Roller coaster

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster. So many ups and downs, and while it felt interminable while it was happening, now that it’s over it felt like it flew by.

The last time I wrote here was during the apocalyptic orange sky day. That day was a serious mind fuck, and the five days of red and purple air quality that followed were hard to get through. We couldn’t even open our windows, let alone go outside for five full days. It was horrible.

Then, finally, the bad air quality lifted and we could go outside again. The end of last week felt amazing.

Friday was a good day. My daughter and I went shoe shopping because my daughter is participating in Girls on the Run and she needed a proper pair of sneakers. Stores like Foot Locker recently reopened in San Francisco so we were able to go in and actually try on a pair, which were $120 marked down to $30 because they were the very last pair, and exactly her size. We also stopped into a book store to get the newest Dog Man. It felt awesome to be walking around, casually visiting stores again. It’s been months since I did that.

Of course later that day we heard the horrible news. I cried a lot Friday night. I realized for the first time in my life that I don’t love my country. I actually hate it. I absolutely wish I didn’t live here anymore, and I don’t want the future here I see forming for my children. I’m not quite sure what any of that means yet. I’m still processing it. And I’m definitely taking a break from the news cycle for a while. I absolutely cannot stand the hypocrisy right now.

The weekend was better, but the cloud of reality hung over everything. Saturday was super packed – I took the kids bike riding in Golden Gate Park and then had my daughter’s friends over for a book club in the backyard (we discussed El Deafo and made warm fuzzies like in the book). Sunday my daughter had sailing (she’s going for three Sundays in September) and I went over early to run on Treasure Island before picking them up. I don’t think there is a more beautiful view of the city than from Treasure Island.

At home I finished picking up my house so I could – finally! – clean all the floors on the upstairs level. They needed it so bad, and it took hours of picking up shit, sweeping and vacuuming to get to a place where I could actually do it. But it did get done and my house looks clean for the first time in months. I’m reveling in it.

Of course I aggravated an elbow injury doing all that sweeping, vacuuming and steam cleaning and today it hurts worse than it ever has. Sigh. I’m resigning myself to the fact that I have an overuse injury and I’m going to need to take definitive steps to making it better. The problem is I have no idea what those steps might be. Blerg.

It’s weird that my kids have actual activities again – my son has karate camp three afternoons a week and my daughter has running twice a week – which add a structure to the weeks that we had been missing. Distance learning still isn’t great for us, but I’m so thankful that the have structured activities that give them regular social interaction and exercise.

I’m still working pretty much every waking moment during the week, but I’m getting better and taking breaks during the weekends. At least on Saturdays.

And I guess that is where I’m at. I hope you’re all doing well.