Turning a corner

I’m happy to report that I seem to be turning a corner lately. Actually, many corners.

My knee is the biggest and best corner I’m turning. It feels more stable and more comfortable. When I walk it straightens completely and doesn’t feel wonky when it’s fully extended. When I sit down with my legs in front of me it feels like it’s complete straight. It hasn’t felt weak or wobbly in over a week. It just suddenly feels more normal. Today I didn’t have my brace on (by accident) during my entire first block period (85 minutes) and I didn’t even notice!

All the crossed appendages that it keeps going on this trajectory.

My mood has also improved a lot. I was certain that was the case yesterday morning when I realized I had forgotten my backpack, right after I parked in the school parking lot. This would normally send me into a panic but instead I just laughed. Luckily my super old MacBook still booted up and it ran Chrome fine all day so I was okay. There was only one other thing I really needed in my backpack, and I figured out a way to get around that.

Things have also continued to be challenging in some classes, but I’m not crying on the way home anymore. Tuesday I had to erase “F*** Profe [my last name]” off some furniture and it only made me a little bummed out. Last week it would have sent me spiraling.

Some physical symptoms strongly suggest (confirm) the low mood was hormone related. I always feel equal parts relief and frustration when I realize my crazy moods are hormone related – it a relief that it’s not “my fault” (not due to a sudden lack of coping skills) and frustrating that something I have no control over can affect me so negatively for so long.

Things are even looking up at work! If I were writing this this morning I would have said I was totally underwater at work, with a 50lb brick tied to my ankle, but then I got today’s 1.5 hour professional development to myself (the other Spanish teacher went to the training for her other subject and no admin showed up in our room), and I used that time so wisely that I’m feeling a lot better about where I’m at. I made another significant tweak to the Free Reading program and now I think it just might be manageable. I let you know in mid-April.

Finally, my sleep has finally evened out. It’s not great, by any means, but I’ve been reliably falling asleep around 11-11:30 and falling back asleep quickly after my 3/4am wake up. I’m feeling better rested for sure.

And now I’m going to wrap up what I’m working on so I can get out of here and get home at a reasonable hour. I also need to make sure I’m not supposed to check in with anyone before I leave…