel a little complicated because my kids are out of school almost two weeks before me, and our St. Louis dates are largely out of our control because the “farm” weekend is planned many months in advance. And since many of the camps are impacted, I always need to have a plan B or C in case we don’t get into our first choice. So yeah, it takes a lot of time and requires a lot of foresight.

This year though, I just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to start looking. I finally opened the catalogue earlier this week, found a few camps I hope we get into, and put them on my wishlist. The only two my daughter wants are hugely popular and I don’t even have a Plan B for the two-week arts camp that happens when I actually need coverage. I guess if we don’t get in there I’ll have to find an option outside of Rec and Park.

Getting ready for the summer camp registration forced me to think about a trip abroad with the kids. I haven’t really broached the subject with myself because I’m so terrified of our possible tax situation that I haven’t let myself even consider it an option. Also, our St. Louis flights will be much more expensive than last year, so I don’t know if it’s really worth it.

I also had to calculate how much we made with AirBnB, and then how much we spent on cleaning services (for our taxes) and honestly I don’t know if it’s actually worth it for us to do it again. After subtracting the small business and short-term rental licensing fees the city requires, plus all the cleaning services, we barely made enough to cover one set of flights last summer. I mean, it’s not nothing, but it’s also a crazy amount of work and I don’t know if (here in San Francisco) it’s actually worth it. Especially when my husband and cat have to be displaced, and neither one enjoys that.

{Really, what it will come down to, is if the possible money we could make would be enough to make a trip possible, and my guess is no, it won’t provide enough to fund an international trip. Since we’ll definitely be out of town for St. Louis I’ll have to decide if we want to rent out our space then.}

So I guess I’m feeling pretty blah about my summer. I keep reminding myself that it’s all about priorities. We bought a great car (earlier than we anticipating needing to) and that has stretched us thin on the financial front, and there are consequences for making that choice. Who knows, maybe our tax situation won’t be as dire as I’m fearing and we can still make something work. And if not, it’s okay. A low key summer at home could be really nice.

Wish me luck with summer camp registration! Only 10 minutes until it opens!

What do you have planned for this summer?

As I explore my values, I recognize more and more how important service is for me. I am a very privileged person who has so much more than so many people. Being of service to others is important to me. And I do this not for external recognition, but for my own internal reasons. Recognizing this has helped me manage my expectations on the PTA front, and I feel a lot better about the time and energy I put into those projects. This is a good thing, because the spring carnival is in one month which means we’re officially in crunch time. I’m going to be spending a lot of time on it, but that’s okay because being of service is important to me.

It doesn’t hurt that a few staff from my daughter’s school have reached out to tell us how thankful they are to have a PTA that puts on events and supports their school. It really can be challenging to teach at a school with very little parent involvement and so many socio-economically disadvantaged students. These teachers are fighting against a system that has set them, and their students, up to fail. Many schools like my daughter’s have no PTA and no school-wide events. We provide something that teaches can feel good about at their school, and the ones who recognize that and communicate their appreciation definitely help remind me that the service I am providing is actually worth while. As long as I am confident my efforts are making a difference, I am okay with the doing the work.

It’s funny how a change in perspective about something can totally transform the experience.

It has rained A LOT in Northern California this winter. A lot a lot. Like almost every day for months a lot. I know we need it, and ultimately it’s a good thing, but man it was starting to wear.

This week the sun is finally shining and the temps are inching into the low 60s. It feels so good to be outside.

The sun and blue skies almost make up for sprinting forward on Sunday.

Almost.