I now follow the blogs of many people who have shit all figured out. Or at the very least, they have their shit all figured out. They have found a system or mindset that works fore them, and now they write about how amazing that system or mindset is and how awesome their life is since they’ve embraced it.
And yes, I KNOW these people are selling a brand (sooooo many of them have books coming out next year, many of them already have books out), but I also know there is some truth behind the facade. They have figured out something that really has improved their lives. Yes, they are not telling the whole truth, but they are extrapolating on a truth that, for them, is very, very real.
Many of these people didn’t always have it together. Many of them struggled and floundered at one point too. But then they had an Aha Moment and Made A Change and Everything Fell Into Place and then They Lived Happily Ever After. Okay, maybe the last part is just branding, but it’s clear they are living much more happily than they did before.
And here I am, tackling the SAME FUCKING ISSUES over and over again, never making any real progress. Even having hit, what to me felt like all-time lows, I still haven’t been able to make real, measurable changes in some areas of my life. I’ve written about my problems in honest, vulnerable ways. I’ve created what felt like achievable goals. I’ve committed myself to those goals in public ways, so I could be held accountable. I’ve done all the things everyone tells you to do, and I’m still, YEARS LATER, making the same mistakes, unable to change.
It really does a number on my feelings of self-worth. It really makes me doubt myself in hard-to-reconcile ways.
Honestly, I can’t really understand it. I’ve been able to to achieve so much of what I’ve set out to do in my life, why are there some areas of personal growth that consistently elude me?
I just wish I could have that Aha moment that transforms my life. (A book deal wouldn’t be so shabby either.)
Instead I’ll just be here, writing about the same issues that I can’t seem to make progress on, always feeling like a failure at certain areas of my life.
And with that, I’m done having my little tantrum.
Are there areas of your life you struggle to change?
Have you had any significant, Aha! moments?