As is always the case, my four days of break with the kids in school went by way too fast and I didn’t get nearly enough done. I’m been fighting back feelings of panic today, trying not to stew in regret for not getting more accomplished.
The house is not where I want it to be. I never scheduled a big junk pick up and we’re still maneuvering around my daughter’s old chest of drawers in the garage. I didn’t get around to purging anything–it feels like every shelf, drawer and toy box is bursting at the seams. I haven’t even finished putting away all the ski/winter clothes from our trip to the mountains.
I have a ton of work to grade, and I never inputted any scores online. I spent five hours at work on Tuesday but I had a hard time getting started and then staying focused. I didn’t use that time well. I did read through the whole classroom management book, and took notes on the first half, so that is something.
I did get the tree taken down and the bulk of the Christmas decorations/books/gift bags packed into the giant storage box that’s been sitting in the hall for over a month. I’m still finding random pieces of holiday paraphernalia around the house so I’ll leave the box out for a few more days; there is nothing I hate more than heaving that massive box into the loft storage space and then finding something I need to put in it. Getting that box back in the garage will probably make me feel better.
I think a lot about minimalism and how and why I’m still pursuing it. It’s easy to think I’m doing a pretty decent job; I live in a much smaller house than most people, and we have very little storage space to keep superfluous things. We don’t even have real closets in our house; my guess is we have fewer clothes, books and toys than most families of four. And yet there is still work to do, and this feeling highlights that for me. I hate feeling like my things are taking over. And while I appreciate knowing where almost everything goes–there were years when I couldn’t effectively clean up because so many things didn’t really have homes–I don’t appreciate spending so much time actually putting things away. We need to get rid of a lot more shit if I’m going to stop feeling so overwhelmed by all of it, and constantly underwhelmed by my ability to manage it.
So I start 2017 with a renewed commitment to minimalism. I know it serves me well, that I NEED it to thrive. If I keep chasing minimalism I expect enough of the other shit to fall away until intentional living happens organically. Maybe some day.