This week has been a little rough for me. I’ve been super anxious about my knee; the possibility of just tripping weirdly and tearing my ACL completely makes me very nervous. I’m hyper aware of my leg all the time, which is exhausting for me. The time change has messed with me pretty significantly and I’m tired. I’m just feeling really wrung out right now. But some stuff is working pretty well, despite other things not working so great, and I’m here to write out all of them.
What’s working
My new knee brace. I really like my new knee brace, which I appreciate because it cost $200. It works especially well when I’m working out, because it protects my knee when I’m lying down as well as standing. It’s comfortable, but feels like it’s giving me a lot of support. I spent a lot of time looking at knee braces and it felt like very few of them got really good reviews, especially for women with smaller knees. This was one of those few, and I’m really pleased with it.
The stationary bike. My Peloton membership is only for weight training but they give you three complimentary “equipment classes” and I’ve taken a couple of the Bike Bootcamps and really like them. The bike works well to get my heart rate up and make my quads burn, which is exactly what I hoped it would do. I’ll probably up my membership to get access to the equipment classes for a couple of months, so I can keep making the most of the bike during my rehabilitation. Honestly, I might be in better shape at the end of this than before I hurt my knee.
{I’m also very grateful that we have a space to keep the stationary bike in the house without inconveniencing anyone. Just another reason I love having that space downstairs. Truly, it’s a godsend.}
My retractable pen contraction. Speaking of stuff I bought to solve a problem, I recently purchased these little things that go around a pen and have a clip. I put that on a retractable key ring and put that on my lanyard. Now I always have a pen hanging from my neck at work, which makes me inordinately happy. My students are always asking me to sign off on stuff or I have to fill out a pass for someone and my pockets were constantly full of pens and pencils. Now I just have one hanging from my keys at all time. I’m truly the happiest panda.
Taping the gate open. Wednesday Amazon was coming to pick up the giant, super heavy, cargo carrier I was returning. It also happened to be the day my knee brace was coming. Our front door is behind a metal gate that automatically locks when you shut it. I was worried that the brace would come first and the delivery person would shut the gate, making it impossible for Amazon to pick up the cargo carrier. So I taped the gate so it just couldn’t lock. And the brace did come first, but the cargo carrier still got picked up. I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had deliveries delayed because something came first and the gate was locked afterward so something else couldn’t be left safely behind it. I never once thought to tape the gate open. Now I will ALWAYS tape it open when I know two things are coming on the same day. This is seriously a game changer. (The moral of this story is clearly that we order WAY too much shit.)
New systems. I’ve been pushing myself to do ALL THE TASKS that need to happen before I leave for work the night before. I don’t leave the towels to start them in the morning, I put them in and get the load ready and delay the start for six hours. I don’t put a sticky note on my the mirror with a reminder to put something in the car, I just PUT IT IN THE CAR. I’ve been doing that this week because my in-laws are coming over at 7am to get the kids ready and take my son to school, and I want to have my car out of the garage before they get to the house. I’ve definitely been going to bed a little later, but I haven’t forgotten anything yet this week.
Some new systems at work are also working. The hour I spent printing stickers and organizing them with the tabs was absolutely worth it; I am getting free reading boards done way faster. I’m also making sure all my work is done the night before, in case my in-laws ever come late, making me later than I’m used to. This week would have been way more stressful if I weren’t being so proactive about staying on top of everything.
What’s not working
Sleep. Sleeping has sucked this week. I can’t fall asleep at night and the one night I did I woke up at 4:30am and couldn’t fall back asleep. Even with sleep aids I just can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep. It’s really starting to weigh on me. I’m really, really tired.
Managing my students. There are few creatures in the world as obnoxious as most middle schoolers in the spring. Truly, March to June is the worst time to be a middle school teacher. They are just out of their minds, distracted, unfocused, unaware. They don’t listen and then are indignant when faced with the consequences. I’m slipping into snark way more than I want to be. They are truly just driving me crazy right now. And my old systems are buckling under the weight of their total lack of fucks. It’s really hard to hang onto my own fucks when everyone else has freely given away theirs.
Craigslist. I’m trying to find a specific kind of table from IKEA and Craigslist keeps failing me. I either find one that works and I email them and it’s already gone, or I ask someone to maybe take more than $20 off the purchase price only to be denied. So I guess I’ll be heading to IKEA this weekend, and buying more furniture. At least I won’t have to drive two hours away to do that.
Knee rehab exercises. It has taken me a long time to identify some knee strengthening exercises that feel appropriate for my situation. Now that I have them, I’m finding it really difficult to do them 2-3 times a day. The amount of time this will require is significant, and I don’t have a lot of wiggle room at work. Or in the afternoons. It’s going to be tough. I have my first official PT appointment on Wednesday. I look forward to some guidance on all of this. (My sports med doctor did give me some suggestions on how to get started during our phone appointment.)
Continued radio-silence from my knee. My knee continues to give me almost no feedback on whether or not I’m pushing it too much. There are definitely positions that are uncomfortable (mostly when I try to bend it a lot), but it’s never sore after working out. This morning in bed I remembered how once, maybe 15 years ago, I got bit by a dog in Costa Rica (it was my fault, I didn’t see the dog sleeping in a really small doorway, and I stepped on it trying to see if an internet cafe was open). The wound was pretty gnarly – you could definitely see my shin bone – but it didn’t hurt. I distinctly remember the medic who attended to me being incredulous that it didn’t hurt. He kept pouring stuff into and saying, but does that hurt? He even waved people over to show them how he could pour the stuff into it and I didn’t even flinch. That dog bite happened on my right leg, and at the time I just assumed the bite had severed whatever nerve was supposed to hurt there, but now I’m wondering if there is just something wrong with my nerves on that leg. Like maybe whatever kept that dog bite from hurting is also keeping my knee from hurting? I really wish I could figure out if that is the case.
Well, I guess count it as a blessing that you’re not feeling any pain!
I’ve been beyond exhausted all week as well. The time change is messing with me badly for some reason.
Time change is evil. With jet lag you have the offset of adventure but DST changes you are in same place doing everything the same but with time change. We Voted not to do change but somehow that isn’t what is happening and I do not know why the politics work this way. I can tell you the time change gets harder for adults as you age is not helpful but seems to be true.
Really impressed by all your positive creative solutions to making your life easier and glad you found a brace that helps. Odd the no pain thing but if you felt pain with this it would make sleep and time change even harder so maybe your body is trying to help you out this time.
Support and thank you for writing an updating on how you are doing. WE CARE.
I’m really glad that the knee brace is comfortable and supportive!
That is REALLY curious that you’ve now had two injuries that don’t transmit pain as usual. You still feel pain as expected elsewhere, right? Do you feel really superficial stuff on the knee like, say, a pinch?
The time change this year hasn’t messed with our sleep more than usual but that’s because we STILL don’t have a sleep through the night toddler and our sleep is still disrupted constantly. Not awesome but I suppose I’m grateful it didn’t get even worse.
Your pen contraption is very cool! 🙂
Whew… A rough week here, too. State testing- New Jersey does not disappoint 🙁 Plus, solo parenting and time change. The result= a cranky mom that goes to bed early. Oh well, it is St. Patrick’s day weekend! I am Russian but I love, love St. Patrick’s day!
Ugh- all stages of an injury suck but the early stages are especially hard. Sounds like you’ve got certain things figured out- like you found a good brace- but are still struggling with others. Seeing a PT will definitely help! In the meantime have faith that your knee is still healing itself. I like to tell myself things like “My body knows exactly what to do.” Just the fact that you’re not stressing it out means you’re giving it time to heal, and your body is busy healing all the time.
So, I am wondering if you weirdly just don’t feel pain in that leg. What about the rest of your body? Do you feel pain in other places? I would say a dog bite where the bone was showing would be extremely painful for most people!