I couldn’t sleep last night. I went to bed at 10:30 and read until 11pm, but at 1am I was still up.
I feel sleep at some point in the next hour I think, but refused to look at he time after 1am.
And now it’s 6am and I have to start my day.
It really throws me when I can’t sleep like that for a night. The nights when my son wakes me up and interrupts my sleep for a good thirty minutes are hard (and still happen way too frequently to be honest), but the nights when I just can’t fall asleep myself wreck me. I’ll be trying to recuperate from last night all week. 
I guess I should just be thankful that it doesn’t happen to me too frequently. Some people deal with insomnia on the regular. Or they wake up every day at 3am and can’t fall back asleep. I know elusive sleep is a big issue for a lot of people.
But it does feel like, what’s the point of any of it if sleep is always so hard to get. Between my son and my own sleep issues, it feels like I’m rolling be dice every night.
God I’m so tired. I want nothing more than to sleepy for another three hours at least. But instead I have to get up; teach, administer retests, go to several hours of conferences, come home and manage my kids, including helping my daughter catch up after missing a day yesterday (she came down with a bad cold suddenly on Sunday night, while I was combing out her hair).
And if I don’t start now I’ll be late to work.
Ugh, a lack of sleep is SO hard. My hubby was waking up between 1-3am for the day every day (crazy anxiety from work), so we finally started him on a CBD+melatonin at night, and it has helped him SOOOo much. LMK if you want the link!
Last night I picked up a book a TTC blog friend had recommended, and whooooeeeee… I stayed up until 11:30pm reading to finish it, then laid in bed for hours thinking about it. NOT my best night of sleep, but it was worth it to devour that book! (Like a House on Fire by Lauren McBrayer) I don’t know if I’ve ever connected with a book like that before. Sheesh!
sleep is such a huge topic. Even after children are completely grown and work stress is reduced …. sometimes despite all the careful sleep hygiene adherence …. well. Sometimes the dragon wins. Hope your day improved and that the fallout is shorter than you anticipate. I swear sometimes it is just something in the air and bodies go wild.
Sending support and appreciation that you wrote so I felt less alone about having been up.