Last night I finished packing and when I texted my friends to tell them, they asked me what I was most looking forward to on my trip. And honestly, the only thing I could think was that I was looking forward to not having to do anything for five days, to just leave all my to-do lists behind. Of course, lately my to-do lists have been overflowing, as they would before any trip, but especially this one – the first one we’ve taken without our kids and the first where grandparents have had to stay them in our house (because the kids are in school). And of course, the state of our house required laundry lists of to-do lists over the past two months.
Keeping all that in mind, I am recognizing that lately my life feels like a series of to-do lists. And of course, to-do lists help me organize and prioritize my time and are important for me to keep from forgetting things. But if I’m not careful, I can lose myself in these lists. I can lose my life in these lists.
I remember during one break from school last year, I divided my goals into four areas (Home, Work, Self, Connection and seeing how short my lists were in “Self” and “Connection” helped me to prioritize self-care and time with friends and family. I believe I got a massage that week, and scheduled lunch with my husband and drinks with a friend so I could just write a couple things in those sections. Seeing how many tasks I had written in Home and Work and how few I had written in Self and Connection was a visual confirmation of how I was not prioritizing myself and my needs.
Coming out of these past two months of intensive work on the house, I think I need to go back to that four-pronged goal framework. I think doing it at a monthly level to start makes sense, and then eventually working toward weekly goals in each of the four areas. I have become very task oriented, and I have systems for writing those tasks for home and school that are working for me. I’m a kind of loathe to shake things up too much when I’ve found some executive functioning systems that make life manageable. But I also want to ensure I’m prioritizing my emotional and physical health and connections with others, the things that make life feel worth living.
So I think, starting in March, I’m going to write monthly goals in those four categories, and then I’ll try to also write them as weekly goals. If I can add one “self-care” and one “connections” task to my to-do list every week, that would be a big improvement. And then maybe, I can start adding more. I honestly think just articulating that I’m doing certain things for my emotional and physical well-being in this way will make them more meaningful to me.
In the meantime, I have five full days (plus two travel days) of self care and connection coming up, which I’ve paid for over the past two months with so much work at home and at school. I’m really looking forward to feeling a little more balanced after next week.
Sounds like a great plan and builds on something you have done before and something you have been doing which augurs well for success. Smart thinking.
I once tried to do a time tracking exercise in which I tracked how I spent my time to see if how I was spending my time aligned with my priorities. I quite after three-quarters of a day because it was just so clear that while I want to spend time working out, meditating, and hanging out with friends, instead I mostly cook and clean and do my paid work. So, yeah. I get how you’re feeling! I hope you’re able to prioritize things for you!
“I’m kind of loathe to shake things up too much when I’ve found some executive functioning systems that make life manageable.”
This is so me. Once I have a system, don’t touch it! Don’t help me, don’t shift things, I’m on a trolley track that goes one way and leave me alone or else I’ll have to put my brain back together again.
Have a wonderful trip! I hope it’s everything good you hoped for and more.