I’m not in a great headspace. I’m not really sure why. I mean I can point to external factors being sucky but it doesn’t feel like any of them should be affecting me as much as they are.
But maybe I need to abandon my ideas of should and just accept that they are affecting me, a lot, so I need to take appropriate action.
Except I’m not sure what that appropriate action might be.
It’s a long weekend and long weekends are good weekends for my parents to take the kids. In fact, my parents were going to take the kids this weekend because we were going to SketchFest shows. But the whole festival was cancelled (sorry, postponed), and I honestly forgot that I’d already asked my parents to take the kids on Saturday night.
I reached out to them about still taking the kids, and they said sure. But when I broached the subject with my husband he got visibly tense and asked what my parents were up to these days. He was assessing the possible risk to our kids. Still. Despite their vaccination status. And after a short exchange he muttered, Well we just feel think differently about these things, like it was a judgement neutral declaration and not a admonishment of my lackadaisical willingness to put our children in harm’s way.
I had actually been more concerned about our kids exposing my parents. It’s my mother’s 70th birthday on Sunday. Shouldn’t that be the concern, especially now that our kids are vaccinated?
But evidently, in the eyes of my husband, it is not.
I went into the bathroom and cried, but only for a few minutes. Then I got angry. I am SO, SO TIRED of having this conversation. I am so, so tired of determining our own personal guidelines, in the complete absence of advice from comprehensible guidelines from actual health professionals.
I give the fuck up. I just can’t give a shit anymore.
I don’t know if we’re sending our kids to my parents’ house this weekend. I don’t know if we’re letting them see friends inside, with our without masks. I don’t fucking know! And right now I can’t care about that because I have to teach in 30 minutes.
Happy Friday.
My in laws were back eating inside restaurants the day it opened back up, so I’ve had many conversations with my husband about what his parents are doing before doing anything with them and never once was I trying to admonish him, we just do think differently. So that may be a bit of a leap.
For me, and we’re all vaccinated and eligible parents and child boosted (and we’ve been doing regular life in Ohio for a long time now), but I’m a little more cautious lately because getting COVID is still really inconvenient. I don’t think it is possible that we’ll avoid it with the crazy level of spread and kids in school/sports, but I am trying to delay it, because the quarantine protocols are annoying. So I get where your husband is and think it’s not so much directed at you as it is hard to adjust out of the way we’ve been for two years.
In case it helps . . . I would be mad, too.
And I do think your kids are likely a greater danger to your parents than the other way around.
<<>> I am tired too.
P.S. I’m a mom in Wisconsin, and I love reading your blog. I started following in the early days of COVID because I sit on our local public school board, and I enjoyed reading your teacher perspective.
I have so much trouble deciding for myself what to do or not do, and I am deciding by myself, the idea of having to reach an agreement with any second person ……. Stress and chaos. Of course you were upset and he was too.
Doing RAT testing should help but people clearly can be infected and infectious anyway. I expect you and your husband need some child free time to be alone and to be alone together.
All of you are taking risks and trying to both live and stay healthy. Everyone is at risk. There is no absolute safety. There is no perfect solution.
None of us have the bandwidth for mumbling disagreements/commentary/opinions. Good luck. Breath in and out. Hope the three days help everyone calm and refresh.
PRAISE for you re the time tracking. Your days are so obviously ferociously pressed and frantic.
I’m sorry. It’s really hard not to be on the same page about this. And I know you aren’t so dissimilar but we are at the point where these little differences in opinion can start to feel significant! I get the sense your husband doesn’t need as much connection and social contact as you do so he doesn’t think anything is worse the risk. I have friends like that. I can’t believe how walled off they’ve been the past 22 months. Maybe they like spending time with their spouses and kids more than I do? The only people we are seeing indoors without masks these days is my MIL. We aren’t seeing my parents. Not because of their behavior (they are actually more cloistered than my MIL) but they are older than my MIL and my mom is in very poor health and I don’t know if she would survive COVID (even boostered). So I agree with you. You are more of a threat to your parents than the reverse. And it must be so exasperating when he implies that you aren’t careful when you have been so much more careful than the vast majority of Americans! I wish I had advice! This is just a difference you need to ride out.
I’m so sorry. I keep feeling like we can’t go on like this but somehow we do. I have a similar dynamic with my husband and it’s really taking a toll. My kids mental health is not good and I feel helpless. I am praying this peaks and we can reach something sustainable again.
It’s ok to upset and tired and over everything. Honestly it seems like a very appropriate reaction a lot of the time!