Thank you for listening to me wax philosophical about what I want and need. I’m sorry if those posts are super obnoxious. I probably read more about that specific topic than most people (::cough:: minimalism blogs ::cough::, so I’m always asking those questions, and I’m frequently struck by how few answers I can find. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve read that follow the same basic structure of: (1) Had too much clutter (stuff and schedule) (2) cleared clutter (3) determined what mattered most to me (4) made all future decisions based on this newfound clarity about what I actually value.
My story has not been so linear or tidy (ha!). I’ve been pursuing minimalism in some form (if even just the mindset) for years and I’m still stuck somewhere between 1 and 2. I never seem to determine what really matters and I certainly can’t use that clarity to make better decisions moving forward.
Maybe my ADHD brain can’t focus long enough to figure any of this out.
I guess there is a reason that I’m not, nor will I ever be, selling my brand. My brand is clearly “fumbling through life,” and I suppose that is most people’s brands, which is why we all flock to the Instagram accounts and blogs of those who have it more together.
I tell myself it’s still valuable to ask, even if I’m never quite sure of the answers. Who knows, maybe if I keep asking, I stumble across them one day, seemingly by mistake!
Do you ask questions you can’t answer? Why do you keep asking them?
I have been a lot about minimalism myself in recent years, and the idea appeals to me. However, I live with a husband and two children who don’t share my enthusiasm — ha!
Unlike you, we are in a city where housing prices are relatively reasonable. Three years ago in May, when my sons were 5 years old, we moved to our current house because my husband had felt since our twins were toddlers that we needed more space.
This house has one more bedroom, 1.5 more bathrooms, and nearly twice the square footage of our old house. We definitely have enough space now! Maybe a little too much space at present. . . but we bought this house with an eye toward whether it would accommodate our family of four when our sons are teenagers/young adults as well because I don’t plan to move again until we downsize in retirement.
Now that my sons are old enough to be more responsible and helpful (not saying that they *are” responsible and helpful consistently, just saying that there are old enough to be), I am working with them to keep up areas of the home that have been decluttered and organized, as well as decluttering their own spaces. (You know kids: their bedrooms and playroom are consistently the most cluttered and messy spaces in the house.) I am optimistic that if I help them form this mindset and these habits in childhood, they won’t grow up with my bad habits. 😉
I keep asking questions and not being sure about answers and when I question why I look back 10 or more years and see all the new things I have learned and different choices I have made and all the ways my world is improving….. slowly, very slowly, but improving.
What’s the word in your area about schools open or closed and being at work or working from home. Am temporarily living in different city (black ice created problems and I am helping out) and today really noticed less freeway traffic and lots more adults out and about…. perhaps ‘working from home’ on the tennis courts. Are you taking steps beyond hand washing? What do you predict?
What if… Stick with me here… We’re all stuck between 1 and 2? I know I am. Seriously I have been so cutthroat the past few years getting rid of so much stuff I would’ve never gotten rid of before – – many many books, Beatles memorabilia, many scientific journals and magazines I had kept that I’m never going to read, etc. etc. I’m fairly ruthless with the kids’ toys and clothes too. We don’t keep that many extra sheets or towels or blankets on hand. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of pots and pans and kitchen stuff that we rarely use. I get almost all my bills electronically and same with health insurance EOBs etc. So I stopped a lot of paperwork. I signed up for the list to not get catalogs anymore. I regularly go through the papers that come home from school and recycle a lot of art even though I wish I could keep it. But yet… There are still piles and bins of stuff. I feel like I’m never going to be on top of it.
Is it just that the other people who are on top of it have bigger houses than we do? Like they live in the Midwest or something? I feel like I’m trying so hard…My house will look good for like a week after I’m off for the kids’ two week break or something and then that’s it. It goes back to being cluttered the rest of the year.
(And really PTO, if you send something out via email we don’t need a paper flyer too! Especially when I get 2 because I have two kids at the school!)
I fully understand and agree; what helps me, however, is to imagine what the place would look like if I hadn’t been decluttering consistently and regularly for years…… hoarder’s paradise comes to mind. Celebrate what you have accomplished and keep on doing what you can when you can.
Culturally we tend to see and admit and hold only the negative side, change that as much as you can. Celebrate yourself for all you have done; it takes lots of hard focused attention to have done all the de-cluttering you enumerate!
Your first paragraph is really remarkable work well done, reward yourself! GOLD STARS to you!