My thoughts are a jumble lately. Welcome to hard-to-follow train of thought…
My crappy mood continues. I’ve even had some tearful outbursts! Those led me to believe it’s probably hormone related. Once you’re in perimenopause it’s so much harder to identify when hormones are messing with you.
I felt briefly like maybe I was a little caught up at work? And then I started working on known tasks and very quickly more tasks made themselves known and by the end of the school day I felt very much underwater again.
The weather has been beautiful lately. I miss running outside so much. Between the fractured tibia and partially torn ACL I think it’s going to be a loooong time before I’m cleared to run again. It makes me really sad. I can’t actually articulate how sad it makes me.
I had my first PT appointment today. We talked more than did actual physical therapy. He was very impressed with my muscle tone and function. He told me to continue what I’m already doing and added a couple more exercises. He showed me a model of a knee and pointed out each ligament that I injured. It helped me understand what I’m dealing with, which I appreciated. He also said a few things that reminded me what a long road I have ahead of me. My injuries could be a lot worse, and the fact that I’m not feeling any pain is so helpful, but I have a long way to go before I’m healed. It was sobering.
I’m struggling to keep the house tidy. It started to fraying at the edges the week I hurt my knee and then we all got norovirus. The week my husband was away it really started to unravel. At this point I’m using the time at night I used to spend tidying up doing my rehab exercises. It’s hard to make time for both. It really bums me out watching the clutter slowly accumulate all over the house again.
I’m getting a little teary eyed just writing that. I’ll be so devastated if the house goes back to the way it was.
This weekend my daughter has a swim meet so I’ll be getting up at 6am both days. On the one hand maybe not sleeping in will help me shake this DST sleep stupor. On the other hand I could really use the extra sleep. I’m just trying to accept it without judgement, but I’m also not looking toward the weekend as a respite.
It’s 11pm and I’m tired so I’m going to try to go to sleep. I really hope I can fall asleep easily tonight. I’m so tired, both emotionally and physically.
Ugh. I hear you! I really do. Being injured just sucks so bad. In addition to limping around and not being able to do the things you love, everything- like housework- seems like it takes so much extra effort. Or, life in general takes extra effort. I read your last post as well, and not getting enough sleep will definitely mess up your mood. It’s a tough situation, because on the one hand you know it won’t be like this forever. But you also don’t want to have the attitude of “this day is going to suck so just get to the end of it.” I really struggled with that with my ankle injury- still trying to appreciate the day in spite of it not being… ideal.
Congrats to your daughter- that’s definitely a bright spot. Hang in there!
I’m so sorry about the injury. It would (and it did) have me very very down, too. But it WILL pass eventually. Did you find out if you can bike safely? If you can would be such a good outlet for you!
Schedule household cleaning help! With injury you REALLY NEED that help and so does your husband! You either both go down the drain pipe and the house is a mess or you hire needed help AND SPEND SOME TIME OUTSIDE AT A PARK OR ACTIVITY THAT YOU ENJOY. MENTAL HEALTH PRECAUTION AND IMPORTANT. Please take care of you and give yourself help. Medical need!!!!