I need to be up this morning at 6:45am, and I was really stressed out last night that I’d snooze through my alarms, so when I woke up on my own at 6:10am I decided to come up and write a blog post. The idea of being jerked away in the middle of a sleep cycle did not sound fun, so I avoided it (and got to write a blog post)!
It’s Monday, and it’s a real Monday in that my kids need to get their butts up and get ready for camp at the (in their minds) ungodly hour of 7am. After a year plus of 8:30am wake ups, we desperately need this practice before the start of the school year.
Which is rapidly approaching! I’m basically in full “let’s get ready for school” mode! Now that my house is pretty picked up (the surfaces are clear but the bag of surface shit remains – today is the day I finally tackle it), I can actually clean the floors. I’m really pleased that we had people over this past week, which provided a much needed impetus to get the house in order. 16 months at home really did a number on the place, and to be perfectly honest, it hasn’t had a really deep clean since we rented it out on AirBnB in 2018. I’ve been doing a lot more of that kind of deep cleaning as I’ve picked it up, so steam cleaning the floors will bring us to a good place.
Later this week I’m going to drive to work (for the first time in a month!) to see what the staff room is looking like. The secretary is being paid hourly to move the old staff room into the (much smaller) new staff room and she indicated (in late June when I last saw her) that she would be done by now. If she’s not done I’ll ask my principal what I can do to get the space ready. I have a feeling that I’ll have two choices on moving: (a) do it myself on the timeline that I am comfortable with (and work many more unpaid hours) or (b) wait until it’s done for me (on a timeline that absolutely stresses me out). It’s a lose/lose situation, and when my classroom is a factor, I’m sure I’ll pick the “lose” where I lose my own time (doing it myself), and not my sanity (waiting for someone else to do it).
Not a super interesting post, but it’s where my head is at. I have a few other posts rattling around but they feel hard (especially the one about thoughts as I fill out our will and trust and rank our guardianship choices for our kids – ugh it’s so hard). So instead I come here with what’s been happening and what’s about to happen. I really am in “get it done” mode because I have two weeks of both kids in camp and I really do need to get stuff done. I want to start the year feeling prepared, and after all the upheaval of the pandemic that requires a lot of time and mental energy.
I am feeling all kinds of feelings about starting the school year with the delta variant raging (even here where we have high vaccination rates!). I still believe that my kids (and students) need to be at school full time, and in the end I am most worried that either district will pull back on their commitment to full time in person learning. But I’m also aware that with this new “hyper transmissible” (that is the phrase they are using now) variant of the virus, my (unvaccinated, under 12-year-old) kids will be returning in person at precisely the time when they have the most chance of actually getting sick.
Yes, our vaccination rates are high, but my kids go to the schools with the children of the populations in this area that are least likely to be vaccinated. My daughter will be attending a middle school where I’m assuming very few of the 7th and 8th graders (let alone 6th graders that have already turned 12, of which there will be very few in the fall) will be vaccinated. So they’ll all be packed into classrooms, with new groups of students every period, transmitting this new hyper transmissible variant as well as adults do (because of their age). Yes they will all be wearing masks* (the only thing keeping me sane right now), but it feels like only a matter of time until my daughter comes home sick, especially since they’re now saying the approval for kids under 12 won’t happen until mid-winter (I can’t actually find where “they” are saying this, but I’ve seen it referenced in multiple places so I’m assuming it’s been said).
I have so many feelings about how much in person learning my kids missed out on, only for them to have to return when their actual safety levels are probably at their lowest. I’m not going to go on a rampage about who is responsible for this situation, but suffice it to say, I’m really fucking mad about it.
I am deeply grateful that I will feel really safe seeing 150+ students in my classroom every day, and that I don’t have to worry about unknowingly bringing this hyper transmissible variant back to my family. Yes, there are breakthrough cases, but at this point it makes more sense for me to stress out about my kids getting it at school themselves, and not me bringing it back to them. These vaccines are incredibly effective and I’m trying hard not to let the media’s incessant (and confusing) coverage of mostly anecdotal breakthrough cases lead me to believe otherwise. (Hey, breakthrough cases are exceedingly rare, but here is a bunch of them that happened.)
Well that went a direction I wasn’t intending, but I guess I’m not surprised. I can’t really write about my “returning to school” mentality without getting into all the thoughts and feelings I’m processing about my kids getting 10 days of in person learning when it was much safer for them to be in a classroom, only to return full time now that delta is raging. Because that is absolutely in the background of all of it, making it hard to concentrate on anything else.
How are you feeling about the fall, and the start of school?
*I feel so deeply for families in states where schools cannot require masks in the classroom – that is absolute insanity and I’m honestly not sure what I would do if my governor were asking me to have my kids sit in a room with 32 other unmasked adolescents, in an area with middling vaccination rates. I’m so relieved and thankful that mask mandates in our schools are assured.
I guess I’m lucky in that my kids seem not to have been negatively affected by at-home learning. In fact, if anything, I think this last year+ of totally virtual school (the schools were open full time, but I chose not to send them) has really enabled them to make more academic progress than they would have in-person.
Unfortunately, it looks like there’s not going to be a virtual option in the fall. I’m sure it will be fine. I’m less worried about Covid than I am about them not learning as much as they would if they were home. I have a job, so can’t homeschool full time, but virtual school was really the best of both worlds.
I realize that I may be one of the few people with this perspective, though.
I keep reading about people for whom virtual learning was a panacea. It’s awesome that that was the case for you. It was not the case for my kids (I don’t know how it could be for a 1st grader). Mine definitely need to be back in the classroom. I just wish it didn’t mean such a high chance of them getting sick.
Hoping you have N95 masks for the children. It IS a worry.
REALLY proud of you for all the clean up and now getting floors done. Also totally agree you are making sensible choice to do your move your time and done your way! Much less stressful and you will be more ready for the start.
Sending all much support and good wishes!
I have not been able to find N95 or KN95 masks that fit them. If anyone had a link to share please send it.
My son’s preschool in SF just notified us that a pod had to shut down down last week due to a breakthrough transmission from someone fully vaccinated. This school has been open to essential workers for the entirety of the pandemic and has never had to shut down a pod until now. This has me very worried about public school in the fall.
Well, I know I’m always the outlier in your comment section on this topic, but I’m truly not worried about the kids going back in the fall at all. Our school hasn’t yet declared if masks will be required in the elementary or not, but I’m honestly hoping that they aren’t. Most of our 12-18 year olds are vaccinated already as well.
The Delta variant is more transmissible, but there has been absolutely no indication that it’s any more dangerous than previous ones. This means that the clinical course of COVID-19 in children is still usually mild or asymptomatic meaning I’m no more worried about the kids getting COVID vs. pneumonia or influenza.
You may find this study interesting: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-85340-0
I think I’m most concerned about lots of forced 2 week closures when there is a positive test. We are in a relatively high vacation area but it seems inevitable. The unpredictability is hard for be and lots of change is hard on my kids especially the older one who straight up has abandonment issues now after how the pandemic played out in spring 2020. I get pretty discouraged sometimes especially when it seems so avoidable! If everyone who is eligible got vaccinated we would not be in this situation!
Yeah, this is what I’m also freaking out about. It’s going to be a shit show and I’m not going to manage it badly. I just want to get to mid-winter when my kids can get vaccinated.
Yeah, I don’t know why but I’m more worried about my kids getting it than I was before. And I’m way more convinced they will get it than I was before. And I’m frustrated about all the unnecessary shit we went through last year (not being offered in person learning) and all the unnecessary shit we’re going through now (because enough people aren’t vaccinated). I guess I just have to get over it though, because what will be will be. I just need to be mentally prepared for all the insanity that will result from my kids being sick with other things, and needing to stay home at the first sign of illness and then stay there until they are mostly symptom free. It’s going to be a shit show, one I’ll be I’ll equipped to handle after the flexibility of distance learning last year.
I’m in the same boat. I now think it’s inevitable my kids will get it. My older son was in school for a good chunk of last year and I didn’t really worry about it. There wasn’t a single case of transmission at the school. I really trusted masks and all the other protocols. But with delta and the 3 year old back at school, I feel like the three year old could get it — delta is more transmissible and masking is harder for preschoolers. Im going to get my older son KF94 masks but I don’t think the younger one will wear anything other than a cloth mask with his favorite characters which I’m sure offers minimal protection. I think he will be fine if he gets it but it is disorienting to be so accepting of this situation. Also I guess this means I need to keep the kids away from my parents given the data on waning effectiveness. Ugh.
It’s my (rising) 6th grader that I worry about with the mask wearing. She has consistently struggled with mask wearing. She always pulls her mask down. She talks constantly and it falls down even if she hasn’t pulled it down specifically. She HATES the feel of paper masks, so I don’t think she can handle a KN95 (though I’m going to get some and have her try them). It’s weird – her “sensory processing disorder” stuff (extreme sensitivity to certain feelings on her skin, the need for compression) has really flared up recently. This summer has been a whole journey through her inability to keep her bathing suit on as it’s drying. She wants to take it off immediately and just walk around naked with a towel on (in public). She’s struggling to accept that she can’t do that kind of stuff anymore (because she’s 11). It’s been really hard. So I don’t know if she can handle the kind of mask wear she needs to do to protect herself. And I don’t think pushing it will just make everything worse. It’s going to be tough.
That sounds tough for your daughter! I find the KF94 masks (from Korea) to be more comfortable than the surgical masks. I dislike surgical masks. But I also like masks that have a snug fit. I’m not sure if she would. The brand I like the most is Dr. Puri and they do come in different sizes. You can also do a cloth mask with a filter, which I might try to do for my younger one.
I too am worried about my child getting sick at school. But I really want him back in school! So I guess its a risk we have to take…He has virus induced asthma ( a simple cold would always require a trip to the doctor for medication), I am hoping that if he does get the virus it won’t make him too sick. And I am worried that our district will pull back on the mask mandate…we are in SM Co so I am hoping that our district will require it. All sorts of feelings on this…And shout out to you for all the unpaid hours you work! I know all our teachers work so many hours they are not compensated for AND buy materials on their own dime. AND stress on their jobs while they are on vacation. Thank you Thank you!!!