Emotional Hang Over

My friend’s memorial was Sunday. I will admit that I had been dreading it. I just knew I was going to cry the whole time.

And I did cry. A lot But I also talked a lot, with people I haven’t seen in many years. It was nice to see them again, even though we all wished it were under different circumstances.

My friend was an amazing person who touched many, many lives. She died suddenly, and relatively young, and we were all there to remember her and to try to make sense of the fact that she’s no longer with us. It was hard.

I was also reminded that I am an important part of the lives of many people, even people I don’t see much anymore. I appreciated being reminded of that.

Monday I had a pretty bad emotional hang over. My eyes were so puffy it looked like I’d been punched. I was mortified walking to the eye doctor’s – I would have cancelled if I weren’t so desperate for a new pair of glasses. My face didn’t look normal until well into the afternoon.

I was really glad it was a three day weekend.

I took the husband to the airport around 1:30pm. He has been very supportive of me this past week; I’ve been kind of a basket case with the memorial service looming. I was sadder to see him go than I expected. It has felt empty and lonely in the house without him.

I appreciated the weather though. We had our first rain storm, and the dark, wet, weather matched my mood. I got my flu and Covid shots at Kaiser on the way home (they STILL couldn’t fill the 15yo’s ADHD prescription) and stopped at Costco to stock up on freezer foods. Once I got home, I put on cozy pj pants and reveled in our first rain storm of the season.

I made a ton of pumpkin pancakes for the 11yo’s lunches. I vacuumed and changed my sheets. I graded two sets of group projects. I finished up the week’s plans in all the classes (which I had started at swim yesterday). I planned all the afternoons this week, so I know what I’m expecting to accomplish each day. I helped the kids make their lunches. I PUT THE CANS OUT.

Now I’m working out, which wasn’t originally on the docket, but I realized during my planning session that going to the dojo tomorrow wasn’t really going to work for me. I’ll take the 11yo for his class, but staying for my class will be too hard, so I’m working out tonight instead. Honestly, I should have known I was going to work out because I can’t sleep in clean sheets without taking a shower. And I don’t take a shower unless I work out…

Yes, I’m a bit of a weirdo.

It’s going to be a long week without the husband. Luckily I thought to get some gum and candy for the 11yo’s party favors while I was at Costco. I can’t believe his party is this coming Sunday, and that I’m throwing it by myself. We usually have his friend party AFTER his actual birthday, not before. It’s really throwing me for a loop.

I have a couple of posts partially done. I hope to get them up later this week. So far I’ve hit my posting every-other-day goal pretty consistently, and we’re almost half way through the month.

Last week was long with parent/teacher conferences every afternoon and the memorial service looming. This week will be short, at least work wise, and I’m leaning hard into that when things feel stressful. I’m also reminding myself that it’s okay if we don’t make it to something. I have my first teeth cleaning with the kids’ dentist on Wednesday, but otherwise everything is “optional.” and that’s okay.