Insecurities and Self-Advocacy

I electronically accepted the terms of my life insurance policy this weekend. I have continued to feel a lot of ambivalence about purchasing this policy, and a lot of shame and regret about my ADD meds resulting in an increased premium. Whether or not I NEED my medication and whether or not I should stay on it is a source of constant anxiety for me, and to be financially penalized for doing so has brought up a lot of difficult and painful feelings for me.

I’m not sure what finally compelled me to call them about it this morning. I suppose having actually accepted the policy and paying for the first month was part of it. I knew I had a month to terminate the policy if I found another provider that wouldn’t penalize me as much (or at all) for my prescription and I wanted to call them to see if it were possible to stop taking my medication for 12-18 months and then either reapply or request a reclassification.

The person I spoke to was very kind and very helpful, as has been everyone I’ve dealt with there–the customer service at this company is exemplary. He explained that I could submit a letter from my doctor explaining that my prescription is not for a life-threatening condition and that it does not represent the existence of, or pose, any immediate or long term health risks. The underwriter can then determine if I am eligible for the reduced rate.

My psychiatrist is amazing and already wrote me the letter and put it in the mail. I’m not sure if this will qualify me for the reduced rate but I’m so glad I’m at least making the attempt. I can’t figure out why I didn’t ask about this immediately; it seems the shame, regret and self-blame was paralyzing me. (I’ll be thinking about why this was a lot in the coming weeks.) I REALLY hope that this letter works, and if it doesn’t, I’ll be contacting them again to see if I can stop taking my medication for a certain amount of time and again request a review for a reduced rate. I’ll also shop around and see if there are other providers that won’t penalize me as much, or at all.


  1. I wish I’d done something similar about my “high cholesterol”– which was high specifically because I was nursing a newborn. Good for you for taking charge like that.

    1. Maybe you can still look into that? Is there a time after which you can’t petition for a better rate? I honestly have no idea, this whole world is super new to me.

  2. Ugh, it’s so hard to be penalized for something you’d doing for your health and sanity and stability. I’m glad your doc was able to write a note so quickly for you. We purchased Life Insurance through Thrivent when we got married 6 years ago, and it definitely gives us peace of mine to have that 30yr policy in place. Now if I could just get around to writing up a will. *sigh*

    1. I’m impressed you got life insurance before you had kids. I don’t know anyone who has it who doesn’t have kids. That is some forward thinking.

  3. Congratulations on making the call. I find I’m so much better at advocating for my children than I have ever been for myself. I should also delve into why that is, but I tend to avoid conflict, even when it’s my own internal conflict at hand. I hope the letter works!

    1. I am also much better at advocating for my kids, I’m much better at taking care of my kids in general than I am at taking care of myself. I think it’s just easier, when it’s something for us, to put it off or say, next time I’ll do it better. We can forgive ourselves our own transgression against ourself… or at least ignore how negatively things affect us…

  4. I know why you didn’t call sooner…. You didn’t expect it to go so well and worried it may create more stress or disappointment. I TOTALLY put of the things that I know may create more work, follow up, and/or stress. And half the time, it doesn’t! But you don’t know that going in.

    I wish you luck on this!!!

    1. I definitely have not wanted to expend more energy on this, it’s already required so much time. And the thought of researching other companies and finding out what their policies on this are just makes me die a little inside. But it’s such a significant amount of money, I can’t in good conscious just blow it off, as much as I want to just accept the loss and move on…

  5. Did you look at your post- high school college programs for alumni? They are often a good bet. And sometimes, but not always, at least in the past you could have two policies, different companies and have same total coverage but less premium and no physical exam issues……..
    Glad you called. AND posted because I expect some who read this may review their own legal/insurance policies and that might really make a survivor’s difference. Which is the point of trusts/wills/insurance.

  6. Ugh it seems so unfair! Especially if you passed the physical with flying colors. Actuarial tables be damned, I hope the letter gets you a reduced rate.

  7. Damn, now I really wished I’d done the same when we got life insurance (I had gotten prescriptions for “just in case” asthma meds, though I haven’t used them in YEARS before or since). Turns out it IS too late to change anything, I could cancel and get a new policy, but since I’m 5 years older, the rates would be the same in any case.

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