Seven on Sunday

I have to admit, I’ve struggled to show up here. As I’ve struggled to show in pretty much all areas of my life. I just don’t want to do anything these days. Which makes doing everything feel really hard. And getting thoughts on a page is hard! I lot harder than folding laundry…

I started writing a response to Jenny’s Best Years Ahead? post but it got dark fast. So I’m going to table it for now and revisit it when I’m feeling a little better. (Also I started this post on Saturday afternoon! But only just finished it now, late on Sunday night.)

For right now, some shards of light pushing through the grey of my mood lately.

The 11yo tested for his teen red belt yesterday. He wasn’t planning on testing but when we got there (I was assisting) he found out everyone at his level was testing so he asked if he could and was given the okay. On the one hand I’m so glad he didn’t get left behind. On the other hand it’s a big deal and I wish we’d had some of the lead up to it. Of course, the lead up can be stressful, so it’s probably for the best. I’m proud of him and I hope he keeps feeling positive and proud about what he can do at the dojo.

The 14yo changed ADHD medications from Ritalin to Concerta and is really noticing the difference. She didn’t have homework two nights this week because she actually got her work done in class! I’m so glad she’s responding well to the new medication, and trying to push down the guilt about waiting so long to try a new medication.

I have been thinking about trying a new medication and now I am 100% ready to make the change. I’m excited to try something new because I don’t feel like my medicine has been as effective lately (and when I say lately, I mean this school year). It feels good to committed to this after waffling about it for so long.

I took the weighted blanket off our king bed and I think it has helped my back pain and my allergies. I wondered for a long time if I should take it off, but couldn’t commit. Now I finally decided to just give it a try already. It’s definitely weird to not have that feeling of closeness that I really enjoyed, but I haven’t been tossing and turning as much at 3:30-am this week. We’ll see if it seems to help next week (when the placebo affect will have worn off, if that is really what was helping.)

My rosacea is a lot better right now, in fact it’s almost completely gone?! I forgot how nice my skin is when it’s not covered in pustules. I have no idea why it’s better right now; the only change is that my mom got me a Blissful pillowcase for Christmas, because she heard it could help with skin problems. Maybe it has helped? It’s literally the only thing (that I know of) that has changed.

My friend came over last night and we watched a movie and talked and it was so nice to connect with her. She is a really good friend, and I feel like I haven’t seen enough of her lately. I’m so glad it worked out for her to come over while my husband was hanging out with his friend, the 11yo was at his friends’ house and the 14yo had two friends sleeping over. We all got friend time!

I recently listened to The History of Sound and absolutely loved it. It’s a series of short stories that are interconnected in sometimes small, sometimes significant ways. Ed Helm, Jenny Slate, Nick Offerman and Chris Cooper are among the narrators. I don’t usually like short stories, but I was transfixed by this book. I highly recommend the audio book version of it. Also I’m doing the slow read of War and Peace (via Footnotes and Tangents) that Lori recommended at the beginning of the year. I got my mom a subscription (and a three volume copy of the book) for her birthday too, so we’re reading the book, and discussion posts, together. I have to admit, I’m already liking it! When I think that I will still be reading it this spring, and summer and this Christmas, it’s a real head trip. I’ve never read a book over a whole year before, and I welcome the new experience.