Silly me

I thought I’d be writing a post today about what I did and did not end up doing this week. Instead I’m writing a post about how my husband just tested positive for Covid, a week before we’re set to leave for St. Louis.

You know, I wasn’t even worried about Covid affecting our travel plans this summer. I hadn’t even considered it. Silly me! Of course we’ll be spending the week before we leave for a trip wondering if we’ll get to go. Just like we did last summer. Twice.

My cousin responded to a text saying, Oh I know how this stresses you out so much! And I was like, It stresses me out? Like me specifically? I’m sorry, should I not be stressed? Is it fine for me to show up at the farm, where six people are 73+ years old and two are under three years old with Covid? If that is fine, please let me know! And maybe it is fine, because people in Missouri just don’t care. And if it is? So be it. I’ll go. But please let me know. Please say it out loud for me, because I feel like the way people act, where they just get sick and don’t test and play dumb, that is a different thing than showing up knowing you have it. And I think my cousin knows that, but it’s easier for her to pretend like I care more than I should because I’m from an area where people took a lot more precautions than they did in the Mid-West.

{I think this especially frustrates me because my uncle (this cousin’s dad) has heart problems and I’m assuming it would be not good for him to get Covid, so she should be more concerned about us showing up with it than most people!}

I have some other stuff on my mind, but I can’t write about it here because it involves my daughter. But suffice it to say, I’m left to wonder if if I passed on yet another disorder to my poor kid who didn’t ask for any of this shit.

And now this afternoon will be so logistically impossible, because I’m the only one left to manage it.

It’s so crazy how you can wake up one morning looking forward to having lunch with your husband downtown, and by 9am you are wondering if you’re family vacation is about to be derailed. And realizing you’re going to spend the whole week wondering, and that you’ll be wrung out and done by the time you’re vacation is starting (if it does). But that is life.

And my week was very uneventful. I didn’t get a ton done, but I did cross some stuff off my to-do list. Now none of it really matters, except that I won’t be crossing much more off my to-do list because it was mostly organizing downstairs, where my husband is isolating.

I bought a ton of new packing cubes – way too many! – which signals some anxiety I was already feeling about our travel plans this summer. Things are just really tight on a couple of ends and I don’t like that. Maybe now it won’t really matter because stuff will be cancelled. Shrug emoji, I guess?

Sorry. I’m spiraling. I’ll stop. I need to land on a strategy for getting through the next 2-4 days especially, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

I hope your summer plans are hitting fewer snags than ours.