Ups and downs of late

Lots of ups and downs lately. Here are a few.

Moving our old fridge downstairs to the unit’s kitchen was a massive pain in the ass. It was a disaster. I couldn’t get the doors off because the bolts at the bottom were stripped, so we had to try to move it through several narrow door ways when it didn’t really fit. We ended up being able to open the doors and slide it in at angles, but each attempt required realizing we had it wrong half way through and pushing it back out to start again. We scratched deep gouges into the floor in multiple places that I’m pretty sure I can’t just buff out (not that I have any idea how to buff out deep gouges). We had to move SO MUCH furniture and other shit, and we even had to take the final door off its hinges. It was just a truly miserable 2+ hours, made even worse by my husbands seething resentment that we were doing any of it at all.

But taking the oldest fridge out confirmed we’d made the right move switching them, because it is covered in rust and mold. I had never noticed how truly disgusting it was, probably because I’ve never attempted to clean it.

So am I glad we took the fridge and did all this? I think so. It was so much work and badly timed right as the school year started, but I’m sure in a month or so I’ll be glad we did it. Right now I just don’t want think about how awful it was for a while (except I do think about it every time I see the deep gouges in the hardwood).

Despite working on my knee flexion daily for the last week I have not been able to replicate sitting on me knees like I did last Wednesday. It’s a bummer and I’m trying not to get too down in the dumps about it. I’ve gone from feeling certain I’d be able to sit on my knees again like I used to, to assuming there will only be some days I can do that. I supposed some days is better than no days.

My lower back pain has gotten pretty bad. I was googling “will I have lower back pain forever” earlier this week and a great many articles suggested that the answer was yes, I would. It used to be I only felt it when I was driving, but now I’m feeling it all the time, and stretching does nothing except alleviate the discomfort in the moment. It doesn’t really provide any real relief. I bought a program to build inner core strength and restore pelvic floor function, so I’m going to finish that before I see a new doctor about it (you may remember, my previous doctor left in May), because I doubt they will offer me more than the anti-inflammatory Rx that I already have numerous refills of.

I can’t really believe that I’m only 44 and am suffering from lower back pain. It’s amazing how much my health has disintegrated since I turned 40. My sleep turned to shit, my eye sight gets considerably worse every year, my periodic lower back pain has become chronic, and my mental function is a mess. If things keep degenerating at this rate I’ll be a disaster by my mid-50s.

Speaking of being old, today I was recognized (among other teachers) at the district’s Back-to-School breakfast for 20 years of service. The last time I was supposed to be recognized (15 years), they decided not to say the names, and I believe when I hit 10 years they also didn’t do it (I remember being LIVID at 15 that they picked my year AGAIN to skip it). Evidently my colleagues were thrown by the fact that I’ve been teaching so long because they were bringing it up all day. I did start fairly young (I was 24) and have stayed in the same place the whole time, so that probably has a lot to do with it. Still, it was kind of nice, after being denied recognition for my last two milestones, to be recognized so much today. 20 years is a LONG ASS TIME to be in the same job, especially when you’re 44. I was trying to figure out when I’ll have been teaching longer than not and I guess it will be when I’m 49 or 50? Because then I’ll have been teaching for 25 years, and wasn’t teaching for 24. That will be crazy.

And now, on to some happier news.

Both kids had good first days back at school. I turned in the proper paper work for our son to leave on his own and he walked home with a friend on Monday and alone today. We’re definitely still working on what the 1ish hour he’ll be alone at home should look like, but I think that will be easier once he’s back at the dojo 2-3 weekday afternoons. I also cancelled our wait list spot with the aftercare program AND was able to decrease my monthly contribution to our Dependent Childcare Account, because I realized that without aftercare this fall, I’ll be about $1K short of the $5K in qualifying childcare costs (our daughter’s summer camps don’t count because she was 14 all summer). I cannot believe we won’t be paying for aftercare at all this school year! I’m SO EXCITED!

I also won’t be taking my daughter to swimming (she’ll need to take the bus and with the extra 15 minutes and the bus line she’s close to, it’s doable) which means most days of the week I get to just DRIVE HOME WITHOUT STOPPING ANYWHERE FIRST. I can’t really believe this. My guess is, it will improve my quality of life significantly, and I am SO, SO EXCITED to not be driving my kids around so much this year. I’m even going to take my son to the dojo on the bus, which I prefer to trying to park in the middle of the Mission. Maybe by the end of the year, he’ll be able to bus to the dojo on his own! (I’m not banking on this, but I bet it’ll be possible).

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is my first day with students. I have my rosters printed, my desks numbered, my turn in baskets and no-name trays labeled and my copies made (for the first few days). I even drew on my windows! (I REALLY did not want to do it this year, but I love my windows catching everyone’s eyes when they’re stuck in traffic in front of my classroom, so I sucked it up and got it done.) My classroom looks good and I feel good about what I have planned for the first three days. I’m honestly kind of shocked I got my shit together as well as I did, since I got in late AND had to leave early both Monday and Tuesday because of my kids’ first days. I didn’t even start actually preparing for Wednesday until mid-Monday and at least an hour of that time was spent looking for a handout I never ended up locating. I obviously still have tons to do, but I’m confident I can get through tomorrow with minimal issues.

I wanted to write more but now it’s late and I need a good night’s sleep. Last night I didn’t remember about the laundry until almost midnight so I had to stay up until 1am to hang my husband’s work shirts. It sucked, and I need to make up some time tonight.