Just What We Needed

This weekend was awesome. It was just what we needed. My husband and I had an amazing time. Not one frustrated word was exchanged, not one angry minute was passed. It was pure bliss. I am so thankful that we were able to spend three days away from the kids, reconnecting with each other.

On the drive down to my parents’ house on Monday I asked my husband if he thought we could keep this rekindled connection going when things got crazy again. He believes we can, and I think he recognizes that it’s worth putting in a little work to do it. I don’t think he realized how bad it had gotten, but after three days of really enjoying each other, he sees how much distance had accumulated between us.

The plan is to spend at least ten minutes every evening snuggling on the couch (my request) and talking about non-kid/parenting related topics (his request). I said I’d try to initiate these moments, but that I’d appreciate his support if he noticed I seemed distant or frazzled and wasn’t starting things myself. He agreed. We start tomorrow, which is his birthday.

The weekend really was wonderful. It was low key, but fun. On Saturday morning we slept in. Lounging in bed it one of my favorite things about being away from the kids–I could spend an entire day in bed and never get bored. We had a reservation for brunch at 11am so we did eventually have to get up. We took BART and then walked to North Beach from downtown. It was a beautiful day and we played tourist after we ate. We even hiked up to Coit Tower to enjoy the view of the many sailboats on the bay.

We had a lot of time to kill before dinner so we took our time meandering in the general direction of Japantown. When we finally arrived we were thrilled to discover the annual Anime and Cosplay festival taking place. The people watching was amazing. We hung out in Japantown for hours, just checking out everyone’s costumes and drinking iced sweet potato lattes. We did a little window shopping and then headed to the Kabuki theater to see Trainwreck.

The Kabuki has 21+ showings where drinks are sold so we got a couple 20 ozs of white ale and settled in for the movie, which we both really liked. It was the perfect combination of romantic and comedy for us and Amy Schumer and Bill Hader were fantastic.

After the movie we went to the restaurant for dinner. We had an hour to kill so we got some drinks at the bar. This restaurant has a fixed price per person and then you choose six things from a list of 12-15 and they bring enough of each dish for the people at the table. Each dish we tried was more exquisite than the one before. The cocktails were also amazing. We enjoyed ourselves immensely–I understand now why it’s so hard to get a reservation at this place.

After dinner we headed home, watched some TV and “went to bed.” It was a lot of fun. 😉

Sunday we met my sister and her boyfriend for brunch, spent the afternoon lounging on the couch (it was hot and humid in the city that day and we didn’t want to walk around) and then met some friends for dinner. Sunday’s dinner was as exquisite as Saturday’s–each dish was more interesting than the one before. After we ate we walked to our favorite neighborhood bar and near midnight we caught the bus home.

Months ago, when it was clear we couldn’t afford to go anywhere during our weekend without the kids, I thought long and hard about what I really love about being away for a few days. For one, a big part of going away is showing up at a clean hotel room and not having to worry about cooking or cleaning while I’m there. The house was all cleaned up from our party Friday and my husband made enough reservations that we didn’t have to eat at home, so we were able to enjoy that aspect of “being away” this weekend. Another thing I love about getting out of San Francisco is the feeling of escaping all the issues back at home. If I’m not at my house, the daily troubles don’t touch me. I tried really hard to get into that mindset this weekend, and I didn’t let myself dwell on some of the stuff coming up. I didn’t even do one load of laundry.

There were also some pluses to staying put while our kids were away–we were able to spend time with friends in ways that require a lot of planning when our kids are around. It was so nice to have brunch and dinner with other adults the second day; adding their voices to the conversation enlivened it and helped us to not get bored with one another. It also allowed us to try way more food on Sunday night.

The house was in immaculate condition this weekend and I realized that when it’s that clean I not only feel less stressed and more positive, but I genuinely enjoy and actually kind of love where we live. When our house is really clean it feels big and spacious and airy. It looks really nice. I think the kinds of things about it that I think about other people’s houses, houses that generally seem bigger and nicer and more expensive than mine. Realizing that I can feel that way about my own home was an eye opener. Now I just need to figure out how to keep it in good shape more of the time.

So the weekend was everything I needed it to be. I feel refreshed and rejuvenated for the last half of summer. I also find myself thinking more and more about the coming school year, both my own and my daughter’s. I definitely turned the corner this weekend and left the “summer has begun” mentality and entered the “summer is ending” mentality. Luckily I’m feeling, for the most part, enthusiastic and positive about the fall. I’m eager to start planning for some of my classes. I hope to visit school in the next few weeks, meet our new principal, check out my schedule, and get started ordering supplies (the PTA reimburses us for a certain amount of spending that can start in August, so I will be buying some stuff for work during my “ban” but all of it will be reimbursed once the school year starts). I’m glad we still have four weeks before school starts, but I’m ready to start thinking about it now.

I really hope my husband and I can maintain our reestablished connection. It would so help us get through the huge transitions that lay ahead.