Revisiting my 2017 Goals

So I was feeling really “meh” about making resolutions, and/or setting goals for this year, and then I remembered the goals I wrote out for 2017. I knew before I even revisited them that I hadn’t achieved most of what I set out to do last year, but I was really struck by how LITTLE I accomplished. Of course there were things I did that weren’t on my radar in January of 2017, but there was a lot on my radar at the start of the year that dropped off completely. Revisiting this list, and seeing how little I actually accomplished, just makes me all the more committed to NOT formalizing goals in 2018. Clearly, writing out goals is a waste of my time, as I don’t achieve them. Even more evidence that I need to accept myself for who I am, and be okay with my life as it is.

Q1 (JAN-MAR)

PROFESSIONAL
*Write and teach “fútbol” chapter. I did end up writing this, barely.
Connect with two difficult students in each class. Nope. I never do this. And I always wish I did. And my classroom management still sucks.

PERSONAL
Meditate 5-10min/day during work week. Bwahahaha! I can’t remember the last time I meditated. I don’t think it happened once this past year.
Take Vitex every morning and Tumeric every night (make this a habit). I don’t take either of these anymore, but I should start taking Vitex again (my period has been super wonky lately, and I do believe Vitex helps regulate it). I AM taking Magnesium and B-6 daily though, so that’s good.
CREATIVE
Draw pictures for “fútbol chapter.”  I started to do this, and it was taking forever, so I ditched the effort completely.
HOUSE
Find contractor and make appointment to look at water damage and talk about the possibility of pocket doors. We still have not done this, and we really, really need to.
*Get heating ducts/furnace replaced. We did this! Yay!
FINANCIAL
Track spending for 3 months. Ha! Still haven’t done this, despite trying SO MANY TIMES.
Only buy necessities. Again, a goal I never achieve. Not ever.
FAMILY
30-60 minutes of quality time with each kid per week. I don’t know if I did this. I do think I am better about trying to carve out QT with each kid each week, but it’s a lot harder to make that happen now that my ILs spend most of their time in Texas. They move there indefinitely in February so it’s not going to get any easier…
*Buy St. Louis tickets for summer. I did do this, but I’m not sure if I did it in the 1st quarter. We got decent flights for a decent price so I’m fine with it.
MARRIAGE
*Hang out 2 times per week (put on calendar). I don’t think we were doing this at the beginning of last year, but we are probably doing this now. Thank you Desus and Mero!
Friends:
Meet up with a friend one time per month. Remember how I spent a couple of years obsessively trying to make new friends and doubling down on my past friendships? Well, not surprisingly, nothing came of any of it. I’m down yet another close friend, and haven’t made any new ones. The only thing that has changed is I stopped caring about having/making good friends, and I think I’m much happier since I let that go. It’s not something you can make happen, no matter how hard you try.

Q1 GOALS ACHIEVED: 3.5/14

Q2 (APR-JUNE)
Professional:
*Apply for at least 2-3 jobs (even if I’m not really interested in them). I did this! And then I didn’t get any of the jobs I applied for! But I did this!
Prepare “fútbol” chapter for TeacherPayTeachers and post. Did not do this. Barely had this chapter ready for the end of the year, and ended up using other people’s illustrations so I couldn’t sell it.
Purge when I pack up my classroom (UGH!!!!) Didn’t do enough of this, and I’m paying for it now.
PERSONAL
Meditate 10-15 minutes a day. Nope.
CREATIVE
Morning pages during work week. Nope. God, I forgot I even did this, or read the Artist’s Way, or thought so much and so hard about creativity.
HOUSE
Purge winter clothes before packing away. I really struggled with purging this year. I don’t know why.
Purge kids’ toys. See above.
FINANCIAL
Review tracked spending. Hard to do this when I didn’t track my spending.
Make short- and long-term financial goals with husband and create action plan. We did not do this. We have never done this. We should really do this.
Continue only buying necessities. Ha! I love that I assumed I would make it three months with this one.
FAMILY
Spend 10 minutes of QT with each kid 5 days a week. This does not happen 5 days a week. At all. Maybe twice a week?
Create list of city adventures to take with the kids during the summer. Did we take any city adventures this summer? I don’t think so… I honestly can’t remember…
*Plan San Diego trip. We eventually took this, but I remember we were planning it right before we left so… this kind of happened?
MARRIAGE
*Continue hanging out once during work week and once during weekend. I would say this happens now, I don’t think it happened then.
*Listen to the same podcast during week and discuss during hang out. We watch Desus and Mero instead. And my husband shares his favorite tweets with me, and we laugh. I consider each of these half-achieved, as I managed them eventually, if not at the time.
FRIENDS
Meet up with a friend 2 times per month. Definitely didn’t happen.

Q2 GOALS ACHIEVED: 3/16

Q3 (JULY – SEPT)

PROFESSIONAL
??? Yep, that’s about right.
Get Day of the Dead chapter ready and post on TpT. I totally forgot I even wanted to do this. Damn.
PERSONAL
Meditate 15 minutes a day. F*****ck, I really wanted to meditate. Meditating is not even on my radar these days. It’s weird how we obsess about things that later we don’t even think about…
Have list of at least 5 Spanish-speaking cities/countries I want to visit with kids. I’m kind of doing this now…
Train for a late summer half marathon. This didn’t happen and I really need to revitalize my exercise regimen…
CREATIVE
Morning pages during work week. Nope.
*Make St. Louis photo book. I finally did this! Last week! (Half-point for doing this eventually!)
Take photos with my Olympus once a week. I haven’t busted out my Olympus in AGES…
HOUSE
Do ultimate “junk stuff” purge. Sigh, I wish.
Organize/clean/purge garage. Sigh again. I really wish.
Work on backyard (specific goal to be determined). Oh my god, my backyard looks like the end of days. Just glancing at it out the window causes a panic attack.
FINANCIAL
(Insert action items from Q2 discussion). Bwahahaha!
Continue only buying necessities. Bwahahahaha again!
FAMILY
Go on one city adventure a week (see Q2 goals). Nope. We didn’t do much this summer, at least not when we were home.
MARRIAGE
Go away for a long weekend. We haven’t done this in a long time. We haven’t even had a weekend-long staycation. Boo.
FRIENDS
Meet up with a friend once a week. Nope, but I did do a lot of communicating with the women on the PTA, which I think is what makes me feel okay about not having many good friends.
Visit a friend during the summer. Nope, but I will be seeing a friend in London in April! Whoot!

Q3 GOALS ACHIEVED: .5/17
Q4 (OCT – DEC)
PROFESSIONAL
??? (Not sure where I’ll be at this point). Losing your mind about not having a classroom, and finding out you won’t have one again next year. Not a great place to be.
PERSONAL
Meditate 15 minutes per day. Nah.
*Add new strength training regimen. I got kettle bells, and then realized I needed to be trained in how to use them, or I would hurt myself. I have not yet figured out how to be trained in how to use them, so I don’t really use them. At least I tried! (I will give myself a half-point for this.)
CREATIVE
Re-read The Artist’s Way (or sequel). Totally forgot about this book, and that I ever read it. It’s amazing how something can be so meaningful at one point, and then totally leave my mind completely.
Morning pages during work week. Nope.
HOUSE
Purge summer clothes. I don’t even understand what I meant here. Mine? The kids’?
Work on backyard (specific goal to be determined). As I stated before, my backyard is a shit show, and I have barely set foot in it since summer.
FINANCIAL
Continue only buying necessities (son’s birthday?). How could I have thought I’d make it an entire year doing this?! I didn’t even make it one month.
Price out summer trip abroad. Just looking into this now.
FAMILY
*Trip to Disneyland for son’s birthday? We did this! And it was awesome!
MARRIAGE
*Read an article and talk about it every week. Nope, but we still got Desus and Mero! And my husband’s twitter feed. We frequently read the same TPM articles and talk about those too. I’ll give myself this one.
FRIENDS
Continue meeting up with someone 2-3 a month. I don’t see anyone just for fun anymore, but I do talk to other women, who are my friends, about PTA stuff, which is something…
Q4 GOALS ACHIEVED: 2.5/12
As is clear from this extensive list, I totally failed at achieving the goals I set for myself last year. And it’s not just the specific goals I missed, but the overarching life I clearly wanted to live, that I didn’t manage to live, at all.
Moving forward I will focus on acceptance of what is. I think that is where I can make an actual difference.

10 Comments

  1. Wow. In reading your list, you set a lot of goals for yourself, and some were fairly lofty/difficult.

    I gave up on making resolutions after my twin sons were born in 2012 because I never achieved them. . . but I have had *some* success with making small changes if I break them down into baby steps. I find that I never succeed when I try to focus on eating better, exercise, decluttering, money management and social life (all things that have been on previous resolutions lists) all at once.

    Just a thought. 🙂

    1. Oh, and on the note of “only buying necessities”. . . my BFF often does a “no spend month” where she does this, and she finds it more doable when she knows it will only be for 30 days vs. an extended period of time. I’ve done it a couple of times myself, and I have succeeded (or not, depending on one’s definition of “necessities” — ha!).

      I think accepting what is is ALWAYS a good goal.

  2. I looked at my goals from 2017 and found a similar pattern. I don’t think I want to write it into a blog post though. Overall I feel like I’ve moved backwards substantially from where I was a year ago, which really fucking sucks.

    1. Ana: your site will not let me publish as anonymous. It just eats my comments. I read you regularly and this always occurs.
      So here is what I said: “I like your OPEN idea. Not sure there is One Way to measure daily. Answering YES to opportunities; but some days not relevant. Giving real consideration to ideas/actions/alternatives you would normally nix, again not daily occurrence. Not automatically using your historic fall back approach to problems. Trying new experiences, foods, habits even if you then reject some of them. Hmmm. GOOD word you have chosen ~ and lots of possible measurements to use each day as you evaluate your success in being OPEN. Just being open to how your evaluate the day! SUPER CHOICE!!!!!! GO YOU! purple and rose”

  3. Goals were super lofty.
    I liked the one word of ‘Health’ someone mentioned yesterday.
    I would add ‘Laughter’.
    Then take an existing calendar and put a mark on each day you laugh once, and each day you do anything that is good for your health ~~ from decent eating, to exercise, to taking vitamins, to seeing a doc or dentist (for you or child) or anything. And do not track what it was. SIMPLE simple simple. Do it for a month. Then decide if you wish to do it again. SIMPLE stuff only!
    I believe it is important to count our wins not our failures …. our blessings not our griefs … to celebrate ourselves so we are able to celebrate others. Simple things because the majority of our lives and days are about simple things and sometimes the bigger things are not only out of our control but too scary to think about.
    Thank you for all you bring to me. (Now to follow my own advice!)

    1. Wow. I really really like that idea! Of picking a focus and then trying to do one thing toward that focus every day. I was similarly discouraged by looking at my goals for 2017 and how many I never did accomplish, and I had no desire to set any kind of goals for this year. But if I just picked one or two things and made sure I made some progress towards them daily, it could be quite motivating. I am going to try it!

  4. I don’t think there are enough hours in the week to achieve your goals – quality time with every family member, active social life, exercise, meditate, write, and take photographs!!! On top of work and household responsibilities!

    Several months ago you wrote a post about how you don’t think you would be able to survive without your in-laws. Well, you have! And you did it while taking on enormous PTA responsibilities. Nice work!

  5. I agree with everyone else- that was A LOT of goals. Did you ever look back on the blog post to check in during the year? I have to be honest that I had forgotten about some of my goals and I had less than 10.

  6. Agree with others, you had really really many goals! Also many that were not entirely in your own control. I sympathize though – I tend to grossly overestimate what I can get done in a given time period. If I want to achieve a difficult goal (e.g. a permanent change in habits), I must have just that one goal (and I still don’t necessarily achieve it).

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