Professional Mindf*ck

It feels already as though I have too many balls in the air. I read recently of thinking about these balls as glass balls and bouncy balls – knowing which ones will bounce and which will shatter. I’m trying to make those determinations as I move forward, not just for my own sanity, but because I simply can’t make the time for everything (maybe somebody could, but I don’t seem capable of it at this juncture).

Obviously this blog is a bouncy ball. The stakes are low and its easy to let it bounce. Sometimes it bounces right under a piece of furniture and I forget about it until I’m looking for something else and I find it instead.

I’m dealing with a really shitty situation at work, one I didn’t intend to write about but that I can’t avoid because it’s all my mind can focus on. A past student is failing Spanish 2 this year as a freshman and his parents have decided that is because my Spanish program doesn’t prepare students to skip Spanish 1 and go directly to Spanish 2. Instead of voicing their concerns to me, they have written a letter to our Board of Education and Superintendent detailing the failings of my program. The only reason I know about the letter is because my principal (who is supportive but also new this year so not very effective in her support) told me about it. The best part is I have their younger student in my class right now.

This situation brings up a lot of feelings for me. I am realizing how vulnerable it feels for my program to be attacked, because essentially I am my program. The thing I most love about my job is that I have what amounts to total freedom of choice when it comes to how, and even what, I teach. I have always been so confident in my choices that I never stopped to consider the fact that if my program were attacked, it would essentially be me that was attacked. In other content area the standards are implemented by the state and the curriculum is purchased by the district. Teachers can fall back on those constraints when a parent determines a program is failing their kid. I do not have that luxury, and now I am realizing I need to build a robust defense of myself and the way I choose to teach. It’s frustrating. And terrifying.

The worst part is the feeling of disrespect – that these parents could not come to me and voice their concerns, but instead chose to drag my name and my program through the mud to my superiors.

I guess the good news is I am not doubting myself or my teaching methods. Not all students who take Spanish with me for two years will be ready to skip Spanish 1 and take Spanish 2 as freshman. It’s a rigorous course with Sophomore-level amounts of homework. Our district has moved away from homework and I, as an elective teacher, am basically not allowed to give it anymore (this is one area in which I can point to someone else for a perceived failing). While I agree with this policy because I don’t think middle school students should be inundated with homework, I also recognize its shortcomings as I’ve had a lot of past students come to me lamenting the fact they they did not feel prepared for the amount of homework they have in high school, especially in Spanish 2.

The silver lining in all of this is that I was alerted to the very real necessity of a new and robust system for communicating with parents about the realities of Spanish 2 and which students I believe are prepared to succeed in the class. The high schools used to require I sign off on students enrolling in the class, and then they stopped that practice when they adopted an entrance test that all students, even their own rising Sophmores had to pass to be enrolled in Spanish 2. At some point they stopped administering that test, but never went back to the teacher-signatures. This left it essentially up to students (and their parents) to decide. Of course I talk about the challenges of the class – I believe I give students a realistic understanding of what to expect – and many speak with me personally and ask for my advice. What I didn’t recognize might happen was for a student to lie to their parents about speaking to me and my recommendation and then blaming their inability to keep up with the work (because they struggled to keep up with the work in my class and I would NOT have recommended they take Spanish 2 knowing they would fall behind quickly and fatally) on me and my program.

I already have sketched the outlines for a formal recommendation policy that will take effect this year. I will also be providing extra work for students to complete outside of class and their motivation to complete that work (which won’t effect their grade in anyway, but will show me if they can manage the work load of a higher class) will be one part of what I look at to make that recommendation. Every 8th grade student will be given a form with my formal recommendation, and explanation of that recommendation, which will need to be signed and returned. I will also be sending lists of students I recommend, and do not recommend, for Spanish 2 to our feeder high schools. They can do with that information what they will. Hopefully all of this will help me, and my students, avoid a situation like this in the future.

I started implementing a new teaching method this year, and I have really been enjoying it. The kids are authentically engaged in what we are doing, and while it’s exhausting for me as a teacher, I recognize how effective it has been. I hope my focus does not shift away from this incredible way of teaching and toward preparing students for a high school class not all of them even want to take. I hope I can maintain my personal and professional integrity as I navigate the reverberations of this situation.

(And yes, I’ve contacted my union rep and determined what specific steps I need to take to protect job.)