Looking toward this fall

This was a hard week. I cried a lot. It’s been a few weeks since I cried as much as I did this week. I’m so exhausted. I’m so tired of managing my kids’ big feelings. I’m tired of managing their school work. I’m tired of managing their disagreements. I’m tired of managing all of it.

My house is a disaster area. My husband can’t go shopping and we’re down to the last of our reserves. I’ll have to head out this weekend and I hate grocery shopping on the weekends.

We finally got something from our superintendent about schools opening again in the fall. Here were some points:

• We may start the year in Distance Learning mode or on sites August 19. We will be prepared for either scenario.
• We must plan for students and staff to practice social distancing by staying 6 ft. apart, washing hands often, sanitizing rooms during the day, and possibly everyone wearing masks.
• With social distancing, will students go to school campuses every day? Every other day? Half day? We do not know the answer yet.
• During the school year, we may need to return to Distance Learning at home for some weeks if there are high levels of COVID-19 infection and hospitalizations.  

I’m starting to realize that there is a much bigger chance of us “returning” in distance learning mode than I had originally thought. This is… a disheartening realization. It was hard enough ending the year in distance learning mode, but starting it that way? When we need to meet and build relationships with our students? It’s going to be really hard.

And if we do go back on some kind of hybrid model (this is what I’m still hoping for), what happens if my kids go to school on different days than I go to school? What will we do? My parents have said they would help, but I worry about exposing them to the virus. They aren’t 70 yet but they are close.

It feels like everything is teetering. It’s clear that nothing will emerge unscathed.

This is what our district is focusing on as it tries to plan possible scenarios for next year:

• Schedules and facility use/cleaning
• Teaching and learning in and out of school
• Technology support for every student and teacher
• Social, emotional and mental health of students
• Parent education and support
• Mitigating learning loss and meeting students where they are

There is so much to consider, and many of these considerations are at odds with each. Throw in a budget crisis, which will probably mean larger class sizes and furlough days (less time teaching) and it’s clear that something will have to give. And that something is almost assuredly the education of our students.

These changes to our educational model will have negative consequences for all students, but they will be profoundly damaging for students from lower socioeconomic households where parents can’t help with distance learning or provide the enrichment activities that students in wealthier households will be getting. The achievement gap, which is already a gaping canyon, will stretch the yawning distance between continents.

This pandemic is set to dramatically change our institutions, some maybe even for the better, but I don’t know how public education is going to survive with these continued restrictions. Public schools are already underfunded to the point of dysfunction, and with the economic crisis looming, it will only get worse. Public school funding is always the first thing to go.

This summer is going to be fraught with uncertainty. As a teacher, I will be spending a lot of unpaid hours preparing for next year so that the fall is not as exhausting as this spring has been. I guess the good news is I have plenty of time to do it.

What are public education officials in your school districts saying about reopening in the fall? What messages are your communities receiving.