The stuff that is NOT HELPING

I was right. I totally ran out of steam and this morning was a shit show. It started last night when I remembered at 11pm that I still hadn’t put wiper fluid in the car, even though I had been struggling to see every morning this week on the way to work. So I did that super late and it was annoying and I wasn’t asleep until way later than I meant to.

Then I got up five minutes later than usual this morning. And I left 10 minutes later than usual. And I got to school 15 minutes later than usual (there was an accident on my way to work). You may remember than Thursdays are my least favorite day because I teach four 85-minute classes and have no prep time. Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert which means we’ll be home really late.

I am officially over this week.

Some other stuff that is not helping…

I have two deep breaks in my skin, on my thumb and pointer finger than will NOT HEAL. I get these all the time because I cut my nails too short to keep from biting them, but usually they will heal if I keep them covered for a couple days. It’s been weeks and they are deeper and more painful than ever, despite constant attention from me. I’m sure it’s because my hands are so dry, but seriously, they are making me crazy. Keeping band-aids on the tips of your fingers is basically impossible, and with a band-aid on my thumb I can’t unlock my computer with my finger print. Blerg, I’m so over it.

Speaking of dry hands, they are dry because the heat is always blasting because it’s been cold here! I know it’s never really cold in San Francisco, but we’re a few weeks into a record breaking cold snap here in the Bay Area and it’s wearing on me. Our house is not well insulated, and my bedroom especially is always so cold. I’m sleeping in a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks, under several blankets and it’s still so chilly. It’s exhausting to feel so cold all the time, and it makes it really hard to do thinks like workout.

All the 7th and 8th grade classes are taking assessments this week. Which means I have to score said assessments. This is an unavoidable part of my job, I just wish it weren’t the same week that everything else feels crazy.

A bunch of kids will be out all of next week, which means I need to give them the work they will be missing. At this point I have it all copied so it’s not as bad, but getting to the point where I had it all ready was stressful and again, I just wish everything weren’t happening this week.

Speaking of kids that are out, I have several chronically absent students this year and it’s a massive energy and time suck managing their work make up. Many of them are having mental health struggles, so the timeline for making up work is uncertain.

Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert. She’s had rehearsal until late every evening this week. Today she will come home after school, get changed, and then we’ll bring her back to school at 5:45 (let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first!*), which means the 12yo and I will have over an hour to kill before the concert starts (it’s a 25 minute drive at that time of day, so it doesn’t make sense to go back home). I think there is a KFC over there so we can grab food and then head to the auditorium, which shouldn’t be too bad, but I know the 12yo will have shit to say about all of it.

Feeding the cats continues to be an exercise in frustration. Serval needs to eat special prescription food to dissolve the crystals in his urinary tract. Panther takes forever to finish her food. We always try to keep Serval from Panther’s food (because… feline obesity), but it feels especially important now. We switched Panther’s food to a brand that supports Urinary Care (but is not prescription) so it’s fine if Serval eats some of it, but again, feline obesity… so we have to watch them, or lock Serval out of the space where Panther is eating until she finishes. She generally eats some, leaves it for a while, then wants to go back and eat again later, which means the whole “cats are eating” thing requires at least some thought from me for 30-45 minutes, and my actual presence for a portion of that time.

The kids have been really helpful this week. I made it sound like I was doing everything in my last post, but that is not the case. They have been making some of their meals, cleaning up all their dishes after their meals, helping a ton with the cat feedings, coming home alone late from activities, and managing themselves alone a lot more than usual. The 12yo especially has really stepped up, he has been getting himself out of bed and ready and leaving for school entirely on his own every morning this week; the 15yo leaves right when he gets up and I call him right before he’s about to leave so he’s been very independent with his morning routine.

Again, I know things are not that bad right now. I just went looking for a post about that “let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first*” reference from last May, and I came across a post at the end of that month that was truly bonkerballs! Talk about having a lot on my plate! It definitely gave me some perspective and I’m glad I revisited it. I’m just tired and cold, and jonsing for the winter vacation to start.

* Last year the 15yo inadvertently locked us out of the house (by shutting the gate) when I was supposed to drive her to her spring concert. The car was parked on the street, but I didn’t have my keys to start it. She started taking public transport back to school, and ended up in an Uber. She got there right before the concert started, without her sheet music and the papers she needed to introduce all the songs (she was emceeing the first part of the event). It was an absolute shit show that I’m surprised I didn’t write about at the time, and that we are really hoping we don’t repeat this year.