I have to admit, I’m kind of relishing the return to routines. Sure I don’t love getting up at 6am, but I’m really efficient with my time now that I’ve fallen back into my familiar morning routine of making the kids’ lunches, filling their water bottles, and getting ready for work, and then leaving. It’s so much easier to remember to take my thyroid medicine every morning, and my progesterone pill every night, though I’m still struggling with the estrogen patched (changing it every 3-4 days does not lend itself to a routine).
The 11yo’s baseball practices are definitely messing with my afternoon/evening routines, which I’m struggling with. I’m sure it will feel easy right as the season ends, and we have to get used to a new set of afternoon pick-up patterns.
Familiar routines at work are also helping. My two afternoon classes are switched, but otherwise I have the same schedule as the past few years. It’s easy to fall back into a rhythm that my body and mind know so well. Of course I have new students, which adds novelty to the familiar. It’s one of the things I love best about my job – every year is a little different than the last, even if the underlying structure stays the same, the students always provide new variables. And if I’m every bored with anything, I can change things up in any ways I want!
My husband has struggled more this week. I think partly because their morning routine is actually pretty different, and because I’m no longer doing his chores for him, now that I’m back at work. I think he forgot just how much I was doing for him these past couple months.
This week I have Back-to-School Night, which doesn’t rattle me much anymore. I’ve done it a million times and I still like the slides I’ve been using since the return from distance learning. I much prefer presenting to parents in nine-minute increments on Back-to-School Night than the free-for-all mini-conversations that make our Celebration of Learning (fka Open House) so exhausting. Mostly I just try to communicate this one thing to parents: Let your kids’ figure it out! We’re trying to teach them independence and responsibility and if you step in too much you’re going to undermine our efforts! That is my biggest message to parents of middle schoolers.
I don’t want to paint a perfect picture of my life right now. I assure things are not perfect. But I do think I’ve been able to use skills I’ve learned in the past few years to help me navigate the challenges we’ve faced recently. I still ordered two pairs of ankle boots, so I’m not totally cured of my past compulsions, but I’m taking baby steps in the right direction.
The husband and I walked to dinner Sunday night, because we feel like we’ve barely seen each other lately and we wanted to reconnect. It was nice to realize there weren’t any lingering issues someone was waiting to rehash – I’d already confronted him (gently) about his attitude on Saturday and he took a walk by himself and identified what was bothering him and we’d talked it out that evening. In the past I might have simmered with resentment for a couple days before we got to talking about it, but instead we talked about it calmly and no one’s feelings were hurt. That is definitely progress!
I thought I posted this on Monday morning, but I didn’t so I’ll post it now. Oops! Kind of par for the course right now.
Sunday morning and Wednesday night for 2xs a week has a pattern feel to me, your choice of day may vary but that does even thing out sort of. Also putting the new replacement out where you see it can help.
You sound good. Having older children reduces some of the chaos. Startled that you are still making the school lunches. Middle School was the point where mine were able to under take that job, but kids vary in their readiness. Going hungry at lunch is a clear message, that might simplify mornings for you.
SO NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Hope the school start up programs/events go well ….and the yearbook process is smoother this time.
You know, as I was writing out that I make the kids’ lunches I thought, um someone is going to mention this because I probably don’t need to be doing it anymore. 🤣 The kids do pack the non perishables in their lunches at the start of the week (we have five Bentgo boxes for each of them) and I just put in the perishable element for each. It only takes five minutes total. I started doing it after the pandemic, because I was leaving before everyone woke up and it felt like a way to participate in a busy time of day when I was otherwise totally absent. And then I just kept doing it. I thought about giving it over to the high schooler last year but mornings are hard for her and ir felt like it would be a lot to put that on her. So I didn’t. But maybe this year. After things calm down and she starts feeling less stressed about everything.
Ha, I was also a bit startled about the lunch thing. But if you like doing it and the kids are appreciative of your efforts – don’t listen to us and keep going (my mom will still pack me food if we are going to the park together – so nice!).
I absolutely hate packing lunches. So if our kids (they are in middle school and high school) want/need to pack, they are on their own. I do help if they are running late, but mostly I stay out of it.
Absolutely agree! YOU DO YOU!!!! I think it would have been nice when I was kid to have that happen…… but life didn’t work like that for me.
To be clear, I wasn’t thinking, “oh someone will say something,” in a “and I’ll feel attacked,” kind of way, just realizing I was still doing something that others are probably not doing for their kids (or didn’t). It was more just stepping back from it and realizing I was still doing something that probably I didn’t need to anymore, I just hadn’t really revisited it. That is one of the great things about this blog, is it helps me to step back and see what I’m doing from more of a distance. I love that about this space.
Also, I was realizing that I have NO IDEA what I ate for lunch in high school or who made it. None. I’m pretty confident that I didn’t purchase anything at the cafeteria, and I remember where I ate and with who, it the two years when I didn’t have a car to leave campus? I have no recollection of lunches. None. It’s kind of nuts what a gaping hole there is there. So weird.
I am very ready for routines! Summer is great, but I am starting to go a little stir crazy. Everything feels out of place in the house, and I also know that it’s going to be ROUGH to transition back to having early morning wakeups and lunchboxes and all. the. things.
So I’m savouring these last few days of our summer schedule while also feeling VERY ready for what comes next.
I was definitely where you are now a couple weeks ago, at the end of our summer – trying to savor the last days but also itching for the start of school. The kids’ anxiety at the end made me VERY ready for school to start. And I was right, once they finally went back their anxiety came way down and life felt manageable again. The very last few days are rough.
Yes, I like a return to routines as well, although now I’m getting up at 5:15 on running mornings (ack!) It sounds like you have everything under control (I mean- as much as possible with a job, husband and two kids!)
I was thinking about your because I just finished reading The Anomaly. I LOVED it- have you read it, and if so what did you think?
I have not read it but now I’m intrigued. I’ll look into it!
Routines are good to get back to. Yes, the first couple of days are hard, but usually the body falls into some kind of content rhythm again after that. It’s comforting in a way (we are creatures of comfort).
I am glad you had the opportunity to reconnect with your husband and have a good and productive conversation. Good communication is so important in a relationship!