The Rhythm of our weekends

Last weekend we spent a day in Alameda and about half way through I realized what a lovely time I was having. It occurred to me then that my husband could have planned the day we were enjoying as a date for just the two of us, but instead we were all able to enjoy it as a family. We weren’t just engaged in a bunch of kid activities that were pleasant enough ways to pass the time, but instead were doing things we actually enjoyed.

It was the kind of day that I dreamed of when I wanted so desperately to be a parent.

This weekend wasn’t quite so idyllic. Saturday was fine – my son went to a kids-day at the DeYoung Museum with a friend while I took my daughter and her friends to a Crystal Fair. On Sunday, I accidentally locked my husband and kids in the backyard and then went for a run. They ended up stuck out there for two hours. I felt HORRIBLE. Luckily we had nothing else planned that afternoon so it didn’t mess up the rest of the day, but I continued to feel absolutely awful about it.

As things open up and we start doing stuff again, our weekends have taken on a certain rhythm. A rhythm I’m getting quite found of. Not every weekend is great, but most of them are pretty good, and even though a lot needs to happen between Friday afternoon and Sunday evening, we end up having some fun too.

I thought I’d document, for my own recollection later on, the current rhythm of our weekends.

FRIDAY

Prep at work. My son plays soccer on Friday afternoons, and he is able to participate without me bringing him there, so I take advantage of Friday afternoons to stay at work and get some stuff done. Most other days I have to book it pretty quick, so I don’t really mind staying on Friday afternoons. Also, no one is on campus and I have free reign of the copy machine! I also appreciate having a moment to plan the next week and get what I need ready before Monday.

Errands. I also usually take advantage of the extra time on Fridays to run an errand or two on the way home. Sometimes it’s Costco. Sometimes it’s PetCo. Sometime’s is the grocery store. But almost every Friday I stop somewhere on my way home.

Wash masks. The masks my son, husband and I use need to be hand washed, dropped in boiling water, and then hung to drip dry. They generally need the whole weekend to dry, so I have to get them washed on Fridays. It’s a whole process, and I won’t miss it when I don’t have to do it anymore (which may be sooner than I expected?!)

Laundry. I try to do laundry during off peak hours (9pm to 4pm), which means I do almost all our laundry on the weekends. I prep it all Friday night – sorting it into the Costco bags I use to transport it to and from the laundry area – and wash my son’s load starting at 9pm on Friday. I usually just leave his clothes in the dryer to fold them on Saturday morning because the load isn’t done until around 11pm. I do two more loads on Saturday morning and another two loads on Sunday morning. Sometimes I squeeze on in on Saturday night too.

Sleep over (daughter) + video games (son). My daughter spends the night at my in-laws house pretty much every Friday. My son comes home after soccer and gets to play video games with his dad (he would also get to have a sleep over with his grandparents, but chooses not to. He gets to spend one weekday afternoon with them every week.)

Movie. My husband and I try to watch a longer movie on Friday nights because our son gets to bed a lot early than our daughter and we have more time when just he is home.

SATURDAY

Chores. I usually do chores on Saturday morning. What those chores are depends on what needs to get done. I usually spend about an hour doing stuff around the house before getting my son ready for martial arts.

Martial arts. My son and I try to make it to the dojo on Saturday morning for class at 10am. So far we’ve been making it about half the time. My son’s class starts 30 minutes before mine, so my husband comes to pick him up. I drive the car down, and my husband takes the bus to meet us, and drives the car back. I take the bus back when I’m done. Sometimes I just stay for one class and am back around 12:15. Sometimes I stay for sparring and then I’m not back until almost 2pm.

Library. We frequently hit up the library on Saturday, because it’s closed early on weekdays and not open at all on Sundays. We get A LOT of books from the library, and we have to put a lot of them on hold, so most weeks we have to stop by there at least to pick up the hold books. It’s a very quick walk from our house – I love the library!

Outing. We usually do something on Saturday afternoons. Sometimes we do it as a family (after our daughter comes back, and sometimes we get together with friends. My husband is the one who plans most of the family outings and I plan most of the stuff with the kids’ friends.

Movie. My husband and I try to watch another movie on Saturday night. Sometimes we just watch a show.

SUNDAY

Morning video games. The kids play video games in the morning on Saturday and Sunday, but Sunday they are both home for it. Sometimes they play together, which is great. Most times my husband plays something with my son. I usually use this time to sleep in and/or do chores around the house.

Bath time with Bilbo. My daughter and I usually give her bearded dragon a “bath” on Sunday mornings. We put warm water in a big tub out in our driveway and let him swim around in the sun. We used to do this in the backyard but the backyard gets very little sun this time of year, so we’ve been doing it in the front. It’s funny to see the people walking by, wondering what we’re doing with a lizard in a big white basin full of water. It feels very “San Francisco” of us.

Run. I usually run on Sunday “morning” and I’m putting “morning” in quotes because I never seem to get out the door before 11am which means I’m never home until 1ish. I don’t run for two hours or anything, but its a 10ish minute drive to the park, then I have to get ready and stretch, then I run for about an hour, then I have to stretch and drive home. I always start later than I intend to and it always takes longer than I expect, but I always feel great doing it.

Outside time. We usually don’t do our big weekend outing on Sunday, but I always try to get the kids out of the house for at least a couple hours. Some mainstays are the park with a friend, or walking to a great shaved ice place and then eating the shaved ices at a nearby park. Sometimes we just walk to a spot to get boba tea or some other treat.

Lunch Prep. The kids prep the non-perishable parts of all five of their lunches on Sunday. We have enough Bentgo containers for them to prep the whole week. I finish up their lunches with the perishable parts each morning before I leave for work. I know they should be doing all their lunch prep at this point (at least my daughter should), but right now this feels like a good first step. They’ve been doing this all year, and it’s been a great lesson in “the thing you dread doing is rarely as bad as you think it’ll be.” They are even learning to get it done earlier in the day, because they hate having to do it later.

Family movie. We frequently watch a movie on Sunday afternoons/evenings. Sometimes I make pretzels, and if not, I make popcorn. The kids get to drink a soda. Last weekend we watched The Sandlot, which they loved. This weekend we rewatched Sonic the Hedgehog, which was better than I remembered. We don’t have too hard a time finding something because we have similar tastes (and we have pretty much every streaming service). My daughter struggles with movies, and a lot of times she leaves to read comics or something. If we don’t watch a movie we play a board game or Dungeons and Dragons. We play card games most weekday nights too.

And that is what are weekends are like these days. We’ve found a nice rhythm and I like it. It’s nice to enjoy the weekends; I remember that when they were younger Saturday and Sunday were a loooong 48 hour stretch. Now they seem much more relaxed and enjoyable, and I don’t take that for granted.

What are your weekends like these days?